Summer Story part 15
12/7/04 11:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyWow! Anyone remember this little puppy? It's been a while, and I'm sorry about that, but I needed some thinking time and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fromward helped me clarify a few points in my creaky old brain, thank you so much, lovey! I still need much thinking time with it,but I think this bit's okay so I'm dropping it now--I'm all excited about the next part and I'm so excited I've blocked myself--ever happen to anyone else? Or am I just a nutcase? Hey! I heard that!!
Previous Parts are here, sitting in the back of the movies and humming the theme from Pee-Wee's Playhouse and ...eeeeeewwwww!!!
Summer Story
When they were once again in the loft, Whit lay on his back on the bed, groaning quietly and sweating. He didn’t know what happened, what they’d done to him. It was like coming down from too much shit. He wanted Wade in the room with him. He didn’t want to be alone, and he was cold, shaking and miserable.
Wade must have thought he’d be thrilled with that trick, but he was scared—scared shitless. His world was spinning apart and doing it so horribly slow, like the truck coming at them on the road.
Fuck! How long were the Ross’ going to be willing to put up with this shit? It was killing him the way they looked at him. And every day that brought the wedding closer felt like a stab to the heart. And then Wade—Jesus. He was just another knife in his heart.
As if on cue Wade came in from the other room and shut the door.
“Take your clothes off, okay?” He began to pull his shirt off. He stopped and frowned when Whit didn’t immediately strip off. “Come on, god damn it, I don’t have all fucking night. Strip.”
Whit shivered, and waves of heat and cold swept over him.
“Please Wade, I – I don’t feel good.”
Wade looked at him blankly and walked out of the room. “Be undressed when I get back. And don’t puke in the bed.”
Whit pulled his clothes off, shivering and moaning each time he moved too fast and it made his stomach flip. Finally he sat naked on the edge of the bed, trembling, his arms wrapped tightly about himself. Just when he thought, I’m crazy, let me get dressed and go home, Wade came back. He had a cup of something steaming in his hand, and a couple of pills.
“Here, take this and shut the fuck up, pussy.”
He pushed the cup into Whit’s trembling hand, shoved the pills between his lips.
“Swallow.” Whit obeyed, and gasped when the tea hit his stomach, and warmth spread out through his body.
“Better?” Wade eyed him critically. At Whit’s nod, he told him to lie down and stripped down to his boxers, lay down next to him. Whit shivered again and Wade rolled against him, warming him.
“This what you’re going through, it happens sometimes. You’re having a reaction to the ink. It’s okay, it won’t kill you. I will though if you throw up on me.”
Whit laughed a little and his too tight muscles loosened. This was different, kind of nice…almost--a cuddle, though he was careful not to move too much. And then Wade stroked his arms, and his neck, and pulled his head closer. Whit instantly started to slide down but Wade stopped him with a hand under his chin.
“No—just this,” he said, “Just keeping you warm.”—Whit was so startled he almost pulled away.
“See-- I can take care of you. You don’t need anyone else. When we’re finished here, you and me--it’ll just be you and me.” He pulled Whit against him, flipped the blanket over them both and after awhile he slept, and a little bit after that, Whit slept, and they slept together for a long while, Whit with his legs drawn up and a frown on his face, Wade with his arm about Whit’s waist and a hand locked around his wrist.
********
By the time Spring arrived, months had passed in relative quiet, Whit saw less of Wade, who said he was working on something that would set him up for life, and wouldn’t tell him more than that. “When the time’s right I’ll let you know, okay? Don’t worry about it ‘til then.” He wouldn’t talk about it.
Whit knew the string of small time robberies in Smallville and neighboring communities were Wade and his buddies, and he felt weighed down and ancient with the knowledge. He was so damn tired, so damn tired all the time and he was fucking sick of lying all the time.
He yanked his jacket shut against the wet cold air and crammed his fists into the pockets. Spring might have arrived again but winter wasn’t letting go its grip easily. He was icy outside and in and feeling like he was never going to be warm again.
He looked up to see the guys were heading his way, and sighed gustily. Time to be ‘on.’ Time to be Happy Whit. He forced his feelings down and prepared to play the ‘I’m Just Fine’ game.
