(no subject)

Hey everybody.
I suck, I missed a lot of birthdays, so sorry! I owe feedback for wonderful stories and thanks for lovely comments for my own stuff. I owe so much to so many people, geez, it's kind of overwhelming thinking about it.

My girlfriend's stepdad died this week, and it really threw me. I've known the man since I was a college kid, he was a good guy. My girl lives on the west coast and I figure I need to be there for her mom, but to tell you the truth I know I'm not helpful. I'm really really sorry that I'm not. I wish I could be.
I feel sorry about that. I want to be good, be a better person but it's not happening in this lifetime. Better luck next time.
Can you believe it took me two days to write this? mostly because I was trying to make myself sound good, I had to give up on that. I write a drabble in ten minutes and spend hours and hours trying to say basically nothing.

Which reminds me, I've been an enormous asshole since Christmas and I'm not sure why. I've been all diva-ish and snotty and kind of a jerk. I mean that I know I've been that way, so I've been trying hard (hope it worked) not to offend anyone. Anyway, that's it. Talk to you when I'm a little less knee-deep in self pity. (it's very unattractive and you get these little frown-lines on your face, see--> X(