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I Never
Things I have not done
I have not infiltrated a convent, carrying a big sack filled with porn and booze like the Anti-Santa.
I have not drugged a certain tall, dark haired actor and his clean shaven (all over!) co-star and posed them in suggestive positions, and did not take pictures, especially when they woke and thought it was their own idea.
I did not arrange for a certain CW pretty boy actor to lose the lease on his apartment so he'd have to room with a friend
I have never secretly wired a person's bedroom for sound under the guise of a being a friendly cable installer.
I personally do not believe in the power of suggestion
If I did I would not whisper into a microphone 'your co-star wants your ass but bad.'
I would not do it all night long every night.
I have not shoved old ladies out of line to get the last king-size package of Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
I have *never* stunned a kitten.
Imay have have never tasered a kid having a screaming fit in the toy aisle, nor felt any inclination to do so. Much.
I'd never claim to be house-keeping to enter a hotel room. That would be wrong.
I would never try to find out what hotel room a certain tall and oddly attractive actor might be sleeping in.
I don’t own a basket of cleaning products or bright yellow rubber gloves.
Imight own the world's only gas-powered vibrator have no idea what this 'Big Bertha' is you speak of—who, I meant who. And I'm sure Jaredthe young man will stop waking up screaming eventually.
I never once disguised myself as an Akita—whatever for? I also have never taken advantage of my resemblance to a pug to indulge in a little light kidnappingand if I did, I sent roses to Tom's therapist and of course to Thomas. Never happened
I never shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
I did not do it because I was really really bored and a little cranky that weekend either.
I have not infiltrated a convent, carrying a big sack filled with porn and booze like the Anti-Santa.
I have not drugged a certain tall, dark haired actor and his clean shaven (all over!) co-star and posed them in suggestive positions, and did not take pictures, especially when they woke and thought it was their own idea.
I did not arrange for a certain CW pretty boy actor to lose the lease on his apartment so he'd have to room with a friend
I have never secretly wired a person's bedroom for sound under the guise of a being a friendly cable installer.
I personally do not believe in the power of suggestion
If I did I would not whisper into a microphone 'your co-star wants your ass but bad.'
I would not do it all night long every night.
I have not shoved old ladies out of line to get the last king-size package of Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
I have *never* stunned a kitten.
I
I'd never claim to be house-keeping to enter a hotel room. That would be wrong.
I would never try to find out what hotel room a certain tall and oddly attractive actor might be sleeping in.
I don’t own a basket of cleaning products or bright yellow rubber gloves.
I
I never once disguised myself as an Akita—whatever for? I also have never taken advantage of my resemblance to a pug to indulge in a little light kidnapping
I never shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
I did not do it because I was really really bored and a little cranky that weekend either.
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You're going to burn down your computer chair, and I'll just shake my head.
*mwah*
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*HUGS*!!!
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*shudders*
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