![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Hello! *roxy be all tap-dance-y and frighteningly happy* Say--do you get as scared as I do when I'm all happy like? it's so unnatural--I'm on a natural high, as we used to say back in the day as we were doing shotguns of really fine ha--ooo! Look! Shiny!
Anyway, on a completely unrelated topic, there's more of my story here...hey you know what's hard, taking canon, I mean like an ep canon, and re-writing it to fit your own thing. Hard work! It makes me squinch up my face and go errrr!
Like this--errr.
(*gigglegiggle*i'm sorry, i just can't help it.)
part one
part two
So *wipes eye* here we go--
II
In the three years that had passed since Lex and Lucas’ accident in the field, things had changed drastically in Lex’s life. Most of his lost hair never came back, his head remained bare, though to his relief eyebrows and eyelashes regrew, and some body hair was sprouting in embarrassing places.
He’d gone through a battery of exhausting and to him pointless tests, Lucas too—but his dad seemed to be more interested in *his* recovery and the tests got more and more painful, harder to bear, until one night his mother and he and Lucas left the apartment. His mom explained they were going to visit his grandmother in Scotland, and they did, even though his mom was so tired all the time then and coughed a lot. Those days, she looked like she cried a lot. Even so, he’d always remember it as the nicest break, the best summer he and Lucas ever had. And one day his dad was on the doorstep and his dad and his mom were crying and then they were home again and everything was back to normal. Except that he and Lucas never got sick again.
Why couldn’t the same thing have happened to his mother, he wondered? At night he cried and listened to his mother’s pain wracked coughing until finally he’d put a pillow over his head until he’d fall asleep.
Lucas was playing in the hallway, pushing some toy truck or car around an obstacle course of shoes and books. Lex stepped over him and pretended to wobble wildly, as if he were going to knock over his brother’s carefully constructed jump.
Lucas yelled and swatted at Lex’s leg and for a moment it felt normal once again, and then his father’s voice called out, “Hush, you boys, be quiet, your mother’s asleep.”
Both of them immediately felt a crushing wave of guilt. They knew how hard it was for their mother to sleep, dad told them that all the time. Every time they raised their voices Lionel was there to tell them to be quiet, to hold it down until most of their conversations were held in guilty hushed whispers.
Lex frowned, “Finish getting ready for school Lucas, and put this stuff away.” He stomped off down the hall.
Every time Mom made a noise, every time she showed pain, they felt responsible. Lucas had asked him once if it was his fault Mom was sick. Lex knew he was just searching for a reason, but it had made him so mad and he’d yelled at him and chased him out of his room. He’d felt so bad about it later that he’d gone to Lucas’ room to talk, but Lucas had returned the favor. Lex had sat in his room alone the rest of the night, but next morning Lucas was sleeping on the end of his bed. That was pretty much the pattern for a while, he’d wake up and find Lucas on the end of his bed or on the floor next to his bed.
As Lex passed Lionel’s study, he called him into his office. Lex was dressed and ready for school, and he was eager to go, eager to get out of the apartment and out from under the cloud of barely controlled misery and the smell and the sound of his mother coughing and coughing and…Lex felt his stomach curl with guilt. He was a horrible son….
“Lex, sit here with me a moment, I’d like to talk with you,” his dad said. They sat on the couch; Lex folded his hands over the creases in his uniform trousers, the little brass buttons on his navy blazer gleaming in the dancing light of the flames. His father liked having a fire on winter mornings, it made things a little more homey he said. Lex thought so too, and since the heat was kept low constantly because his mother felt a little too hot all the time, the apartment was always slightly chilly in the mornings and the fire was doubly welcome. They sat quietly for a moment and then Lionel sighed and began to speak.
“Lex, your mother is very ill.” He heard the tiny catch in his father’s voice, but Lionel went on. “I’m asking you now for your help and understanding. Alexander, your mother is not going to get better. Your mother is going to die.”