Pete reached him first. “Hey Whit! I’ve been looking for you. We’re going to the movies tonight, you coming?” He smiled wide and for a moment Whit was angry at how clueless Pete was. Couldn’t he see that this life was falling apart day by day? Insensitive ass---
“Oh hell yeah, I’d just love to be the fifth wheel for you guys.” he sneered and Pete’s face fell. Damn—what did I do that for? He opened his mouth to apologize to Pete when Lex broke in.
“Well maybe if you’d look around you wouldn’t be wheel-less.” Lex snapped, angry that Whit hurt Pete’s feelings. A gust of wind blew the scarf he had on around his neck and Clark pulled it back into place. He raised an eyebrow at Lex. Wheel less? he mouthed.
“Shut up,” Lex snarled. He bat Clark’s hand away and focused on Whit again. “You *know* what I mean. Only an idiot keeps rebuilding the crap he got out of. Can’t you see he’s going to drag all the life out of you, just like your dad tried to?”
“You know what Lex, how about you shut the fuck up!” Whit yelled at Lex. “I’m sick and tired of you judging me, all of you judging me!”
Pete and Clark gaped at Whit and Lex in turn. What in the hell, Clark thought...where was this coming from? “Whit--” he began, and Whit burst out, “Why don’t you just leave me alone, okay, Mr. I’ve Got It All. Just leave me the fuck alone!” Whit turned and sprinted down the street.
Clark rounded on Lex. “Lex! What in the heck brought that on? Whit’s come so far—he’s not seeing that jerk anymore. He’s working hard to keep it together and then you accuse him of throwing it all away?”
Lex looked angry and hurt, and he yelled back, “Clark, how can you be so blind? He’s lying to us. He has seen him, he saw him all summer long—he’s probably still seeing him. He’s lying, you understand? To us! I—I can’t deal with that.” He turned away from Clark, his arms tightly crossed over his chest and went on quietly. “He’s supposed to be our friend—supposed to trust us.”
Clark understood what was upsetting Lex. Whit held something back from him, Whit, who was his friend and always honest with Lex, hid from him and in Lex’s mind that was as good as lying---and people who loved him didn’t lie to him.
And there in a nutshell was the reason he hadn’t told Lex about himself. He didn’t even know how to approach the subject. It scared him whenever he thought about telling Lex because he had no idea how he’d react. Would he be angry and think he’d lied all these years, because he didn’t share this with him? Would he be repulsed because he wasn’t--human? Or would he change in Lex’s eyes from friend to curiosity, something to be broken apart and figured out, maybe a peace offering to his dad?
Clark horrified himself with his thoughts. No, no, no. He should know better than that. Lex would *never* go that far in trying to get some kind of respect from his dad. He’d never do that to Clark. Never.
He studied the fierce face in front of him and the ice that’d crept into him melted.
He looked so unforgiving. As always, covering his hurt with a show of anger. And he knew that Lex hurt was an unpredictable being—he sighed, his forehead creased with worry, and Lex looked at him and exhaled sharply, impatiently.
“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him later. I’m not mad so much as disappointed. God. He just drives me crazy. Poor idiot.”
Pete echoed Clark’s sigh. “That guy. It’s like Dad keeps saying. He just won’t realize he can relax. He just doesn’t know how, I guess. Man. Your parents can really screw you up hunh?” He shook his head sadly and the boys walked on, a much more subdued group now, each of them caught up in their own thoughts.
Clark trailed them a bit, his eyes on Lex slight figure.
So thin, so small to carry so much weight Clark thought. It’ll be okay though. I’ll be there to help. Whether he wants help or not. He loved him like breathing, but that was one stubborn man, and way too proud. And a little vain…and short-tempered. Ah well-- when it came to Lex’s ego, he had no delusions, but he was more than willing to stroke it.
And blushed bright red at the images that rose in his mind…stroke. Oh gosh.
********
Time spun out so slowly or so it seemed. The days were longer again, the weather warmer and dry and breezy. The kind of days that required you to be out and about, so they were lounging around the Kent porch. Clark sat on the stair next to Lex and tried not to touch him too much, but he looked particularly cute this afternoon, with his jeans and t-shirt and it was nice to see him dressed just—average. Even if the jeans did cost what more than every single thing Whit and Pete and he were wearing right down to the boxers--
He leaned over and kissed Lex on the top of his smooth head and Pete sucked his teeth and flared his nostrils and Clark laughed.
