*sigh*

[roxy]

Today, I had a very messy, loud, and wet breakdown on the phone, calling out from work. It was truly disgusting, filled with lots of hyperventilating and some snot. This comes from trying to work through a labyrinth of shit that I created by not being on top of my dad's stuff. It really sucks that I can't point at someone else and blame them for all the crap that I'm swimming through. Besides, I've already cursed myself out more times than anyone else could.

I spent the major part of the day on the phone and there might be some progress and I might get out of this almost okay. But I'm not taking a breath until I know for sure. One bright spot--I got a lot of reading done while holding for everyone and their granny and the bank was very patient with my loud, soggy outburst. I guess this is going to take a very long time to fix, and in the meantime, I can't let it rule me but fuck, it's hard for it not to.

Thanks, I had to get that off my chest. Wow, and yesterday was so nice. I kind of knew I was going to pay for it today. Ach, well, tomorrow's another day, yes?

The icon says it all. ;)

Comments

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

*ack* It sounds like Ben & Jerry's with two spoons is on the agenda. Just let me know the flavor.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, man...ice cream sprinkled with tranquilizers, can I get that? *GGG*
♥

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

Okay, open these babies up:



and you should have your wish.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!!!

*loves on you*

[aurora-bee.livejournal.com]

*Hugs*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG*

*cling*

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, hon (and, yikes, that image in your icon always slays me).

*cuddles*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

It'll pass but man, it's hard to slog through. I've got my fingers crossed that we'll get it sorted out tomorrow.

*leans*
♥

[orbiting-saturn.livejournal.com]

Aw, bb! I'm sorry things are tough for you right now. Sometimes you just need to really let it out. ::hugs::

This must be messy breakdown week because yesterday I did the same thing after I got a gentle letdown letter for a job application. I've been unemployed for over a year now and that was the first time I really broke down since I got laid off.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

If we were together, we could have shattered windows for miles around...this is a really tough year for everyone, I hope it gets better. *kicks 2012*

[suzvoy.livejournal.com]

*snuggles*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*clings like a howler monkey*

[rosy5000.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry today was such a bad and hard day for you. :( You know you can always come here to let it out though.

*lots and lots of hugs and love* ♥

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank god for you guys and I mean it right down to my toes.

*huggles*

[jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com]

Sorry today was hard and crappy and involved snot an tears.
Hope it gets better soon.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you love, I've got my fingers crossed. And my toes.

[nomango.livejournal.com]

{{Hugs}} - lots and lots of hugs. As a veteran of soggy breakdowns and red tape, I sincerely sympathise. Wish you better times soon x

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you a million times. It feels better to get a bit of it out, you know?

[sage]

*hugs and hugs*

Dealing with the estate of a loved one is one of the hardest, most emotional slogs there is. Please be gentle with yourself!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I had no idea, I really didn't. And then I thought that I *had* to do it on my own, that I was being weak for sniveling through it and stupid for not getting it...oy. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, geez!

*hughug* Thanks so much for the hugs, you know how much I appreciate it. ♥

[tabaqui]

Oh, bb. I wish i could help. If i can do *anything*....
You still have my number, right?
*hugs you tight*
*luffs*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Yes! Love you! I've started a million letters to you...I'll actually send one to you one day.

*BIGHUGEHUGSO'LOVE*

[tabaqui]

*hugs you back hard*
:)

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

OMG, your icon! It makes me water up and my little heart sing!

♥HUG♥

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

Aww, Roxy, I heart you so much. Take good care. ♥

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

My father and my father-in-law both died without leaving a will. Big fun for the executors. I'm sorry you have this mountain of shit to deal with, but it's good that the bank reps on the phone were kind to you. (They probably deal with the frustrated anger of the bereaved all the time. I tell you, after Gerry died, I acted like a crazy woman for about a year. It was all I could do to plod along a day at a time.)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I keep feeling like oh, I should be over all this and calm and collected but I keep springing leaks and being a total crazy woman myself. The other day, I sat in my bedroom and screamed so loud, I know the neighbors three houses down had to have heard me. All it did was make my hoarse for a day...**shrugs*