Lex sat still as a statue, shocked beyond movement, horrified. He knew but he didn’t want to know. It couldn’t be possible. He couldn’t lose his mother. Tears filled his eyes and his head dropped forward. His dad patted his shoulder and went on. “I’m going to need your help with Lucas; you’ll need to be strong for him, Lex. He’ll need your support, as will I. It’s going to be hard for all of us, but especially for him, he’s so young.” He lifted Lex’s chin and stared into his eyes. “Lex, I’m telling you the truth because you deserve it. It’s the right thing to do.”
Lex nodded. Yes. The truth. A tiny part of him hated his dad for telling him his mother was going to die, and he squashed that feeling. It was wrong….
Lionel wrapped his arms around him and rested his chin on top of his head. He smelt good, Lex thought, a spicy cologne, leather, cotton, it made him feel safe and warm and he told him over and over what a good boy he was, and how much they all needed him, and how much Lucas depended on him. The words piled up on him like bricks and he wondered how he could hope to be everything his dad wanted him to be.
After his talk with his dad, he wondered if he should tell Lucas the truth too. The truth was important after all, and Lucas needed to be brave, face up to the real world. Besides, it wasn’t even like it was really his mother, Lucas’ mother was already dead. His real mother.Lex didn't like to think about that much.
Dad insisted that Lex at Lucas’ age be a man, face up to his fears. Why shouldn’t Lucas be a little man too? He was old enough. Why should he walk out of this scott -free, no worries? It wasn’t fair. Lex stopped. Quit thinking like an asshole, he’s just a little kid…
Lex was thinking about it as he changed into his pajamas. He could hear the nanny getting Lucas ready for bed too, the bathroom that joined their rooms rang with the sound of him splashing and yammering away. Happy, Lex thought bitterly, happy while he felt a crushing weight on his chest all the time, felt like a hand was wrapped around his throat and he had to keep smiling like a clown no matter what.
He threw himself on his bed and clicked the light off. Damn, he cursed to himself, and tried out the new word he learned—shit. Shit. He smiled a little in the dark. He did feel better, a little--he felt a little wicked, a little grown. After all, he wasn’t a kid any more. He was practically a teenager.
The door between their rooms creaked open and a sliver of light dazzled his eyes.
“Lex?” a little voice called out. “You didn’t come say good night.” He sounded almost on the verge of tears and it made him angry again.
“Go to bed Lucas,” he snapped.
There was silence and then, “Sorry Lex. Good night,” he said and started to leave the room. He sounded so lost and sad, and Lex kicked himself mentally. Damn it, damn it—you creep.
“Come on back, Lucas.”
Lucas dashed back into the room and slowed when he got near the bed. “Lex…Lex… please, can I sleep in here tonight? There’s noise in my room.”
Lex patted the bed. “Come on, just don’t kick me in the head okay?”
Lucas jumped up with him. “Thanks Lex, thanks a lot.”
Lucas sounded so relieved and grateful that Lex couldn’t help but smile at him. “Do you need the light on?”
“Of course not!” He was quiet for a while and then he said, “Lex, Mom’s going to die isn’t she?”
Even though he asked, Lex knew he wanted him to say no, don’t be silly. He was quiet for a second too long, and Lucas started to cry, quietly, softly. What could he do? What could he say? He threw his arms around him and pulled him close. “We have each other right? And I’ll never leave you. Never.”
“You promise? You swear you’ll always be my brother, always be my friend?”
“Of course, I promise! I promise.” Lex grinned as Lucas burrowed in, kicking him in the legs as Lex deftly avoided being kneed in the crotch.
“Good,” Lucas mumbled, his face pressed against Lex’s t-shirt, good. “Don’t forget, you belong to me,” he said forcefully and wiped his face on his shirt.
Lex was a little startled at Lucas’s vehemence, but he snorted and patted him.
“Right.” he said. “ I belong to you.”
TBC, natch!
Anyway, on a completely unrelated topic, there's more of my story here...hey you know what's hard, taking canon, I mean like an ep canon, and re-writing it to fit your own thing. Hard work! It makes me squinch up my face and go errrr!
Like this--errr.
(*gigglegiggle*i'm sorry, i just can't help it.)
part one
part two
So *wipes eye* here we go--
II
In the three years that had passed since Lex and Lucas’ accident in the field, things had changed drastically in Lex’s life. Most of his lost hair never came back, his head remained bare, though to his relief eyebrows and eyelashes regrew, and some body hair was sprouting in embarrassing places.