Lex rolled his head toward Pete. “What Pete? Something wrong?” He stretched out and yawned and ended up with an arm wrapped around Clark’s neck.
Pete rolled his eyes and pointed at the two. “I love you guys, but hey—love only goes so far. I don’t scmooch my sweetie in front of you and you don’t –smooch yours in front of me, deal?” He folded his arms and scowled at them, trying to look ferocious and succeeded mostly in looking like an offended teddy bear.
“Sure Pete” Clark said brightly and muttered under his breath, “You giant homophobe.”
“Hey! I heard that—I am not! I just –just don’t want to see you guys kissing, geez, crucify me why don’t you….” Pete looked at Clark out of the corner of his eye and worried that maybe Clark meant it and he did know he’d just been kidding right?
Whit broke in, “Hey, don’t sweat it Pete, I don’t want to see them kissing either. Big fairies.” He made a disgusted face and went back to his magazine.
Clark sat a moment and spoke in a voice filled with deep revelation, “That’s ‘cause you’re jealous. Hey! Maybe Pete’s jealous too!”
Lex nodded in agreement, and grinned.
He turned his head to Pete who was looking thoughtful. “Do you think I am…could I be jealous? Hmmm—No.” and Pete settled back with the air of having given the perfect argument.
Lex laughed and leaned back against Clark’s legs. “Nice. Nice day. And Dad’s gone for the weekend so I’m feeling pretty good.”
“Great! Then you can stay at my house.” Clark looked happy and Lex smiled. His boyfriend, a simple man of simple joys. He snickered and Clark whacked him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re laughing at me—stop.” He said fondly.
Lex laughed harder. He felt good, better than.
He waited until Pete looked away and pulled Clark closer to him and kissed him.
“Ew. I heard that.”
Whit laughed,”If you think it sounds ew, you should see the look on Kent’s face. Hey, Clark do you have any brain cells left?”
Clark just flushed and grinned and Lex thought again—much better than.
TBC--and sooner than this I hope!
ETA:oopsies!
fromward helped me clarify a few points in my creaky old brain, thank you so much, lovey! I still need much thinking time with it,but I think this bit's okay so I'm dropping it now--I'm all excited about the next part and I'm so excited I've blocked myself--ever happen to anyone else? Or am I just a nutcase? Hey! I heard that!!Previous Parts are here, sitting in the back of the movies and humming the theme from Pee-Wee's Playhouse and ...eeeeeewwwww!!!
Summer Story
When they were once again in the loft, Whit lay on his back on the bed, groaning quietly and sweating. He didn’t know what happened, what they’d done to him. It was like coming down from too much shit. He wanted Wade in the room with him. He didn’t want to be alone, and he was cold, shaking and miserable.
Wade must have thought he’d be thrilled with that trick, but he was scared—scared shitless. His world was spinning apart and doing it so horribly slow, like the truck coming at them on the road.
Fuck! How long were the Ross’ going to be willing to put up with this shit? It was killing him the way they looked at him. And every day that brought the wedding closer felt like a stab to the heart. And then Wade—Jesus. He was just another knife in his heart.
As if on cue Wade came in from the other room and shut the door.
“Take your clothes off, okay?” He began to pull his shirt off. He stopped and frowned when Whit didn’t immediately strip off. “Come on, god damn it, I don’t have all fucking night. Strip.”
Whit shivered, and waves of heat and cold swept over him.
“Please Wade, I – I don’t feel good.”
Wade looked at him blankly and walked out of the room. “Be undressed when I get back. And don’t puke in the bed.”
Whit pulled his clothes off, shivering and moaning each time he moved too fast and it made his stomach flip. Finally he sat naked on the edge of the bed, trembling, his arms wrapped tightly about himself. Just when he thought, I’m crazy, let me get dressed and go home, Wade came back. He had a cup of something steaming in his hand, and a couple of pills.
“Here, take this and shut the fuck up, pussy.”
He pushed the cup into Whit’s trembling hand, shoved the pills between his lips.
