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Deal part 3D
*blushgrin* So, I’m on a roll, hope ya’ll don’t mind!
Title: Deal
Fandom: SV
Pairing:
Rating: 3
previous parts of Deal
Clark was on the edge of sleep, in that part of it that slid in and out of fantasy and reality. He heard Lex’s voice—he rolled to his side, and wished he could hear it again. He felt like he was drifting in clouds, warm clouds, soft, deep, cottony….
Lex was sitting on the floor of the cold little room, staring up at him. “I called your name. I kept calling it, it kept me from going insane.”
Clark didn’t stop to think what Lex was talking about. He sat down on the chilly floor next to him. It was so dark the corners of the room were invisible. Thankfully, it was just him and Lex, in an island of pale light and Lex’s face was crumpled in sorrow. Clark felt a sharp pain in his chest; he tried to speak and choked, “I’m so sorry you died. I miss you every day, every day…sometimes, when there’s no one around, I cry, thinking about you.” He stopped and with a wobbly laugh said, “I do that a lot…”
Lex’s mouth worked, he swallowed hard and Clark could see he was trying to maintain control. “I—I--”
The dream changed suddenly—Lex was sitting on a narrow cot, looking like he’d been beaten, and he was talking to some big blond Nazi.
“And I’ve been watching you and I’d like to know---why are you such an asshole?”
Before Clark could warn him, the Nazi punched Lex in the head. Lex’s head snapped back, hit the wall, and Clark screamed, stars burst bright white and blue behind his eyes, he felt pain--bone slamming against bone, as if the guy had hit him…when the bastard left, Lex rocked on the cot, and looked as if he were about to cry. But he pulled himself upright against the wall, spit a little blood onto the tiles, and laughed, low and shaky but still, a laugh. The handle on the thick steel door rattled and started to open and Lex tried to look defiant, but his eyes were huge and dark and terrified, and Clark felt as if he were staring straight at him—
“Clark!”
Clark shot upright, clutching the edge of the mattress. That had been so real, so real. It felt like Lex was right here, close enough to touch. He could still feel the impact, the feel of skin sliding over bone. The look in Lex’s eyes— so frightened. Clark shook himself. Bad. But thank god, not one of the really bad ones.
He zipped out and did the chores he had to do, at the fastest he was capable of. He long ago stopped thinking that what he did was virtually slave labor. He was sure his parents thought they gave him enough in return to demand it of him. He wouldn’t know. He didn’t speak to them unless he absolutely had to. Not after all the arguments, growing bigger and bigger until they ended in the fight that had raged all night long when in a moment of anger, he told them that he’d given Adam his secret. His dad had been so angry and Clark just didn’t get why—what he’d told Adam couldn’t hurt *them*, it wasn’t like they cared about him, not since Lex died. They hadn’t shared anything, hadn’t been a family….
Finished with his chores, he slouched into the kitchen, and got a glass of water.
His dad had called him a name. And his mother stood there, crying, and let him. The fury in his dad’s eyes had been replaced by shock, and then, regret—but if he hadn’t meant to call him that, if he hadn’t been thinking it all along, he would never had said it.
It was okay, it really was. In fact, it was better this way. To have it in the open, have it spoken aloud instead of hiding in the corners of every word they spoke, every look. Though to be honest, recently, when he thought about it, he got angrier and angrier.
It was stupid--they could handle the fact that he was an alien—but not that he might love another man? What was their damn logic? Because he *looked* like a man? How the hell did they even know this wasn’t right for—for—creatures like him?
Shit.
He snorted and drank down the rest of the water, rinsed and dried the glass and put it away. He didn’t want to be a burden on the Kents.
He went outside again, walking in the quiet dawn. He lingered by the cowsheds and watched the sun come up over the fields, and thought about his dream. It felt big. Something important was hiding in the corners of it. Didn’t matter really, it wasn’t like he could talk about it with anyone, not like he had a friend.
He jumped the fence, headed away, and he heard his mother call him. He didn’t stop. He walked through the corn field, avoiding the main road, walked through the little woods and over the bridge and past it. He walked past the front of the castle, and the air was already shimmering with heat. If he’d been human, the humidity would probably be weighing on him, but he wasn’t and it meant nothing to him.
He took a hidden path that lead to the back of the castle; a path worn through the head high grass and scrub that hadn’t existed while Lex lived.