He’d gone through a battery of exhausting and to him pointless tests, Lucas too—but his dad seemed to be more interested in *his* recovery and the tests got more and more painful, harder to bear, until one night his mother and he and Lucas left the apartment. His mom explained they were going to visit his grandmother in Scotland, and they did, even though his mom was so tired all the time then and coughed a lot. Those days, she looked like she cried a lot. Even so, he’d always remember it as the nicest break, the best summer he and Lucas ever had. And one day his dad was on the doorstep and his dad and his mom were crying and then they were home again and everything was back to normal. Except that he and Lucas never got sick again.
Why couldn’t the same thing have happened to his mother, he wondered? At night he cried and listened to his mother’s pain wracked coughing until finally he’d put a pillow over his head until he’d fall asleep.
Lucas was playing in the hallway, pushing some toy truck or car around an obstacle course of shoes and books. Lex stepped over him and pretended to wobble wildly, as if he were going to knock over his brother’s carefully constructed jump.
Lucas yelled and swatted at Lex’s leg and for a moment it felt normal once again, and then his father’s voice called out, “Hush, you boys, be quiet, your mother’s asleep.”
Both of them immediately felt a crushing wave of guilt. They knew how hard it was for their mother to sleep, dad told them that all the time. Every time they raised their voices Lionel was there to tell them to be quiet, to hold it down until most of their conversations were held in guilty hushed whispers.
Lex frowned, “Finish getting ready for school Lucas, and put this stuff away.” He stomped off down the hall.
Every time Mom made a noise, every time she showed pain, they felt responsible. Lucas had asked him once if it was his fault Mom was sick. Lex knew he was just searching for a reason, but it had made him so mad and he’d yelled at him and chased him out of his room. He’d felt so bad about it later that he’d gone to Lucas’ room to talk, but Lucas had returned the favor. Lex had sat in his room alone the rest of the night, but next morning Lucas was sleeping on the end of his bed. That was pretty much the pattern for a while, he’d wake up and find Lucas on the end of his bed or on the floor next to his bed.
As Lex passed Lionel’s study, he called him into his office. Lex was dressed and ready for school, and he was eager to go, eager to get out of the apartment and out from under the cloud of barely controlled misery and the smell and the sound of his mother coughing and coughing and…Lex felt his stomach curl with guilt. He was a horrible son….
“Lex, sit here with me a moment, I’d like to talk with you,” his dad said. They sat on the couch; Lex folded his hands over the creases in his uniform trousers, the little brass buttons on his navy blazer gleaming in the dancing light of the flames. His father liked having a fire on winter mornings, it made things a little more homey he said. Lex thought so too, and since the heat was kept low constantly because his mother felt a little too hot all the time, the apartment was always slightly chilly in the mornings and the fire was doubly welcome. They sat quietly for a moment and then Lionel sighed and began to speak.
“Lex, your mother is very ill.” He heard the tiny catch in his father’s voice, but Lionel went on. “I’m asking you now for your help and understanding. Alexander, your mother is not going to get better. Your mother is going to die.”
Lex sat still as a statue, shocked beyond movement, horrified. He knew but he didn’t want to know. It couldn’t be possible. He couldn’t lose his mother. Tears filled his eyes and his head dropped forward. His dad patted his shoulder and went on. “I’m going to need your help with Lucas; you’ll need to be strong for him, Lex. He’ll need your support, as will I. It’s going to be hard for all of us, but especially for him, he’s so young.” He lifted Lex’s chin and stared into his eyes. “Lex, I’m telling you the truth because you deserve it. It’s the right thing to do.”
Lex nodded. Yes. The truth. A tiny part of him hated his dad for telling him his mother was going to die, and he squashed that feeling. It was wrong….
Lionel wrapped his arms around him and rested his chin on top of his head. He smelt good, Lex thought, a spicy cologne, leather, cotton, it made him feel safe and warm and he told him over and over what a good boy he was, and how much they all needed him, and how much Lucas depended on him. The words piled up on him like bricks and he wondered how he could hope to be everything his dad wanted him to be.
