roxy | Weird Stories

Weird Stories

There are two amazing stories that I just can't read, though I plan to pull up my socks and read one of them, because when I left it, it was just getting, well, really horrible but I'm hoping it's going towards a better place. The story has a really amazing, well written young Sam who breaks my heart with how brave and how kind he manages to be under the most horrific circumstances. It's gone on quite a bit since I stepped back—I can a terrible wuss, my goodness, but really, I *swear*! I'm going to start reading it again because I miss this really well thought out bit of world-building and excellent characterization. It's by

brosedshield and

lavinialavender and it's called Freak Camp: A Monster By Any Other Name

The other one, I swear, I can't read it. It's very well known, Suite!verse by leonidaslion. It's astronomically triggering for me and I don't even know why. Reading it makes me break out in a sweat and my stomach cramp and I cringe for days after I read it. Or used to read it, I had to stop. I occasionally skim new installments to see if Dean has managed to kill himself yet because that would be a happy ending in my book. Seriously, that thing tips me into a depression that's ridiculous, and yet, I've read a ton of her stuff and not had it bother me like this one—in fact enjoyed it very much and recced stories to friends. I even tried writing my own Evil!Sam to see if I could kind of water down my reactions to this one but no dice. I just can't look into something that horrible and not want to reduce it to manageable bits, hah!

I wonder why these particular stories are too much for me. A few others have come close, but the writers have been kind enough to do a little hand holding for me and when I pushed myself I found that it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be but man….

Do you have stories that you admire but can't read because of subject matter? I'm not talking about fic that's so…shall we say, rare…that it's unreadable; I mean good solid stories that are just emotionally overwhelming for you.

Let's see if LJ let's us answer each other.
Unrelated, I owe an answer to

chemm80, who asked my opinion about Sir, and yes, I have thinky thoughts about Papa Winchester! Coming soon as I get them all together. ;)

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A Monster By Any Other Name has started its second book. If you start there you should be okay. m :)

I saw that the second book started and the writers assured me that it would be okay but I'm kinda anal so I have to read from where I left off, lol! I have it open right this minute and I'm about to start rereading--wish me...not luck, um...balls? *GRIN*

in the SV fandom, there's a story that i love and reread from time to time precisely because it is triggering: rageprufrock's "Yellow Means Slow." it's so sad but so lyrical that i cry and cry, and i even wrote her to tell her why it affects me like that. she was lovely about it.

if i confess to you that i couldn't read your firebird story, will you hate me? i started it several times but couldn't get past the early chapters. it was too painful. not sure why, when i really liked The Dog, which was incredibly violent. sometimes it's impossible to figure out all the strange pockets in our psyches.

Those SV writers back in the day where all freaking amazing--loads and loads of ridiculous talent.

I can easily understand that you couldn't read Firebird. None of those people were nice people, and I don't think that the mistreatment they got from the world justified the way they acted at all. I can tell you, there wasn't a moment that any of them felt the slightest regret for what they did. I think The Dog's characters were much more sympathetic even though they were very violent.

It's true--these little blips in our psyches pop up at the oddest times, and can be really unsettling, even frightening. :)

>I can tell you, there wasn't a moment that any of them felt the slightest regret for what they did.

ah, all right, that's no doubt what got me all hung up. there has to be some kind of justice or at least regret for the horror, or i can't take the horror at all!

there has to be some kind of justice or at least regret for the horror, or i can't take the horror at all!

I completely agree with you! If I hadn't written the story myself, I don't think I could have read it either. There were parts where I winced myself, but it seemed to be right for the characters and situations. Plus? It was kind of fun to let loose and be horrible! I remember asking different folks if I was going too far, lol! I was so nervous about being so bad--ah, the good old days.

Hi Paul Gross! You're a very handsome man! *GGG*

helloooo, roxy (sez nekked paul). :D

LOL! Weeeeell, hellooooooo Paul! ;)

There's not a lot that I can't read, but there are some things that get a physical reaction from me, that gut-deep discomfort that has me cringing for days afterwards. Pretty much all Wincest written by

ebolacrisis simply because it's written the way incest actually occurs in real life and doesn't romanticize it.

And then there was Last Angel on Earth by

starkraves that I thought about for days and days and got a little nauseous every time. It's D/C, non-con, beautifully written but HORRIBLE content.

I've read both of the stories you mentioned here, or I guess you could say I'm still reading them. They are good stories, well-written, and yeah, they make me all squirmy with discomfort, BUT- They are too long! It feels like the authors are almost drawing out the stories unnecessarily to torture the readers and make them feel like there will never be a conclusion. Nothing against them or anything, I know a lot of people like things drawn out for maximum suspense, but not me. I only keep reading because once I start something I have to finish it.