The castle was empty of everyone but a caretaker, and showed more signs of neglect then the weed choked rear lawn. Adam kept it from falling down, maintained the basics, but the gardens around the perimeter were over grown, only the hardiest plants survived. It used to really affect him, that empty place. It was like an empty tooth socket—he had to keep coming back to it, poking, probing the feeling it gave him. There was unfinished business there.
He slipped between the bars at the fence, avoiding what security there was, and made his way through the back gardens. He opened a rear entrance and in a blur of motion, he was in Lex’s bedroom. He spent a lot of time there—he’d spent whole days lying on the dustsheet covered bed, just---staring. Thinking. He kind of thought of the room as his. And yeah, sometimes, he imagined that Lex was with him. On the bed, in the shower. He jerked off in the room sometime, with Lex in his mind….
Dust was thin in the room. He cleaned it from time to time. Once a month, housekeeping would go through the rooms, inspecting them, making sure that the structure was okay. They never seemed to notice the activity in that room. They never touched anything. What Lex had had there was still there. Clothes, jewelry, cologne, untouched, still in it’s place—cufflinks laid in a wood tray, and a yellowed invitation to a party long, long over, a vignette of a life he hadn’t known that he wanted to be part of. Adam walked out of this room and left it like a shrine, but Clark—he wanted to live in it, imagine Lex was coming back, any second, he’d be back….
Besides, in a way, the room was his, wasn’t it? He wasn’t really trespassing or intruding here if the castle was his, or would be soon. One more year, one more year and it was his. And fuck--he didn’t want it. He wanted Lex, not this dusty, falling down pile of stones. As soon as it was his, he’d sell it, and take the money and leave, go so far away no one would know him—where it made sense that no one cared about him.
*****
He was tossing and turning in his sleep. Lex kept him up, he was pacing, and mumbling and every so often he’d bend over and grab his face. When he turned, the harsh light made his face look blue tinged and drawn. He opened his mouth to scream and Clark saw with horror his teeth had been pulled.
He woke with a shout; sweat running down his face, and the ghost of pain in his jaws.
God…god…what did that *mean*? Why the hell would he dream something so weird? He got up from the bed and moved over to the open window. The moon was out, high in the sky. Curtains hung motionless, damp in the heavy humid air. He rubbed at his face, rubbed harder. How long had he been asleep? He let the curtains drop back over the window and walked back to the bed. He lay down, a little nervously, and hoped not to dream.
When he opened his eyes again, it was a little cooler—and he was looking into Adam’s face, his green eyes icy with anger, his red mouth twisted in a snarl.
“Clark. What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
“It’s mine,” Clark said, and Adam’s eyes went even colder.
“Not yet, it’s not.” He sniffed. “Shit, it smells in here, like mold—dust…” he glanced around the room and saw a small cooler, jugs of water in the corner. The dustsheets that should have been on the furniture were folded and stacked in a corner. “What the—are you camping in here?” Clark turned red and Adam snarled. “Your parents know you’re doing this?”
Clark looked away from Adam, out toward the window. “If I’m gone for a few days, they don’t say anything.” He looked up at Adam and smiled coldly. “No one does. No one looks, not for…something like me.”
“Yeah. Poor fucking you.” He looked around the room, Lex’s bedroom. It looked like Clark had been living there for much longer than a day or two, knew from the staff he’d been coming in and out of the place since the beginning of the summer. He really didn’t give a shit about that—but living here…that was…nuts. All of Lex’s shit was still there, untouched, unmoved, except for some picture of Lex he didn’t recognize. There was also a picture of him and Lex that came from some gossip magazine--Clark had carefully framed it.
He looked at the kid, sort of huddled and yet defiant on the bed, and he looked like…shit. He looked like kids on the street, the kind of look that you got from washing up at train station sinks, and eating whenever, whatever you could. What the fuck was going on…
“Clark, why the fuck aren’t you at home? This is Smallville—it’s not like your folks can’t find you, not like they don’t know where you are.”
“I don’t want them,” he growled. “They know to leave me alone. Besides, I don’t think they care where I am.”
“Yeah, some how I doubt that.” Adam couldn’t believe that the Kents would abandon their son—not like this. Even if he wasn’t really theirs, even if he was nonhuman, he couldn’t see them turning their backs on him.
Clark stared up at him, green eyes like emeralds in the black shadows smeared under them.
He felt a long suppressed stir of concern. “When was the last time you really slept, Clark?”
Clark jerked and shook his head. “I don’t need to sleep.”
This guy, so fucking, stupidly defiant…Adam flashed back to another kid who’d been so defiant, and scared, just like this….“Bullshit—everyone needs to sleep.”