After his talk with his dad, he wondered if he should tell Lucas the truth too. The truth was important after all, and Lucas needed to be brave, face up to the real world. Besides, it wasn’t even like it was really his mother, Lucas’ mother was already dead. His real mother.Lex didn't like to think about that much.
Dad insisted that Lex at Lucas’ age be a man, face up to his fears. Why shouldn’t Lucas be a little man too? He was old enough. Why should he walk out of this scott -free, no worries? It wasn’t fair. Lex stopped. Quit thinking like an asshole, he’s just a little kid…
Lex was thinking about it as he changed into his pajamas. He could hear the nanny getting Lucas ready for bed too, the bathroom that joined their rooms rang with the sound of him splashing and yammering away. Happy, Lex thought bitterly, happy while he felt a crushing weight on his chest all the time, felt like a hand was wrapped around his throat and he had to keep smiling like a clown no matter what.
He threw himself on his bed and clicked the light off. Damn, he cursed to himself, and tried out the new word he learned—shit. Shit. He smiled a little in the dark. He did feel better, a little--he felt a little wicked, a little grown. After all, he wasn’t a kid any more. He was practically a teenager.
The door between their rooms creaked open and a sliver of light dazzled his eyes.
“Lex?” a little voice called out. “You didn’t come say good night.” He sounded almost on the verge of tears and it made him angry again.
“Go to bed Lucas,” he snapped.
There was silence and then, “Sorry Lex. Good night,” he said and started to leave the room. He sounded so lost and sad, and Lex kicked himself mentally. Damn it, damn it—you creep.
“Come on back, Lucas.”
Lucas dashed back into the room and slowed when he got near the bed. “Lex…Lex… please, can I sleep in here tonight? There’s noise in my room.”
Lex patted the bed. “Come on, just don’t kick me in the head okay?”
Lucas jumped up with him. “Thanks Lex, thanks a lot.”
Lucas sounded so relieved and grateful that Lex couldn’t help but smile at him. “Do you need the light on?”
“Of course not!” He was quiet for a while and then he said, “Lex, Mom’s going to die isn’t she?”
Even though he asked, Lex knew he wanted him to say no, don’t be silly. He was quiet for a second too long, and Lucas started to cry, quietly, softly. What could he do? What could he say? He threw his arms around him and pulled him close. “We have each other right? And I’ll never leave you. Never.”
“You promise? You swear you’ll always be my brother, always be my friend?”
“Of course, I promise! I promise.” Lex grinned as Lucas burrowed in, kicking him in the legs as Lex deftly avoided being kneed in the crotch.
“Good,” Lucas mumbled, his face pressed against Lex’s t-shirt, good. “Don’t forget, you belong to me,” he said forcefully and wiped his face on his shirt.
Lex was a little startled at Lucas’s vehemence, but he snorted and patted him.
“Right.” he said. “ I belong to you.”
TBC, natch!
no subject
“Right.” he said. “ I belong to you.” "
Uh-oh.
Houston, we're gonna have a problem. With an alien, no less.
*evil evil grin*
Okay, you were fast so here are the kisses!!!
*MWAH MWAH MWAH!!*
(it's goooood to be home!!)
no subject
no subject
Lex was a little startled at Lucas's vehemence, but he snorted and patted him.
"Right." he said. "I belong to you."
Ummm,... yeah, not if Clark has anything to say about it (i.e., if Clark isn't quite such a jerk about his SECRET and Lex is a little more relaxed about the fact that Clark has a SECRET).
Although, I think I need to wish Clark luck with that - Lucas might try to forcibly put him down. Oh, Joy!
no subject
Hmm...we'll just have to see, don't we?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
*stares hard at Roxy until she writes more*
no subject
no subject
*sniffle*
But good.
:)
I like that you're all happy singin'!
*smoooch*
no subject
I know, I wish I could just run all around to ya'll and make you feel as good as me! *lovehugkiss*
I love you!
no subject
:)
*hugs*
no subject
*waits for Clark to enter in the equation*
no subject
no subject
can't wait for more:)
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject