Okay, i'm hearing your need for criticism, so i reread it and found 3 teeny tiny things. there's one place where your quote marks face the wrong way:
” Lex, I do care about you, and I care what you think--I… you’re my best friend….”
and a couple of places where you need a space, here,
" Shit.And his father " and at the end of that same paragraph.
No misspellings, you don't mix up your subject and object pronouns - i never have to stop and re-word in my mind to keep reading your stuff, like i do with too many other writers. No dangly parts dangling participles, that's a good thing. No dangly parts, maybe not so good. ;)
(no subject)
8/4/04 03:25 am (UTC)” Lex, I do care about you, and I care what you think--I… you’re my best friend….”
and a couple of places where you need a space, here,
" Shit.And his father " and at the end of that same paragraph.
No misspellings, you don't mix up your subject and object pronouns - i never have to stop and re-word in my mind to keep reading your stuff, like i do with too many other writers. No
dangly partsdangling participles, that's a good thing. No dangly parts, maybe not so good. ;)