“I’m not an everyone, I’m an every*thing*, remember?”
Adam took a step back. Clark looked almost as intense as the last time he’d seen him—the day he’d set his papers afire with his eyes. When he’d blamed him for Lex’s death. “Yeah, fuck that—you look like shit, you smell like gym socks. Tell me, damn it, when did you last sleep? Or eat?”
“I—I’m afraid to sleep. And I really don’t need as much sleep or…or food, as you do.” Clark’s defiant attitude collapsed like a deflating balloon. He looked exhausted, drained, and Adam’s heart went out to him. Shit—he was just a kid, no matter what else he was; he was also a tired kid at the end of his rope. Desperate. Lonely.
Adam sat next to him, and after a second, he let his hand fall in the space between his leg and Clark’s knee. Clark stiffened. “Tell me what’s going on, Clark.”
“Besides losing my family?” Clark fell back on the bed and sighed. “You’re not going to want to hear this…but I have to tell someone before I lose my mind—It’s Lex. I keep dreaming about Lex. And not nice little ‘oh gosh, I miss you’ dreams—not even sad dreams. They’re…fucking horrible. I’ve seen him tortured, sliced open, beat—I’ve seen him get his bones broken and set so they grow wrong—and then---then—his body fixes it and it’s so horrible.” Clark swallowed hard, and Adam looked at him. What the fuck—
“And—and once they pulled out all his teeth, and they cut him open and peeled his skin back and his ribs and—and put things in him, and took things out--”
Clark was green, he was breathing harder and clenching and unclenching his hands, and Adam laid his hand on his arm and it was hard as rock. “Clark—they’re just dreams. Just dreams.”
Clark nodded, and gulped before speaking. “I know. I know, but…they feel so real, more real than my life.” He closed his eyes.
Adam watched him and said, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I feel like it’s my fault you’re punishing yourself like this.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “So. *You* might not want to hear this but… I miss you.” He gave Clark a sardonic smile, derision aimed as usual at himself. “I’m kind of surprised how much.” He laid his hand on Clark’s chest, and Clark opened his eyes and laid his own hand over Adam’s.
“Yeah, well…it was an awful lot to ask of you, that you just accept it like that. I shouldn’t have tried to drop that crap in your lap. I should have known better. But I appreciate that you didn’t try to use it…”
Adam snorted. “Why should I? I don’t have friends, I was stupid to give up the only one I had…have.” He scowled at Clark. “Unless you’re going to hold a grudge. In which case, fuck you, I don’t need you.”
Clark laughed in surprise. “You’re the rudest, most ignorant and thoughtless person I’ve ever met.”
Adam laughed, a real laugh that rang like crystal being struck. Clark gaped at him.
“What, you thought I couldn’t laugh?” His hand was rubbing circles on Clark’s chest. When he sighed and relaxed a little against his hand, Adam felt a bit of tension easing in his own chest.
“No one’s touched me for a long time,” Clark said softly. His eyes were closed again, and he looked a little less pinched and starving. Adam leaned over and whispered, “I know. Me either.” His movement became more purposeful, broader sweeps, he felt Clark’s nipples warm, tighten under his palm, felt his chest rise and fall a little faster. His hand moved to the band of skin revealed by the thin t-shirt riding up. The skin was so warm, and smooth. Adam stopped and waited and Clark moved the hand a little lower, and his lips parted a bit. Adam took a deep breath, that little movement made him hard. “Clark…”
Clark licked his lip and Adam groaned to himself, he leaned over him, and touched his lips lightly to Clark’s. The heat of Clark’s mouth seemed to flow right to his dick, and in seconds he was so hard it hurt. Clark was breathing harder and harder, soft full lips trembling under his and Adam cupped him, feeling how hot and hard he was through his jeans. Clark jerked and cried out softly and suddenly, stiffened.
“I’m sorry-I’m sorry, I can’t.” Tears stood out in his eyes and he begged Adam to understand.
“Clark, Clark, stop—don’t apologize, I’m not trying to make you do something you don’t want, or you’re not ready for, okay? I understand that feeling, trust me.” He smiled grimly, and Clark’s pinched, worried look smoothed out some. “Stay here, if you want…it’s your place, use it any way you care to. But you’ll have to talk to your parents sometime, you know.”
Clark sighed and turned to his side, shifted until his back was pressed tight against Adam. “Can you stay while I sleep a little please, in case I have another…dream?”
Adam murmured assent, and when after a little bit, Clark drifted off, he watched him while he slept.
