roxy | sv fic post: transference part 11

Title: Transference
Fandom: SV
Pairing: please…
Rating: PG

It's a very tiny bit, but I'm trying!
to refresh your memories, here are all the previous parts

Clark jogged slowly around the running path of the little park behind the high school and he worried. He thought about what he meant to say to Lois, wrote and rewrote it in his head, wanting to—to not hurt her, to explain it to her in a way she could understand… he ran, and worried about her reaction. He wasn't breaking up with *her*, just the relationship was taking a break--not even that—a breather, a--a—

God, he had better think of some useful term, some way to describe not breaking up-breaking up….he didn't want to lose her, but it was unfair to *her* to be so confused. He owed it to her to figure out what was what. He had to examine this weird connection to Lex—Liam. Solve it…understand it, because if he could understand it then maybe he could defuse it, he could go on with his life and Liam could go on with his.

As long as it wasn't with that jerk Ed. He really needed to let that guy go. Clark jogged a little faster. The guy was a jerk—Lex would have never given that asshole a second look. Lex had much better taste than that… Clark snorted angrily and jogged just a little faster. Heads turned his way, wide-eyed with astonishment, and he quickly slowed down again. Thinking about that man in any incarnation made him lose control.
He resolutely avoided meeting the other joggers eyes. He pasted on a carefree smile and walked the rest of the way back to his apartment.

*****
Clark showered, and dressed for a day of doing nothing much, sweats, bare feet and some band t-shirt he'd kept as a souvenir of that summer in Metropolis. He told himself the shirt was a reminder that anyone could make mistakes, go horribly wrong. But when he was being honest with himself, he knew the reason he'd kept the shirt was because it was a reminder of one night and an unbelievable blowjob that he'd gotten from the original owner of the t-shirt...a stranger with Lex's smile, his eyes. Looking down into them as he broke had been like a dream come to life…yeah, a real dream, in a stinking alley between dumpsters….

Clark shook himself. He squashed any thoughts about "then" ruthlessly, wandered into the kitchenette to make himself a sandwich, and think about what he was going to say to Lois that would let him live with himself.

*****
Came evening, and a short self-propelled flight later, and he was sitting at Lois' table, pouring wine, and complimenting her on her choice of take out food.

"Seriously Smallville, I know something's on your mind. You're wearing that 'I drank sour milk face'. I know something's got your panties in a knot. Spill."

"Lois…Lois, you know I love you. I'd never hurt you. Not purposely—or—or even by accident--"

She looked amused at first, then a little confused, and then…her face paled, her eyes widened for a moment, and then narrowed with a light like a laser in them. "You're fucking kidding me—you can't be serious. Wait, wait--stop right there. You think I haven't heard this same crap before—and from guys way richer than you? You think I don’t know what's next, you bastard-- 'Oh Lois, we're always going to be friends' and 'sorry, it’s not you it's me.' Well guess what—it *is* you—and I'm going to *kill* you." She jumped to her feet and leaned over the table and the little plastic fork in her hand actually looked threatening, or maybe it was the wild look in her eyes. Clark pulled back, and Lois growled at him. "What the fuck is going on, Clark Kent?"

"Lois, I don't want to lose you, I just. I just. Can’t…" he trailed off helplessly. "I need to…know."

"I knew it! I could *feel* it happening. It's that fucking guy, isn’t it! 'One time, Lois, one summer in Metropolis'" She mimicked Clark savagely and snapped," My ass! You want out so you can fuck that Luthor with a clear conscious. Well, I've got news for you—you leave, and you're not coming back here. I'm not waiting for you to—to get it out of your system! I respect myself more than that. You run around all you want, but I'm not your fall back position." She threw the little fork down. "God damn those Luthors! I hate them—no, I hate *you*--"

Clark panicked silently--she knew? How did she know—he swallowed hard. "Lois…how…how did you know about--?"

"Oh, I knew that bastard would get to you. What the fuck is it with you and Luthors anyway? Shit, you'd have to be blind not to see what Lucas wanted. All that crap—setting you up to write, to talk to that cousin…he just wanted you alone so he could seduce you. I should have *known* you'd be weak-minded enough to let him talk you into it. Look at all that crap you let that skinny little witch pull on you!"

Relief filled Clark, and on its heels a wave of fresh guilt. She was starting to cry. Clark desperately wanted to be—anywhere not there. "Fuck you, Clark Kent, fuck you!"

"Lois, I swear, I never meant to hurt you—I don’t want to! I'll. I won’t, I don’t even know if he wants me back—I--oh shit." He felt like he was being gutted from the inside out. He felt horrible, filled with stupidity layered on top of the guilt….

Hurting people. He was awfully good at that. "I'm sorry, I mean it. I won't—I promise--"

Lois threw the food at him, and he stood still, let noodles and sauce drip into his collar, slide down his shirt…"Get the fuck out. *Leave*!" She whirled, snatched his jacket off the couch and threw it at him too; she pushed him towards the door, and slammed it hard behind him. He tried to block the sound of her crying….

He felt like crap. He loved Lois, he really did. He loved talking to her, working with her, he loved her sarcasm, her sharp mind…he loved all the parts of her that reminded him of Lex.

Shit. Shit.

