Top? Bottom?

[roxy]

I sent a note to sillie82 recently, because of an interesting comment in a post of mine. I thought I should share my wondering with you,'cause I'm nice like that.

The issue was warning for top/bottom. Now me, I don’t get why it matters. I like switching the best, maybe I'm just greedy. In years past, I would have really gotten steamed about being asked to warn for who tops or bottoms. Nowadays, I sort of get that it's not my judgment to make, and for some people, it's *very* important. I'm working like hell to be more open to other folks—so I'm going to try and remember to tag for that stuff.

A question to you all.

I get how you label Top Dean(or top whoever). That means of course, that Dean is fucking various characters, not being fucked. So, how do you label it if there's non-penetrative sex, but one is clearly the aggressor, for lack of a better word? Would the person instigating the sex be the top? Does it even apply in a situation like that?

What do you think? What tags would you like to see that folks don’t use enough? What tags should people stop using? I vote "this is crap I don’t even know". I do—NONCLICKY.

Comments

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Well, it's not that I don't understand what a top and what a bottom is--it's very apparent. What I'm wondering is, is how does one categorize non-penetrative sex, or should we even bother trying to? I was curious because I wrote a story with traditional top/bottom scenes, but also frottage, involving the same characters.

eta: also, heeee! :D

[bubblesbrnaid]

This is why I write gen. Well, that and my overall innocence.

(Hey, I typed that with a straight face!)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, my word, I think you are famous for your innocence, are you not? I, as well! Innocent as the day is long!

[sylsdarkplace]

What I'm wondering is, is how does one categorize non-penetrative sex, or should we even bother trying to?

I think we should be asking ourselves why we think that there is always some kind of D/s power dynamic going on in every sex act. No, there isn't always a top. And even when there is, the person taking it up the ass isn't always the submissive player.