Funny what you say about drawing a story out--that's like my biggest worry in my own fics. There have been quite a few that I've tried to rush to a close--I mean, really--56 chapters? But no matter what I did, the ending just didn't feel right. I agree to a certain extent about the Suite'verse story. I'm not sure what the point of drawing that torturous stuff out is. Bright Lights, on the other hand, made sense to be so long--there were major changes going on and I appreciated the chance to absorb them. On the other other hand, while it hit my aversion to humiliation button rather hard and frequently, it never made me pray that the main character suicide, either.

I don't think I've read either of those writers and now, I'm afraid to! :)

I know you read at least one of

ebolacrisis's fics because I saw a comment by you. :)

Bright Lights broke my freaking heart!! And it was too long. Although, I think my biggest complaint about that story was how much I hated Sam. At least in the Suite 'Verse he has the excuse of being evil. I think my favorite of her series' is "Phthonus", but that one is unfinished. :(

You're *right*--I'm a nosy thing and went to check and I did comment! I guess I've read so much stuff I don't know where I've been anymore!

Poor Sam, he was such a selfish idiot in Bright Lights, but I tend to think of Sam as terribly selfish anyway. Though I guess the same could be said of Dean....

I suspect that unless she said she wasn't updating that fic, it will be updated at AO3 which is a lovely place to read fic. :)

Two stories i cannot and will not read. I loathe it when the evil!brother is actually evil enough to make the other one want to die, gah, and i kept dipping into the 'Monster' one hoping for story but it seemed all i got was torture and so, yeah, no.

Same reaction to 'Monster' you have to 'Suite' - makes me ill. I remember when it seemed there was a 'trend' for fic like that in the Buffy 'verse and how very much i loathed it.

*smishes you*

Monster didn't have the same effect on me as on you--or as the Suite'verse does. I know it seems like unremitting torture but I didn't see it as gratuitous, not like those stories in BtVS--I remember some of those. They were problematic so far as characterization went, and motivations and--*stuff*! I don't mind angst, in fact, I love a good angsty story, but at some point, there needs to be promise of an end to torture because it's canon. :)

It just seemed like every time i clicked on Monster and started reading, it was Sam in the camp being tortured/abused. *Every time*. I kept waiting for Dean to be there and....he never was. I just...couldn't do it.

And Sam and Dean not together stories really suck, for me - i don't like that trope, and hardly ever read a story with that as the theme.

And all the 'torture Spike with the chip' stories really got to me, too.
*shudder*
*clings to you*

*hugs you*
Fanfiction can be a real jungle, beloved!

I see you read

fleshflutter's BB--that was quite a ride--very smart, I thought, and an interesting take on the Vampire Dean thing. I rally enjoyed that one!

The BB is winding down now, no? The lastest group of postings have been J2s that have a lot of heart but need a bit more experience.

Yes it can!!
*clings to you and wields machete*

I did enjoy that BB quite a bit! I haven't had any that really *jumped* out at me this go-round. There were quite a few that seemed to be movie retakes which didn't interest me, and a few too many uber-angsty ones. I love a good, long fic but i'm not up for too much angst right now, heh.

Picky me! I'm still sloooooooowly making my way though dozens of bookmarks i made when i was too sick to sit here for more than fifteen minutes at a time. So much to read, so little time! :)

I've found a lot of the Jared and Jensen BB's this year a bit uninspiring to be totally honest because so many of them see to be pure love stories of how Jared and Jensen meet and fall in love in a book store or something (random example). And nothing against those stories, which obviously work for many people, but when I'm reading fan fic I do want something a bit more angsty and dramatic. I feel like I could read the more typical romantic stuff in a book store y'know, I look for something a little different with my fan fic *g*

Plus I find the movie ones kind of boring if I'm familiar with the source. I was interested in the re-telling of Sleepers at first, but then after a while certain plot points start to feel so familiar that it all felt a bit samey

And sorry to butt in! :P

Edited 2011-07-31 11:26 (UTC)

I don't mind the "true love in a bookstore" stories that much, as long as they're interesting, and I'm like you--I like my angst and drama served up with a happy ending. Or at least if it's angst free, be so well written that I don't miss it. :)
Oh, don't say that about the movie adaptations--I love those, lol! The good thing is, I hardly ever see the movies the fics are based on so it's all brand new to me, lol!

Well I do like them more if I haven't seen the movie LOL but, if I have, then half the time it feels kind of pointless unless the writer just uses the source material quite vaguely and goes in a very different direction. If it's an exact retelling, with just a few details changed to fit in with SPN, then meh

And I don't mind the happy romantic fics exactly, but those summaries don't really jump out at me either, or tend to be the fan fics I love to read over and over again. I need more hardcore drama in my fan fic :D I guess I prefer the really intense love in fics with Sam learning to love demon Dean or something, now that was a kickass fic

fics with Sam learning to love demon Dean or something, now that was a kickass fic

Omg, YES!!! Fade To Black? Now that fic was just my flavor!