“Swallow.” Whit obeyed, and gasped when the tea hit his stomach, and warmth spread out through his body.
“Better?” Wade eyed him critically. At Whit’s nod, he told him to lie down and stripped down to his boxers, lay down next to him. Whit shivered again and Wade rolled against him, warming him.
“This what you’re going through, it happens sometimes. You’re having a reaction to the ink. It’s okay, it won’t kill you. I will though if you throw up on me.”
Whit laughed a little and his too tight muscles loosened. This was different, kind of nice…almost--a cuddle, though he was careful not to move too much. And then Wade stroked his arms, and his neck, and pulled his head closer. Whit instantly started to slide down but Wade stopped him with a hand under his chin.
“No—just this,” he said, “Just keeping you warm.”—Whit was so startled he almost pulled away.
“See-- I can take care of you. You don’t need anyone else. When we’re finished here, you and me--it’ll just be you and me.” He pulled Whit against him, flipped the blanket over them both and after awhile he slept, and a little bit after that, Whit slept, and they slept together for a long while, Whit with his legs drawn up and a frown on his face, Wade with his arm about Whit’s waist and a hand locked around his wrist.
********
By the time Spring arrived, months had passed in relative quiet, Whit saw less of Wade, who said he was working on something that would set him up for life, and wouldn’t tell him more than that. “When the time’s right I’ll let you know, okay? Don’t worry about it ‘til then.” He wouldn’t talk about it.
Whit knew the string of small time robberies in Smallville and neighboring communities were Wade and his buddies, and he felt weighed down and ancient with the knowledge. He was so damn tired, so damn tired all the time and he was fucking sick of lying all the time.
He yanked his jacket shut against the wet cold air and crammed his fists into the pockets. Spring might have arrived again but winter wasn’t letting go its grip easily. He was icy outside and in and feeling like he was never going to be warm again.
He looked up to see the guys were heading his way, and sighed gustily. Time to be ‘on.’ Time to be Happy Whit. He forced his feelings down and prepared to play the ‘I’m Just Fine’ game.
Pete reached him first. “Hey Whit! I’ve been looking for you. We’re going to the movies tonight, you coming?” He smiled wide and for a moment Whit was angry at how clueless Pete was. Couldn’t he see that this life was falling apart day by day? Insensitive ass---
“Oh hell yeah, I’d just love to be the fifth wheel for you guys.” he sneered and Pete’s face fell. Damn—what did I do that for? He opened his mouth to apologize to Pete when Lex broke in.
“Well maybe if you’d look around you wouldn’t be wheel-less.” Lex snapped, angry that Whit hurt Pete’s feelings. A gust of wind blew the scarf he had on around his neck and Clark pulled it back into place. He raised an eyebrow at Lex. Wheel less? he mouthed.
“Shut up,” Lex snarled. He bat Clark’s hand away and focused on Whit again. “You *know* what I mean. Only an idiot keeps rebuilding the crap he got out of. Can’t you see he’s going to drag all the life out of you, just like your dad tried to?”
“You know what Lex, how about you shut the fuck up!” Whit yelled at Lex. “I’m sick and tired of you judging me, all of you judging me!”
Pete and Clark gaped at Whit and Lex in turn. What in the hell, Clark thought...where was this coming from? “Whit--” he began, and Whit burst out, “Why don’t you just leave me alone, okay, Mr. I’ve Got It All. Just leave me the fuck alone!” Whit turned and sprinted down the street.
Clark rounded on Lex. “Lex! What in the heck brought that on? Whit’s come so far—he’s not seeing that jerk anymore. He’s working hard to keep it together and then you accuse him of throwing it all away?”
Lex looked angry and hurt, and he yelled back, “Clark, how can you be so blind? He’s lying to us. He has seen him, he saw him all summer long—he’s probably still seeing him. He’s lying, you understand? To us! I—I can’t deal with that.” He turned away from Clark, his arms tightly crossed over his chest and went on quietly. “He’s supposed to be our friend—supposed to trust us.”
Clark understood what was upsetting Lex. Whit held something back from him, Whit, who was his friend and always honest with Lex, hid from him and in Lex’s mind that was as good as lying---and people who loved him didn’t lie to him.