He felt the cold like never before as he flew back to Turnersville, keeping high above the clouds at the edge of the sky where the stars were always shining. He felt horrible that his main thought was not of Lois, but of Liam, and how much he'd love to see this….

tbc--

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thank God that Clark finally realizes that the parts of Lois that remind him of Lex are what made him drawn to her!

I'm not a bit sorry for Lois. That crack about "richer than you" just proves she's not good enough for Clark.

Now it's up to Clark to prove he's good enough for Lex.

Thanks so much for reading!

Aw, poor Lois! She did the best with what she had.

ok, this is the most unique clexfic I've read in a long time and I'm loving it!
Cannot WAIT for more!!

I like your characterisation of Lucas, and your Lois is fabulous! Couldn't help but feel sorry for her here, but even in the midst of breaking up she got the story - the REAL reason. brilliant!

And I like the idea of Jerry too; can't wait to see where that goes! I have to admit that at first I thought this was an AU with Lex as CLARK'S teacher (I thought Jerry was Clark), but this made for a really interesting twist.

Oh, thanks so much for reading--and for liking Lois! Yeah, she was right about Clark and Luthors *G*

Here's hoping I get the words together for an update soonish!

It may have been tiny, but pivotal, Clark making the break to try with Liam. Yes!

*frowns* Enough with the unhappy endings for CLex, okay? you're not going to break my heart again like you did with that Whitney shit? *crosses fingers*

Again I'm accused of unhappy endings! It's enough to give a girl a complex! But no worries, this is a Clex story 100%!

Okay, I believe you.

*retracts harsh remark about Whitney story because it was really good, even hated to admit it*

*pets and consoles poor Whitney*

He gets no love, no respect, and he was stuck with LANA! :( He deserves some happiness. ;)

lol!! It was a sad Clex ending, hunh?
dang--you know, I do do that kind of thing a lot...most of my stories end unhappily--I just change the endings before I post them, lol!
*is evol...or maybe just kinda weird*

Ouch. That was a painful breakup. But I'm always glad to see another bit of this story.

oh thank you so much! this is a difficult one, no doubt.

clark's attempt to promise not to try with liam in order to placate lois was painful to read. it's so common to react like that to someone else's pain, when we're the cause of it. i'm glad she had the self-respect to kick him out, because a clean break's easier in the end than caving in and suffering as the relationship dies.

Thanks so much for reading!

i'm glad she had the self-respect to kick him out,

Oh thank you, yes! I really felt a lot of sympathy towards Lois. She's not the kind to take crap of any sort. And Clark would so be the guy to pointlessly try harder, because he can't stand to see people he cares about in pain.

I'm really happy that Clark did this. YAY Clark! I love that he doesn't like Ed. lol. And, I also love that he's thinking of Liam as he's flying. Thank you for the wonderful update! :-D

Oh, thank you so much for reading!

It may have been a small part, but you sure did pack a lot in there!

I kinda feel bad for Lois, but would she rather Clark be with her and him constantly wondering, or break it off now? And Clark realized why he loved Lois... she reminded him of Lex in ways.

oh, thank you so much lovey!
I really do like the Lois in my mind--I feel myself softening towards her in a lot of ways. (I like SV Lois better, I like comics Lois better than I ever have...but still--hey! OTPs rule.)

She's smart and confident, that's why she gives Clark the boot--she's too good to be someone's second best. Besides, she's self-centered, she'll recover quickly. :)

Say, beautiful icon!

*grins* Isn't it?

tyffi made it for me. :D

I'm not a big Lois fan but good for her for saying she wouldn't tolerate his wishy-washy shit and kicking him out.

Now, Clark just needs to get himself together and go reclaim his man!

Heck yeah!! :)

As soon as I can figure out how....

I don't like Lois at all on SV, but I couldn't help sympathizing with her here, even though I'm a total OTP CLexer. Still, she'll survive, and now Clark can go save Lex/Liam from that jerk Ed! *g*

Exactly! And thank you--I wanted folks to feel sympathy for her, but I didn't want her to seem pathetic.

Go Clark! :-)

Thank you love!
Say, do you want a sneak peek at what I'm *trying* to work on? It's not more than a few sentences and real rough but I owe you!

I don’t mind having a sneak peek, though I’m going away for two days, so unless you reply before I leave, I won’t see it before Monday night. ;-)

Sounds good! I'll send it along! :)

*hugs lois*
god, you made me feel sorry of her ...

Ahhhhhhhh.....you have no idea how happy that makes me.... :)

I just started reading this story again and realized just why I love it. Seriously it had me guessing as to how Liam was Lex and such but now ... I feel so sorry for Lex, he just had to make decisions with what he what knowledge he had. They of course weren't the best ones but when I read over the part about the clone and 'why Father?' It choked me up a bit, I just saw that so well.
I never really did like Lois for Clark, even in the comics she was always the more self serving person then one to be there for Clark, which is how I see Lex and Clark.
I just hope the guys can get through all of their lifetime of baggage and give each other a chance to be happy together.
(Hope that last part made sense, I really shouldn't post to journals so late at night. sheesh)

Oh yes, perfect sense, lol!

just hope the guys can get through all of their lifetime of baggage and give each other a chance to be happy together.

That's it--they need to give each other a chance. They deserve it. *g*
Thanks so much for reading!

sv fic post: transference part 11

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject