Stoopit!

[roxy]

Today, I was a complete and utter asshole at work.

I lost it--totally, entirely, lost it. Someone I work with while playing around, accidently smacked me in the face. They tossed a package of underwear at me and clipped me. Okay, it didn't hurt a lot but...she hit me in the face.
Smack. Loud.

That's something that just...makes me lose it, don't ask me why, she probably could have kicked me in the butt and I wouldn't have gotten half as angry. And I just didn't get angry--I got stupid. I got beyond mad, I got ignorant. I had to leave, told the girl I was leaving so I wouldn't drag her across the counter she was sitting at and kill her mother fucking ass. I called her a bitch and I left--I told everyone blocking my access to the exit to get the fuck out of my way and told my supervisor to shut up and leave me alone until I was cool again.
Damn
I hate loosing my shit completely--I don't mind being crabby, but I hate feeling like I need to kill someone or I won't be able to calm down. Errrffff...idiot girl. I came so *close!* And then it would have been on, I'm sure, and I don't fight, I'm too fucking old for that.

Eventually I calmed down and told her we were square and watch her ass in future, but man...*shakes head*
Guess I got some 'splaining to do tomorrow.

And just so you know, I don't give a shit about what I said to her, I'm just mad I showed out in the store. So much for that Mrs. Santa Claus image I was going for.

Comments

[treetracer]

Goodness! But, better to leave and cool down than stay and have to hide someone's body. And that kind of "playing around" shouldn't be going on at work, IMO. {{{hugs}}}

[emeraldsedai.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a shock reaction to me. Who knows what being clipped in the face by a package of underwear (or anything else, for that matter) triggered in your nervous system? In the fight/flight/freeze trifecta, you went for fight in a big way.

Don't you just HATE being reminded that whole big parts of you are just a pre-human, non-rational mammal?

[dawnybee.livejournal.com]

Daaammn! This is my favorite part though:

I just didn't get angry--I got stupid
Sometimes it happens that way. There was time I snapped on someone and you'd thought I had Tourette's.

You weren't being an a**hole, people get angry. Now she know better to be playing around you.

[herohunter.livejournal.com]

Hitting you in the face, I don't care how "joking" they thought they were is not right and it's not alright.

*hugs*

[jennifus.livejournal.com]

You did better than I would have... I'd have beat her ass down.

Everyone loses their temper sometimes, dear.

[katholicgrrl.livejournal.com]

Completely understandable reaction. Fooling around or not, your experience was of a physical assault, and that triggered strong emotions. i went through something sort of similar at work, strangely coincidentally. (((sends you love and hugs))) :)

[supercaptain182.livejournal.com]

Good you calmed down. Sometimes the urge to bitchslap creeps up when least expected. Glad that you separated yourself so you didn't do something stupid. Oh well everyone has the 'fuck off and die' moments, usually prompted by alot less than flying undies. :)

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

:hugs:

[capnzebbie.livejournal.com]

I hear Mrs. Santa Claus has quite the temper. They just left that part out of the song. *g*

*hugs* Hope the 'splaining goes well.

[suzvoy.livejournal.com]

You definitely did the right thing walking away, and hey, we all have different triggers that set us off :)

[elli.livejournal.com]

*hugz*

I can understand you being pissed. I would be too. It just sucks not being in control and having to act.

[tabaqui]

Ack!
Ms. Thang!
Sucks when you let your nice face drop, don't it.
*snuggles you*