And there in a nutshell was the reason he hadn’t told Lex about himself. He didn’t even know how to approach the subject. It scared him whenever he thought about telling Lex because he had no idea how he’d react. Would he be angry and think he’d lied all these years, because he didn’t share this with him? Would he be repulsed because he wasn’t--human? Or would he change in Lex’s eyes from friend to curiosity, something to be broken apart and figured out, maybe a peace offering to his dad?
Clark horrified himself with his thoughts. No, no, no. He should know better than that. Lex would *never* go that far in trying to get some kind of respect from his dad. He’d never do that to Clark. Never.
He studied the fierce face in front of him and the ice that’d crept into him melted.
He looked so unforgiving. As always, covering his hurt with a show of anger. And he knew that Lex hurt was an unpredictable being—he sighed, his forehead creased with worry, and Lex looked at him and exhaled sharply, impatiently.
“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him later. I’m not mad so much as disappointed. God. He just drives me crazy. Poor idiot.”
Pete echoed Clark’s sigh. “That guy. It’s like Dad keeps saying. He just won’t realize he can relax. He just doesn’t know how, I guess. Man. Your parents can really screw you up hunh?” He shook his head sadly and the boys walked on, a much more subdued group now, each of them caught up in their own thoughts.
Clark trailed them a bit, his eyes on Lex slight figure.
So thin, so small to carry so much weight Clark thought. It’ll be okay though. I’ll be there to help. Whether he wants help or not. He loved him like breathing, but that was one stubborn man, and way too proud. And a little vain…and short-tempered. Ah well-- when it came to Lex’s ego, he had no delusions, but he was more than willing to stroke it.
And blushed bright red at the images that rose in his mind…stroke. Oh gosh.
********
Time spun out so slowly or so it seemed. The days were longer again, the weather warmer and dry and breezy. The kind of days that required you to be out and about, so they were lounging around the Kent porch. Clark sat on the stair next to Lex and tried not to touch him too much, but he looked particularly cute this afternoon, with his jeans and t-shirt and it was nice to see him dressed just—average. Even if the jeans did cost what more than every single thing Whit and Pete and he were wearing right down to the boxers--
He leaned over and kissed Lex on the top of his smooth head and Pete sucked his teeth and flared his nostrils and Clark laughed.
Lex rolled his head toward Pete. “What Pete? Something wrong?” He stretched out and yawned and ended up with an arm wrapped around Clark’s neck.
Pete rolled his eyes and pointed at the two. “I love you guys, but hey—love only goes so far. I don’t scmooch my sweetie in front of you and you don’t –smooch yours in front of me, deal?” He folded his arms and scowled at them, trying to look ferocious and succeeded mostly in looking like an offended teddy bear.
“Sure Pete” Clark said brightly and muttered under his breath, “You giant homophobe.”
“Hey! I heard that—I am not! I just –just don’t want to see you guys kissing, geez, crucify me why don’t you….” Pete looked at Clark out of the corner of his eye and worried that maybe Clark meant it and he did know he’d just been kidding right?
Whit broke in, “Hey, don’t sweat it Pete, I don’t want to see them kissing either. Big fairies.” He made a disgusted face and went back to his magazine.
Clark sat a moment and spoke in a voice filled with deep revelation, “That’s ‘cause you’re jealous. Hey! Maybe Pete’s jealous too!”
Lex nodded in agreement, and grinned.
He turned his head to Pete who was looking thoughtful. “Do you think I am…could I be jealous? Hmmm—No.” and Pete settled back with the air of having given the perfect argument.
Lex laughed and leaned back against Clark’s legs. “Nice. Nice day. And Dad’s gone for the weekend so I’m feeling pretty good.”
“Great! Then you can stay at my house.” Clark looked happy and Lex smiled. His boyfriend, a simple man of simple joys. He snickered and Clark whacked him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re laughing at me—stop.” He said fondly.
Lex laughed harder. He felt good, better than.
He waited until Pete looked away and pulled Clark closer to him and kissed him.
“Ew. I heard that.”
Whit laughed,”If you think it sounds ew, you should see the look on Kent’s face. Hey, Clark do you have any brain cells left?”
Clark just flushed and grinned and Lex thought again—much better than.
TBC--and sooner than this I hope!
ETA:oopsies!