Honestly, I have no idea why this is so difficult for me. I wasn't this bad when my mom passed and she was my best friend in the whole world. Ah well. Tomorrow I hope to find out more about the sitch and then, then, I'm going to sleep all day long. *GG*

*big shmooshy hugs*

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

I was very calm when Mom died, and like you, I was really good friends with her. It was as if she was so much a part of me that I hadn't lost her completely. It's a different dynamic with a father, maybe. Not too long after mine died (out in Indiana), I was driving my car down a local highway here and suddenly started talking aloud to him as if he were in the passenger seat. Every once in a while that happens while I'm driving. It's been going on five years. There's no real time limit, I think, on grief, and each loss has felt different and worked out in individual ways. I have to keep reminding myself that it's ok still to feel it.

I hope you get that sleep! ((((Roxy))))

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* and *Hugs* to you.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Beloved, thank you so very much. ♥

[macaronielbow.livejournal.com]

Sending good thoughts your way...

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Awww, I *love* your icon. And thank you! ♥

[danceswithgary]

*hug*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*CLINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG*

[jlvsclrk.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much ♥

[dawnybee.livejournal.com]

This comes from trying to work through a labyrinth of shit that I created by not being on top of my dad's stuff. It really sucks that I can't point at someone else and blame them for all the crap that I'm swimming through

But remember, even Superman has backup so don't be afraid to ask for help from those around you. Every queen needs a court, lady.

I guess this is going to take a very long time to fix, and in the meantime, I can't let it rule me but fuck, it's hard for it not to.


I know. I know. The only thing we can do is roll and duck with life's punches and hopefully get a few TKOs of our own. But you'll be okay--it'll all be okay.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*clings*

Miss Dawnybee, can you come live with me?

*hugs you so hard* It took a lot, but I finally unbent my neck enough to ask the captain of our ship to help me slog through this crap. I just hate dumping stuff on him all the time. I don't even make breakfast for the poor man. Or lunch. Or dinner for that matter....dang. All I do is warm the bed. But I'm pretty good at it, mind you.

[lexalicious70.livejournal.com]

Aw hon. *HUGS* Hang in there! Much love to you.

<3 <3

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*leans against you like my bones are made of noodles*

so much love right back--thank you, beloved!

[tuckercat2.livejournal.com]

I send you HUGS!!!

and more HUGS!!!! Wish I could just be there for a shoulder for you.... you know to cry on. I know I wish for one when the shit hits the fan or the break downs happen(s)!!!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

oh you don't know--I suck up hugs like a sponge when I'm down. I love hugs, I need hugs!

*squishes you*

Thank you!!!

[ctbn60.livejournal.com]

Sorry honey I hope tomorrow is better for you!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, love! I really hope tomorrow will be the start of things clearing up!

[altimeterrise.livejournal.com]

"Red alert, sir! Stress triggered breakdown at the R-M-R site!"
"The R-M-R site?! Quick soldier, ship out the basket of kittens!"
"...even the one with holstein spots?" *wibbles*
"...oh all right, you can keep the *one*. But send the others out right away!"
"Yes, sir!"


...because fic is the answer to all of life's woes. Hope things start looking up! *hugs*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*FALLS DOWN LAUGHING*

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW--kittehs!!!

Thank you--I needed that laugh! *GGGG*

Hiya honey

[bonehed.livejournal.com]

Sorry to be late, but I am here to tell you it will get better. I know people always say that and sometimes things look bleak enough like it won't get brighter, but I have found myself coping easier lately.

The paperwork stuff is a major hurdle-no denying. Try to slog through that best you can and it will be as though an enormous weight has been taken off your shoulders (and your heart).

And you have friends far and wide across this earth that send their love and very best thoughts to you. I'm just one more in a long line.

XXOOOOO,
me

Re: Hiya honey

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you my dear. None of this would be half as bad if I hadn't screwed up so stupidly last year. Oy. Now I'm paying for it. But I have people who are trying to make it not as bad as it could be so I have fingers crossed!

I really appreciate all the good thoughts and the love people send--if I didn't have you guys to turn to when things get rough, I'd really be in some sorry-ass shape.

*HUGS* Thanks a million, million times!