Help!

I'm feeling all disgustingly needy and whiny...could someone please tell me I'm not boring? No wait, could you tell me I'm cute...no, no! tell me my ass isn't flat--or too wide...Oo! Tell me I'm funny...I'm not feeling too funny today. Sigh. I just feel crappy and I shouldn't, things are going well.
Bleeeergh. Oh well. Whining is my middle name. no, really, it is. I swear!
Okay, I'm lying. Ann is my middle name. but it' such a boring name. My name is boring.... *sigh*
Help?