*******
“I think that it’s time to remove Alexander from the program. We’ve gotten everything we can get from him. This part of the Cadmus Project is finished, Mr. Hati. Reassign everyone involved.”
Mr. Hati grinned, and asked, “Then may I have him? I’ll clean up after myself, you know I always do.”
“No, not yet. I think…I think I’d like him in the desert. For a while. Let me explore an avenue that might be lucrative.”
Mr. Hati looked rather close to pouting. “What—ransom? Do you think his father would pay a ransom for him?” He looked doubtful. “He never seemed to exhibit any paternal interest in him before this.” He licked his lips, and murmured, “I would have kept him safe. I’d never let him be taken…”
The large blonde man stood and leaned on the railing where Mr. Hati stood, looking out over the skyline of a darkened city. In the distance, deep orange moonlight quivered on ocean waves. He inclined his head and the wet breeze swept the hair from his broad forehead. Mr. Hati thought he looked like a lion, wide shoulders taking up room, and even he found it hard to breathe standing next to him. The Patron sighed and rocked back on his heels.
“Actually, my boy, Alexander is of great interest to his father. He’s a…unique individual, is Alexander’s father. You know, once we were close as brothers.” He turned to Mr. Hati and smiled. “Or at least I thought we were. Get him ready for the journey. I’ll talk to you there. Oh, and you may feel free to enjoy Alexander. Within limits, my boy, within limits.”
*****
Lex looked up when Uniform Man walked into his cell. He tensed, expecting anything, but Uniform Man sat next to him and sighed, a little whisper of sound.
“Alexander, Alexander…” His too dry and too hot hand landed on the nape of his neck and squeezed. “Are you cold? You always look a little cold, your lips are always a little blue…” He leaned against Lex and Lex closed his eyes and hoped that his nightmares weren’t about to come true.
The man grabbed his arm and yanked it out, trapped it beneath his own, and ripped up Lex’s sleeve. Before Lex could react, he’d been stabbed—a needle sank into his arm and the man pumped something into his vein that burned like fire.
He jumped up and leaned over and grabbing Lex’s jaw in a grip like a vise, kissed him, hard and painfully—Lex felt his lip split inside his mouth, and blood poured over both their tongues. “Mmmm. I will see you in the desert, Alexander.” he said, and his voice slid down into an intimate scale that Lex felt in his gut. His head spun, and the lights got dimmer and dimmer and the last thing he was aware of was a voice whispering, “I think you’ll enjoy belonging to me.”
continued in part 4
Title: Deal
Fandom: SV
Pairing:
Rating: 3
previous parts of Deal
Clark was on the edge of sleep, in that part of it that slid in and out of fantasy and reality. He heard Lex’s voice—he rolled to his side, and wished he could hear it again. He felt like he was drifting in clouds, warm clouds, soft, deep, cottony….
Lex was sitting on the floor of the cold little room, staring up at him. “I called your name. I kept calling it, it kept me from going insane.”
Clark didn’t stop to think what Lex was talking about. He sat down on the chilly floor next to him. It was so dark the corners of the room were invisible. Thankfully, it was just him and Lex, in an island of pale light and Lex’s face was crumpled in sorrow. Clark felt a sharp pain in his chest; he tried to speak and choked, “I’m so sorry you died. I miss you every day, every day…sometimes, when there’s no one around, I cry, thinking about you.” He stopped and with a wobbly laugh said, “I do that a lot…”
Lex’s mouth worked, he swallowed hard and Clark could see he was trying to maintain control. “I—I--”
The dream changed suddenly—Lex was sitting on a narrow cot, looking like he’d been beaten, and he was talking to some big blond Nazi.
“And I’ve been watching you and I’d like to know---why are you such an asshole?”
Before Clark could warn him, the Nazi punched Lex in the head. Lex’s head snapped back, hit the wall, and Clark screamed, stars burst bright white and blue behind his eyes, he felt pain--bone slamming against bone, as if the guy had hit him…when the bastard left, Lex rocked on the cot, and looked as if he were about to cry. But he pulled himself upright against the wall, spit a little blood onto the tiles, and laughed, low and shaky but still, a laugh. The handle on the thick steel door rattled and started to open and Lex tried to look defiant, but his eyes were huge and dark and terrified, and Clark felt as if he were staring straight at him—
“Clark!”
Clark shot upright, clutching the edge of the mattress. That had been so real, so real. It felt like Lex was right here, close enough to touch. He could still feel the impact, the feel of skin sliding over bone. The look in Lex’s eyes— so frightened. Clark shook himself. Bad. But thank god, not one of the really bad ones.
