Stoopit!

[roxy]

Today, I was a complete and utter asshole at work.

I lost it--totally, entirely, lost it. Someone I work with while playing around, accidently smacked me in the face. They tossed a package of underwear at me and clipped me. Okay, it didn't hurt a lot but...she hit me in the face.
Smack. Loud.

That's something that just...makes me lose it, don't ask me why, she probably could have kicked me in the butt and I wouldn't have gotten half as angry. And I just didn't get angry--I got stupid. I got beyond mad, I got ignorant. I had to leave, told the girl I was leaving so I wouldn't drag her across the counter she was sitting at and kill her mother fucking ass. I called her a bitch and I left--I told everyone blocking my access to the exit to get the fuck out of my way and told my supervisor to shut up and leave me alone until I was cool again.
Damn
I hate loosing my shit completely--I don't mind being crabby, but I hate feeling like I need to kill someone or I won't be able to calm down. Errrffff...idiot girl. I came so *close!* And then it would have been on, I'm sure, and I don't fight, I'm too fucking old for that.

Eventually I calmed down and told her we were square and watch her ass in future, but man...*shakes head*
Guess I got some 'splaining to do tomorrow.

And just so you know, I don't give a shit about what I said to her, I'm just mad I showed out in the store. So much for that Mrs. Santa Claus image I was going for.

Comments

[treetracer]

Goodness! But, better to leave and cool down than stay and have to hide someone's body. And that kind of "playing around" shouldn't be going on at work, IMO. {{{hugs}}}

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, much better, I guess. And she was being an idiot--hopefully it won't happen again.

[emeraldsedai.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a shock reaction to me. Who knows what being clipped in the face by a package of underwear (or anything else, for that matter) triggered in your nervous system? In the fight/flight/freeze trifecta, you went for fight in a big way.

Don't you just HATE being reminded that whole big parts of you are just a pre-human, non-rational mammal?

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

lol!!! Yes, I think that was exactaly why I was so angry. *G* That and the nerve of that little girl--I'm not her mommy, you know what I mean?

[emeraldsedai.livejournal.com]

Throwing underwear at your head. I mean, really!

[dawnybee.livejournal.com]

Daaammn! This is my favorite part though:

I just didn't get angry--I got stupid
Sometimes it happens that way. There was time I snapped on someone and you'd thought I had Tourette's.

You weren't being an a**hole, people get angry. Now she know better to be playing around you.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

yeah, what I wanted to say was I got retarded--
You weren't being an a**hole, people get angry. Now she know better to be playing around you.
Her and everybody else including the customers, lol! I'm gonna hear about it tomorrow! *G*

[herohunter.livejournal.com]

Hitting you in the face, I don't care how "joking" they thought they were is not right and it's not alright.

*hugs*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure she knows now...*g* but I don't hold a grudge--I got pissed, it's over now. we can be cool again as far as I'm concerned , you know?
*mmmmm-hugs!*

[jennifus.livejournal.com]

You did better than I would have... I'd have beat her ass down.

Everyone loses their temper sometimes, dear.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

God, I wanted to at the momnent, but I figure it's not right for a woman my age...or do you think it is okay? *GRIN*

[jennifus.livejournal.com]

Oh, hell no. Kicking the shit out of someone stupid is okay at ANY age.
*g*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Rats! Okay, I'll behave myself!

[katholicgrrl.livejournal.com]

Completely understandable reaction. Fooling around or not, your experience was of a physical assault, and that triggered strong emotions. i went through something sort of similar at work, strangely coincidentally. (((sends you love and hugs))) :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*mmmmm--hugs you back hard* Yeah, I just hate to lose control completely you know? Most times no matter how mad I get some part of my brain is cool and collected, just kind of taking notes, but this time--major snap, no co-pilot, lol!! I'm glad I didn't hit the kid, no matter how bad I wanted to.

[supercaptain182.livejournal.com]

Good you calmed down. Sometimes the urge to bitchslap creeps up when least expected. Glad that you separated yourself so you didn't do something stupid. Oh well everyone has the 'fuck off and die' moments, usually prompted by alot less than flying undies. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

lol! Yep, I expect that there will be a lot *less* flying undies at the job. *G*
And the fact I didn't snatch anyone bald is a major triumph for me, lol!

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

:hugs:

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

awww! Thank you, I'm really okay about it now, but it was upsetting this afternoon.

[capnzebbie.livejournal.com]

I hear Mrs. Santa Claus has quite the temper. They just left that part out of the song. *g*

*hugs* Hope the 'splaining goes well.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I hear Mrs. Santa Claus has quite the temper. They just left that part out of the song. *g*,/i>
LOL!!!! That explains everything!
thank you, darlink!

[suzvoy.livejournal.com]

You definitely did the right thing walking away, and hey, we all have different triggers that set us off :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Yeah, true that, though a tiny part of me wishes I'd whacked her in the head just a little bit.

[elli.livejournal.com]

*hugz*

I can understand you being pissed. I would be too. It just sucks not being in control and having to act.

[tabaqui]

Ack!
Ms. Thang!
Sucks when you let your nice face drop, don't it.
*snuggles you*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*cling* Yeah, it kind of does. on the one hand, people mess with you less, on the other hand there's that losing all civilization thing. ;)

[tabaqui]

Heeeee.
Yeah.
*smooooooch*