Yes, and the sequel giving them their happy ending :dances: See that's the kind of fic I could read over and over, as opposed to stories of regular guys meeting up and falling in love. They tend to leave me more feeling Hmm that was okay/pretty cool, but don't really get the same obsessive love from me

I guess I prefer SPN fic over Jared and Jensen fic, but the trend these past few years seems to be less for SPN unfortunately.

I guess I prefer SPN fic over Jared and Jensen fic, but the trend these past few years seems to be less for SPN unfortunately.

I feel that too--the BB seems to have many more J2s than Sam/Dean stories. I think the SpN stories are harder to write? I mean, you can't just plug S/D into a movie or book adaptation. And if it's a story of any length, there's got to be a damn good reason for it. The newest post with Fleshflutter's entry, I'm pretty sure you'd like. :) And speaking of angst, I hope you're on board to read my SVBB. Not as much angst as we like, but close. ;)

I definitely will read Fleshflutter's, I LOVE her fic! I've fallen behind a bit on the BB's lately, so I need to catch up now I have some time off work. And yeah that makes sense, I can see how the movie fics would be easier as well as someone else has basically already written out the plot for you...

And I will check yours out when you post it of course ;)

I know what you mean about Suite!verse. Confession time is that I was/am really into it as it described Sam's descent, and early on when he was trying to convince Dean to love him again etc. But recent chapters have had the psychological torture of Dean become so extreme that it's practically impossible to find any redeeming qualities in Sam, or believe that he still loves his brother at all. And I remember one chaper had a tattoo or something (forgive me if I'm not getting the details exact, it's been a while!) where Dean was opening himself up to past memories of Sam and it seemed like a real turning point. Plus the hints of Casiel and angels coming to the rescue were there quite a while back as well.

But then in more recent chapers Dean lost the tattoo and Sam became more irredeemable than ever, so that it does start to feel like nothing is really progressing and they've going to be caught up in this depressing cycle for ever. I guess that it's harder with really long multi-chapter fic like that to not start to feel a bit gratuitous with the torture after a while...

I've been meaning to check out the other fic, but I've been thinking about waiting until all the chapters are complete first

Edited 2011-07-31 11:34 (UTC)

I read--or actually skimmed--the last few updates because I thought that hope was coming for Dean but it seems not. I have checked out on Sam. I can't really talk in depth about this series, I've only ever dipped in and out of it, because it's too nerve-wracking for me. I've read almost everything *else* she's written because I enjoy the way she writes--she's written some of my favorite SpN stories, but man, reading that series is an act of masochism!

Freak Camp updates pretty regularly and they seem to have a definite end in mind and I'm thinking it's going to be upbeat. You know me and the happy ending! ;)

Never read the first one, so thanks for the rec. Second just updated, I saw, so, yeah, I'll have to go back to that one again sometime soon. Surprisingly not very triggery for me, or it is in such a way that I get a sick, masochistic thrill from it. That happens quite a bit for me with fanfic, especially slash, because authors love the non-con, and every one out of ten fics has some form or hint of child molestation. We are a sick bunch.

Also, hiya! I missed you. Did you miss me, Snuggles? XD

omg, yes! I missed you so much!!!!!!! I was thinking about you today so this makes me very very happy!! :)

I think what's triggery for me is the unrelenting torture for Dean. Not for a minute do I feel that that Sam has anything in him but the desire to twist Dean into something brainless. I just get this slowly escalating feeling of suffocation and frustration and the desire to kill reading that darn thing. I'm rooting for Dean to find some way to end himself--or Sam. I know I write some creepy ass shit too, but hey--there's love there, y'know! *blushhiddesface*

Hey there. Cool post. I have two I can think of off the top of my head. Hoperoy has one I've never been able to read, although I've skimmed it, called Yesterday's Tomorrow, or something like that. The second one is actually one of yours, called Dog. I can't get past the scene where Lionel comes to take Clark from the Kents. You wrote it so well and so powerfully that it brings me to tears. By the time Martha is trying to put on a brave face for Clark, I have to stop. I'm getting misty-eyed just typing this out right now.

I'd have been fine if I'd read it before I had kids, but since I didn't even discover fantoms existed online until I was on maternity leave...so, yeah. I've become a complete wimp about things like that. There is stuff in the SpN fandom I stay away from, too, but I can't think of specific titles.

omgosh, yes! That story--I couldn't read it! It was too much for me, too! I guess I'm more of a wuss than I'd thought! SV had a lot of stories like that, though, when I think about it. Tragic, sad fics...hunh!

Oh no! *HUG* The Dog is a rough story in a lot of ways. I put a lot of my own fears in that bit. I could never have written something like that if my baby was still actually a baby.

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