He zipped out and did the chores he had to do, at the fastest he was capable of. He long ago stopped thinking that what he did was virtually slave labor. He was sure his parents thought they gave him enough in return to demand it of him. He wouldn’t know. He didn’t speak to them unless he absolutely had to. Not after all the arguments, growing bigger and bigger until they ended in the fight that had raged all night long when in a moment of anger, he told them that he’d given Adam his secret. His dad had been so angry and Clark just didn’t get why—what he’d told Adam couldn’t hurt *them*, it wasn’t like they cared about him, not since Lex died. They hadn’t shared anything, hadn’t been a family….
Finished with his chores, he slouched into the kitchen, and got a glass of water.
His dad had called him a name. And his mother stood there, crying, and let him. The fury in his dad’s eyes had been replaced by shock, and then, regret—but if he hadn’t meant to call him that, if he hadn’t been thinking it all along, he would never had said it.
It was okay, it really was. In fact, it was better this way. To have it in the open, have it spoken aloud instead of hiding in the corners of every word they spoke, every look. Though to be honest, recently, when he thought about it, he got angrier and angrier.
It was stupid--they could handle the fact that he was an alien—but not that he might love another man? What was their damn logic? Because he *looked* like a man? How the hell did they even know this wasn’t right for—for—creatures like him?
Shit.
He snorted and drank down the rest of the water, rinsed and dried the glass and put it away. He didn’t want to be a burden on the Kents.
He went outside again, walking in the quiet dawn. He lingered by the cowsheds and watched the sun come up over the fields, and thought about his dream. It felt big. Something important was hiding in the corners of it. Didn’t matter really, it wasn’t like he could talk about it with anyone, not like he had a friend.
He jumped the fence, headed away, and he heard his mother call him. He didn’t stop. He walked through the corn field, avoiding the main road, walked through the little woods and over the bridge and past it. He walked past the front of the castle, and the air was already shimmering with heat. If he’d been human, the humidity would probably be weighing on him, but he wasn’t and it meant nothing to him.
He took a hidden path that lead to the back of the castle; a path worn through the head high grass and scrub that hadn’t existed while Lex lived.
The castle was empty of everyone but a caretaker, and showed more signs of neglect then the weed choked rear lawn. Adam kept it from falling down, maintained the basics, but the gardens around the perimeter were over grown, only the hardiest plants survived. It used to really affect him, that empty place. It was like an empty tooth socket—he had to keep coming back to it, poking, probing the feeling it gave him. There was unfinished business there.
He slipped between the bars at the fence, avoiding what security there was, and made his way through the back gardens. He opened a rear entrance and in a blur of motion, he was in Lex’s bedroom. He spent a lot of time there—he’d spent whole days lying on the dustsheet covered bed, just---staring. Thinking. He kind of thought of the room as his. And yeah, sometimes, he imagined that Lex was with him. On the bed, in the shower. He jerked off in the room sometime, with Lex in his mind….
Dust was thin in the room. He cleaned it from time to time. Once a month, housekeeping would go through the rooms, inspecting them, making sure that the structure was okay. They never seemed to notice the activity in that room. They never touched anything. What Lex had had there was still there. Clothes, jewelry, cologne, untouched, still in it’s place—cufflinks laid in a wood tray, and a yellowed invitation to a party long, long over, a vignette of a life he hadn’t known that he wanted to be part of. Adam walked out of this room and left it like a shrine, but Clark—he wanted to live in it, imagine Lex was coming back, any second, he’d be back….
Besides, in a way, the room was his, wasn’t it? He wasn’t really trespassing or intruding here if the castle was his, or would be soon. One more year, one more year and it was his. And fuck--he didn’t want it. He wanted Lex, not this dusty, falling down pile of stones. As soon as it was his, he’d sell it, and take the money and leave, go so far away no one would know him—where it made sense that no one cared about him.
*****
He was tossing and turning in his sleep. Lex kept him up, he was pacing, and mumbling and every so often he’d bend over and grab his face. When he turned, the harsh light made his face look blue tinged and drawn. He opened his mouth to scream and Clark saw with horror his teeth had been pulled.
He woke with a shout; sweat running down his face, and the ghost of pain in his jaws.
God…god…what did that *mean*? Why the hell would he dream something so weird? He got up from the bed and moved over to the open window. The moon was out, high in the sky. Curtains hung motionless, damp in the heavy humid air. He rubbed at his face, rubbed harder. How long had he been asleep? He let the curtains drop back over the window and walked back to the bed. He lay down, a little nervously, and hoped not to dream.
