my magical sweatshirt!

This is me, cropping out my quadruple chin!

oh my.

Kid: Can you steam baby parrots?

Me: WHAT THE *FUCK?* Why the hell would you *WANT* to???

Kid: What? Why not--what the heck? What's wrong with steamed baby carrots?

Me: Steamed *carrots?* Oh. Yes, you can.