hmmm....

[roxy]

Whenever I read a character using a "generous amount" of lube--of anything really, I immediately flash to Second City-era Eugene Levy doing a commercial. Man, it kicks me out of the fic every time. It's kind of a "HAH! ew." thing, not to disrespect Mr. Levy as he is a fine actor and seems a nice man. Just. Um, not in my buttsex stories, thank you.

Comments

[nicnac918.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's pretty bad (though I still think the use of the word "sphincter" in a sex scene is worse).

[write-light.livejournal.com]

SCTV was such genius. What a great commercial. :D

[rosy5000.livejournal.com]

I don't think I"ll be able to hear the word 'generous' any more without cringing now. *shudders* Ewwwww!!!!!!

[tabaqui]

Oh, dear gods. That is so very like the fucked up foods of the seventies.
*shudders*

I don't think we need to describe or in any way quantify the *amount* of lube used. Let's just be sure there *is* some and move along. :)

[digitalwave]

And this is why I love you and your thinky brain. :)

[gingersnap1224.livejournal.com]

I forgot how much I loved SCTV. Oh, Count Floyd and the 3D house of panckes, I miss you.

[portraitofafool.livejournal.com]

I don't know SCTV (other than by name) but I always think of the Olestra warnings when I read something like that: "May cause anal leakage" and then this other thing I read--a true story--where the guy used too much lube (you really can be too generous, it seems) and made a bit of an... ah... accidental laxative. Shit got real. /baaaad joke

So. Yeah.

What I also hate reading--and came thisclose to ranting about the other night--is how, for some amazing fucking reason, there is always "some kind of natural lubricant" in gross quantities when there's no feasible way there'd be actual KY on hand given the situation. Um. No. Men do not naturally lubricate, not even a little bit, particularly not with their peens oozing (oh, yes) the natural lube. That's worse than the magically lubricating ass trope is. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

And another one that will have me slamming a tab closed toot-sweet? The use of the "word" Ngh in "sexytimes dialog". Okay, I don't need people to try and write the sex noises, particularly not a sex noise that sounds more like the person is gagging (seriously, try to say "Ngh" and see what happens). That's not even the onomatopoeia equivalent of anything. Unless it's, I dunno, Czech for "fuck me harder, stud". *hands*

And I'm spent.

[dimeliora.livejournal.com]

There have been times where I am so tempted to leave comments about the dangerous and disgusting effects of too much lube, but really, disgust shared is not disgust halved.