When he opened his eyes again, it was a little cooler—and he was looking into Adam’s face, his green eyes icy with anger, his red mouth twisted in a snarl.
“Clark. What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?”
“It’s mine,” Clark said, and Adam’s eyes went even colder.
“Not yet, it’s not.” He sniffed. “Shit, it smells in here, like mold—dust…” he glanced around the room and saw a small cooler, jugs of water in the corner. The dustsheets that should have been on the furniture were folded and stacked in a corner. “What the—are you camping in here?” Clark turned red and Adam snarled. “Your parents know you’re doing this?”
Clark looked away from Adam, out toward the window. “If I’m gone for a few days, they don’t say anything.” He looked up at Adam and smiled coldly. “No one does. No one looks, not for…something like me.”
“Yeah. Poor fucking you.” He looked around the room, Lex’s bedroom. It looked like Clark had been living there for much longer than a day or two, knew from the staff he’d been coming in and out of the place since the beginning of the summer. He really didn’t give a shit about that—but living here…that was…nuts. All of Lex’s shit was still there, untouched, unmoved, except for some picture of Lex he didn’t recognize. There was also a picture of him and Lex that came from some gossip magazine--Clark had carefully framed it.
He looked at the kid, sort of huddled and yet defiant on the bed, and he looked like…shit. He looked like kids on the street, the kind of look that you got from washing up at train station sinks, and eating whenever, whatever you could. What the fuck was going on…
“Clark, why the fuck aren’t you at home? This is Smallville—it’s not like your folks can’t find you, not like they don’t know where you are.”
“I don’t want them,” he growled. “They know to leave me alone. Besides, I don’t think they care where I am.”
“Yeah, some how I doubt that.” Adam couldn’t believe that the Kents would abandon their son—not like this. Even if he wasn’t really theirs, even if he was nonhuman, he couldn’t see them turning their backs on him.
Clark stared up at him, green eyes like emeralds in the black shadows smeared under them.
He felt a long suppressed stir of concern. “When was the last time you really slept, Clark?”
Clark jerked and shook his head. “I don’t need to sleep.”
This guy, so fucking, stupidly defiant…Adam flashed back to another kid who’d been so defiant, and scared, just like this….“Bullshit—everyone needs to sleep.”
“I’m not an everyone, I’m an every*thing*, remember?”
Adam took a step back. Clark looked almost as intense as the last time he’d seen him—the day he’d set his papers afire with his eyes. When he’d blamed him for Lex’s death. “Yeah, fuck that—you look like shit, you smell like gym socks. Tell me, damn it, when did you last sleep? Or eat?”
“I—I’m afraid to sleep. And I really don’t need as much sleep or…or food, as you do.” Clark’s defiant attitude collapsed like a deflating balloon. He looked exhausted, drained, and Adam’s heart went out to him. Shit—he was just a kid, no matter what else he was; he was also a tired kid at the end of his rope. Desperate. Lonely.
Adam sat next to him, and after a second, he let his hand fall in the space between his leg and Clark’s knee. Clark stiffened. “Tell me what’s going on, Clark.”
“Besides losing my family?” Clark fell back on the bed and sighed. “You’re not going to want to hear this…but I have to tell someone before I lose my mind—It’s Lex. I keep dreaming about Lex. And not nice little ‘oh gosh, I miss you’ dreams—not even sad dreams. They’re…fucking horrible. I’ve seen him tortured, sliced open, beat—I’ve seen him get his bones broken and set so they grow wrong—and then---then—his body fixes it and it’s so horrible.” Clark swallowed hard, and Adam looked at him. What the fuck—
“And—and once they pulled out all his teeth, and they cut him open and peeled his skin back and his ribs and—and put things in him, and took things out--”
Clark was green, he was breathing harder and clenching and unclenching his hands, and Adam laid his hand on his arm and it was hard as rock. “Clark—they’re just dreams. Just dreams.”
Clark nodded, and gulped before speaking. “I know. I know, but…they feel so real, more real than my life.” He closed his eyes.
Adam watched him and said, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I feel like it’s my fault you’re punishing yourself like this.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “So. *You* might not want to hear this but… I miss you.” He gave Clark a sardonic smile, derision aimed as usual at himself. “I’m kind of surprised how much.” He laid his hand on Clark’s chest, and Clark opened his eyes and laid his own hand over Adam’s.
