>>Lex felt tears well up and he was about to curse himself for an overly sentimental fool when he felt hot drops on his shoulder. "Kal, are you…crying?" "I'm so sorry, it's silly I know and hardly very supremely majestic and commanderly of me but…I'm just so happy. So very happy." "Ah. Me too. Happier than I have any right to be." "Don’t be silly, My Lex. There's *nothing* you don’t deserve.<<
The snippet above was a wonderful way to end their first love making session after being reunited. Kal didn't get to see a lot of Lex teary emotions. I also enjoyed their banter this chapter-they fell right back into it. Kal surrendering was priceless. That they both used holograms to either indicate they were in a different location or express fear or grandness was cool-they do think alike in a lot of ways-even though they're so very different in a lot of ways. (I'm watching Family Guy and Stewie just said: 'I am the Supreme Commander'-no lie) At this point-since it was Kal that came-there was no war-no losses/attacks on earth_So by Lex and Kal doing what they did to get to the positions and power they needed-they each also made their worlds better as an added benefit. I don't know what kind of social injustices Kal changed; but you did write about Luthor and all his charities and making sure everybody who wanted to work had a job-so it sounded like Earth was doing pretty good.
>> The galaxy is your hard-shelled mollusk, and I am your fork. Use me!"<< __this is entertaining-but it's not 'laugh out loud' like you've had in the earlier chapters. In the end you gotta close with the strong stuff. You had 25 chapters filled with them, so it is possible that you just ran out of the big zingers.
I'm also glad you added the AI in the ending_because you really managed to shape and form it into a character-nice job doing it too. The sentiments and all that was wonderful and could have been expressed without the AI terminating itself (at least that's how I read it). I wish the AI would have expressed its joy at being reunited with his masters husband and being reawakened in his masters mind-then say all the wonderful stuff you wrote and then just go off line for a while to give the boys extra time alone to get to know each other again. No one else died-why the AI?
I'm also crazy that it was so simple and that none of my crazy theories or even possibly crazier theories were the actual ending. But it's cool because Lex really was surprised to see Kal.
Other things: You did not explain how Kal knew that Lex was building an armada.
You did not address the age difference. When the people who brought Kal home put their probe in the worm whole for a couple or few minutes--3 months had passed for Lex's side of the worm hole. Even if we say they left the probe for a day-that means that for every 4 days Kal was away, Lex aged 1 year. Kal said he was away for years. It had to take decades for Lex to become pres and get those armadas built. Lex would have been a very old man or dead. You bothered pointing out the time difference in the body of the story a couple of times_so all the readers should have known that Lex would have to find a way to stay young, grow a new body, whatever....but you just ignored it. So I feel a little disappointed about that. You also had Kal want to visit the Kents who would also be dead by now. I read all your reviews and nobody even mentioned a thing about the difference in time on each end of the worm hole that you included earlier in the story.
This was a good chapter_not as good as your others_but you had 24 or 25 great ones before this-so one not great chapter isn't so bad---except when it's at the end and then it leaves the reader frustrated...It's like not getting the money shot at the end of the porn scene. Probably a terrible analogy-but you did write some great porn in this story-so maybe not. Thanks for sharing the story though. Actually stories. I also read your one shot whit/clarks and i think you had an 18 chapter one with them being lawn service-but that's not ended yet. And I read a couple from your recs. You have a great site. Thanks again.
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The Party's Over
6/3/09 04:59 am (UTC)"I'm so sorry, it's silly I know and hardly very supremely majestic and commanderly of me but…I'm just so happy. So very happy."
"Ah. Me too. Happier than I have any right to be."
"Don’t be silly, My Lex. There's *nothing* you don’t deserve.<<
The snippet above was a wonderful way to end their first love making session after being reunited. Kal didn't get to see a lot of Lex teary emotions. I also enjoyed their banter this chapter-they fell right back into it. Kal surrendering was priceless. That they both used holograms to either indicate they were in a different location or express fear or grandness was cool-they do think alike in a lot of ways-even though they're so very different in a lot of ways. (I'm watching Family Guy and Stewie just said: 'I am the Supreme Commander'-no lie)
At this point-since it was Kal that came-there was no war-no losses/attacks on earth_So by Lex and Kal doing what they did to get to the positions and power they needed-they each also made their worlds better as an added benefit. I don't know what kind of social injustices Kal changed; but you did write about Luthor and all his charities and making sure everybody who wanted to work had a job-so it sounded like Earth was doing pretty good.
>> The galaxy is your hard-shelled mollusk, and I am your fork. Use me!"<< __this is entertaining-but it's not 'laugh out loud' like you've had in the earlier chapters. In the end you gotta close with the strong stuff. You had 25 chapters filled with them, so it is possible that you just ran out of the big zingers.
I'm also glad you added the AI in the ending_because you really managed to shape and form it into a character-nice job doing it too. The sentiments and all that was wonderful and could have been expressed without the AI terminating itself (at least that's how I read it). I wish the AI would have expressed its joy at being reunited with his masters husband and being reawakened in his masters mind-then say all the wonderful stuff you wrote and then just go off line for a while to give the boys extra time alone to get to know each other again. No one else died-why the AI?
I'm also crazy that it was so simple and that none of my crazy theories or even possibly crazier theories were the actual ending. But it's cool because Lex really was surprised to see Kal.
Other things:
You did not explain how Kal knew that Lex was building an armada.
You did not address the age difference. When the people who brought Kal home put their probe in the worm whole for a couple or few minutes--3 months had passed for Lex's side of the worm hole. Even if we say they left the probe for a day-that means that for every 4 days Kal was away, Lex aged 1 year. Kal said he was away for years. It had to take decades for Lex to become pres and get those armadas built. Lex would have been a very old man or dead. You bothered pointing out the time difference in the body of the story a couple of times_so all the readers should have known that Lex would have to find a way to stay young, grow a new body, whatever....but you just ignored it. So I feel a little disappointed about that. You also had Kal want to visit the Kents who would also be dead by now. I read all your reviews and nobody even mentioned a thing about the difference in time on each end of the worm hole that you included earlier in the story.
This was a good chapter_not as good as your others_but you had 24 or 25 great ones before this-so one not great chapter isn't so bad---except when it's at the end and then it leaves the reader frustrated...It's like not getting the money shot at the end of the porn scene. Probably a terrible analogy-but you did write some great porn in this story-so maybe not. Thanks for sharing the story though. Actually stories. I also read your one shot whit/clarks and i think you had an 18 chapter one with them being lawn service-but that's not ended yet. And I read a couple from your recs. You have a great site. Thanks again.