“Yeah, well…it was an awful lot to ask of you, that you just accept it like that. I shouldn’t have tried to drop that crap in your lap. I should have known better. But I appreciate that you didn’t try to use it…”
Adam snorted. “Why should I? I don’t have friends, I was stupid to give up the only one I had…have.” He scowled at Clark. “Unless you’re going to hold a grudge. In which case, fuck you, I don’t need you.”
Clark laughed in surprise. “You’re the rudest, most ignorant and thoughtless person I’ve ever met.”
Adam laughed, a real laugh that rang like crystal being struck. Clark gaped at him.
“What, you thought I couldn’t laugh?” His hand was rubbing circles on Clark’s chest. When he sighed and relaxed a little against his hand, Adam felt a bit of tension easing in his own chest.
“No one’s touched me for a long time,” Clark said softly. His eyes were closed again, and he looked a little less pinched and starving. Adam leaned over and whispered, “I know. Me either.” His movement became more purposeful, broader sweeps, he felt Clark’s nipples warm, tighten under his palm, felt his chest rise and fall a little faster. His hand moved to the band of skin revealed by the thin t-shirt riding up. The skin was so warm, and smooth. Adam stopped and waited and Clark moved the hand a little lower, and his lips parted a bit. Adam took a deep breath, that little movement made him hard. “Clark…”
Clark licked his lip and Adam groaned to himself, he leaned over him, and touched his lips lightly to Clark’s. The heat of Clark’s mouth seemed to flow right to his dick, and in seconds he was so hard it hurt. Clark was breathing harder and harder, soft full lips trembling under his and Adam cupped him, feeling how hot and hard he was through his jeans. Clark jerked and cried out softly and suddenly, stiffened.
“I’m sorry-I’m sorry, I can’t.” Tears stood out in his eyes and he begged Adam to understand.
“Clark, Clark, stop—don’t apologize, I’m not trying to make you do something you don’t want, or you’re not ready for, okay? I understand that feeling, trust me.” He smiled grimly, and Clark’s pinched, worried look smoothed out some. “Stay here, if you want…it’s your place, use it any way you care to. But you’ll have to talk to your parents sometime, you know.”
Clark sighed and turned to his side, shifted until his back was pressed tight against Adam. “Can you stay while I sleep a little please, in case I have another…dream?”
Adam murmured assent, and when after a little bit, Clark drifted off, he watched him while he slept.
*******
“I think that it’s time to remove Alexander from the program. We’ve gotten everything we can get from him. This part of the Cadmus Project is finished, Mr. Hati. Reassign everyone involved.”
Mr. Hati grinned, and asked, “Then may I have him? I’ll clean up after myself, you know I always do.”
“No, not yet. I think…I think I’d like him in the desert. For a while. Let me explore an avenue that might be lucrative.”
Mr. Hati looked rather close to pouting. “What—ransom? Do you think his father would pay a ransom for him?” He looked doubtful. “He never seemed to exhibit any paternal interest in him before this.” He licked his lips, and murmured, “I would have kept him safe. I’d never let him be taken…”
The large blonde man stood and leaned on the railing where Mr. Hati stood, looking out over the skyline of a darkened city. In the distance, deep orange moonlight quivered on ocean waves. He inclined his head and the wet breeze swept the hair from his broad forehead. Mr. Hati thought he looked like a lion, wide shoulders taking up room, and even he found it hard to breathe standing next to him. The Patron sighed and rocked back on his heels.
“Actually, my boy, Alexander is of great interest to his father. He’s a…unique individual, is Alexander’s father. You know, once we were close as brothers.” He turned to Mr. Hati and smiled. “Or at least I thought we were. Get him ready for the journey. I’ll talk to you there. Oh, and you may feel free to enjoy Alexander. Within limits, my boy, within limits.”
*****
Lex looked up when Uniform Man walked into his cell. He tensed, expecting anything, but Uniform Man sat next to him and sighed, a little whisper of sound.
“Alexander, Alexander…” His too dry and too hot hand landed on the nape of his neck and squeezed. “Are you cold? You always look a little cold, your lips are always a little blue…” He leaned against Lex and Lex closed his eyes and hoped that his nightmares weren’t about to come true.
The man grabbed his arm and yanked it out, trapped it beneath his own, and ripped up Lex’s sleeve. Before Lex could react, he’d been stabbed—a needle sank into his arm and the man pumped something into his vein that burned like fire.
He jumped up and leaned over and grabbing Lex’s jaw in a grip like a vise, kissed him, hard and painfully—Lex felt his lip split inside his mouth, and blood poured over both their tongues. “Mmmm. I will see you in the desert, Alexander.” he said, and his voice slid down into an intimate scale that Lex felt in his gut. His head spun, and the lights got dimmer and dimmer and the last thing he was aware of was a voice whispering, “I think you’ll enjoy belonging to me.”
continued in part 4
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*shudder*
And poor Clark, dreaming about Lex's torture thinking they're just dreams.
Yikes.
I hope he can put the pieces together soon and save Lex!
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I'm glad Adam is feeling more sympathetic to Clark and doesn't hate him anymore.
I can't wait for your next update.
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Excellent update!
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Thank you!
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Your icon is gorgeous!!
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Jayzus, woman!!!
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suuuuuure.
well, okay. I know.
*hangs head*
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*wags tail*
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I hope Clark finds Lex soon.
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I love you, though!
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Poor Lex! I love that you keep him strong condescending even in the face of his horror. But I really am ready for it to end now. LOL But part of me knows that Lionel's upcoming participation ain't gonna be a good thing. Not to mention the fact that you're the one writing it and you love to torment us as much as them!! ;-)
And in my dream world, Clark would make it allll better sooner than later!
This is an amazing story and I can't wait for you to update, oh great purveyor of crack. *g*
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Soon, soon, all will be settled and concluded and then we'll all go to the seashore!
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I despise the Kents here. It's true that Clark could try to comunicate a little better with them, but he's a teenager and they are the adults and his parents, they are supposed to take care of him. They see that their son is lonely and hurting and they insult him! And Martha stands there and does nothing! Yes, I know you've written her OOC on purpose, but it hurts to see her act so uncaringly towards her child.
The part with Clark alone at the mansion left me speechless! Such a strong and touching piece of writing! The connection between Clark and Lex in dreams adds another wonderful element to this story. And the scene with Clark and Adam was brilliant! I'm glad Adam has been able to see himself reflected on the drained, neglected, lost and pained boy.
Excellent, outstanding update!
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here was the angry part, truly and pulse poundingly angry. Stupid Johnathan!
"It was stupid--they could handle the fact that he was an alien—but not that he might love another man? What was their damn logic? Because he *looked* like a man? How the hell did they even know this wasn’t right for—for—creatures like him? "
The happy happened soon after though, with Adam laughing. Yay. :) I felt warm fuzzlies.
And the sad... oh the end. Lex. This invisible watcher wishes she could just hold him so tight.
*HUGS* :)
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Yikes Roxy! That sick ass creepy dude has his sites set on Lex and I'm guessing it's for his sexual enjoyment or to get his jollies out of torturing him some more. Good god almighty! Lex is really calling out to Clark in this update. His pain and desperation has reached a spiritual level where Clark now feels him and sees him in his dreams; yet doesn't quite understand what he dreams is in fact reality. I am VERY intrigued how you plan on showing Clark's realization that Lex is still alive, and indeed suffering a great deal of pain on a daily basis.
GREAT Clark and Adam scene. I love Adam's anger at Clark upon discovering him in Lex's bedroom. And I love Clark's hopelessness and pitiful disposition. This passage really got to me...
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Yikes Roxy! That sick ass creepy dude has his sites set on Lex and I'm guessing it's for his sexual enjoyment or to get his jollies out of torturing him some more. Good god almighty! Lex is really calling out to Clark in this update. His pain and desperation has reached a spiritual level where Clark now feels him and sees him in his dreams; yet doesn't quite understand what he dreams is in fact reality. I am VERY intrigued how you plan on showing Clark's realization that Lex is still alive, and indeed suffering a great deal of pain on a daily basis.
GREAT Clark and Adam scene. I love Adam's anger at Clark upon discovering him in Lex's bedroom. And I love Clark's hopelessness and pitiful disposition. This passage really got to me...
<<Clark looked away from Adam, out toward the window. “If I’m gone for a few days, they don’t say anything.” He looked up at Adam and smiled coldly. “No one does. No one looks, not for…something like me.”>>
It showed the depths of Clark's sorrow...the loss of his parents' support (which I do not understand at all!), the loss of Lex, the loss of his one friend in Adam and the isolation he feels/the "alienness" he is realizing about himself. It seems he will never be free to be himself as he is shown rejection after rejection by the loved ones he chooses to share his innermost self with. Quite tragic, extremely sad.
I am hoping when he does find Lex, that he realizes the value of his uniqueness because it is that uniqueness that is starting to call out to him even now as he connects with Lex in his dreams.
Fabulous writing as always Roxy!
Love love!
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