SV fic post: East of the Sun part 27
4/29/08 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyTitle: East of the Sun
Author: roxy
Pairings/Characters: Lex/quite a few people, eventually clex of course
Rating:PG
Word Count:1336
Summary: Lex learns about trust and love from an unlikely source.
Notes/Warnings: my version of the swing era. Sure, it's weird—it's me!
Many, many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
danceswithgary, any boo-boos are entirely mine!
They strolled together back to Clark's boarding house, and Alex was surprised how comfortable they were together, and wondered how he could have thought Clark felt uneasy around him, so when Clark asked him up, he hesitated, but just a moment, before saying yes. He was surprised again when Clark unlocked his door and ushered Alex in. Clark was nothing at all like the mental picture he'd built of him—as Clark himself had pointed out.
The little room was not what he'd expected, not at all the room of a guy barely graduated out of his teen age years. What he had expected was piles of filthy clothes and food turning to cement on dirty plates but it was neat as a pin, everything in its spotless place. The single window was open a crack, and room was a little cool, there was a slight scent of cinnamon and a hint of another smell he couldn’t identify but put him in mind of a summer day. The kid had done his best—there were a few colorful magazine covers pinned to the wall, Gable, Cooper, Dietrich…a table stood against the wall opposite his bed, flanked by mismatched chairs, and a bright cloth covered the scarred table top. He didn’t think that Clark smoked but there were a few cigarette burns in the cloth—maybe he'd buy him a new one.
Clark was pulling a chair out for him, and reaching for his coat so Alex gave it with a smile. "Tea?" Clark asked and he positively beamed when Alex said yes. From a tiny cupboard the hot plate sat on, he brought out a couple of bright mugs. "The Odeon over on 54th street gives them out at matinees. It's mostly me and a bunch of housewives," he laughed. "I don’t mind, in fact, it's kind of fun-- they're all real nice to me." Alex nodded, suddenly livid with jealousy of a bunch of women in aprons and pincurls.
Clark brought the mugs filled with hot water to the table, with teabags in each, and set a small plate piled neatly with sugar cubes in front of him. Jealousy melted—Clark was treating him like a special guest. It shouldn't make him so pleased, but it did. Clark bent to get a little box of cookies from the bottom of the cupboard and that shouldn't make him hard…but it did.
In an effort to shift his attention upward Alex said, "So…tell me a little about yourself. I think today is the first day it's just been you and me together."
Clark smiled a little. "But you know everything about me that's important to know. I came from a little farming town, my folks were dairy farmers. Umm, I have a younger sister—"
"I have a younger brother."
"Really?" Clark looked pleased. "It's great being a big brother, isn’t it? I'm just…sorry I couldn’t stay home."
"Did you get into some trouble?" Alex asked, and immediately apologized. "None of my business, sorry."
"No…it's okay. I don't mind telling you what happened. I had some trouble involving school. Classmates. I thought it would be better for everyone if I left town."
Alex studied the man across from him. He'd know damn well that Clark wasn't twenty as he'd claimed the first time they'd met but the kid was even younger than he'd guessed. Left town… Somehow, He couldn’t picture Clark being so troublesome he'd have to leave his home….
Clark swallowed and grimaced at his tea, added more sugar. He continued speaking. "It started with a guy." Alex tried to hide his flinch of surprise at Clark's words. "This guy…he liked me." He glanced at Alex and widened his eyes significantly. "liked me liked me. And he got caught being…grabby with me and acted like it was my fault, like I'd grabbed *him* instead. Because he was afraid of being found out, I got tarred with his brush." He looked sad, but Alex could see some anger there, too.
Alex grimaced. "Well, Clark…it can be hard to live this way, surrounded by people who'd like nothing better than to see you dead. Not everyone is brave enough to live what they really are, Clark. Not everyone is brave enough to stand up to the world." Clark glanced at him, a bitter, knowing expression on his face and Alex shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not absolving your friend of wrong-doing; I'm just saying…it's hard."
Clark nodded. "He told me he did it because I was braver than he was, stronger--that I could handle it. And I could have, Alex, I could…but not my little sister. She didn’t deserve to be treated like trash because of me."
Alex groaned inwardly. People were horrible, mindless animals—taking their hatred out on an innocent kid? Sometimes, he hated human beings.
Clark rolled his cup between his palms and said, "The thing was…I liked him. He was a good friend, and that was something I'd never had before. I'm still sorry it turned out the way it did. I would have stayed his friend, you know."
Alex nodded, Clark's words opening a huge, knife edged hole in his chest. He wished…to find this 'friend' and kill him. Make him feel all of what he put Clark through. Looking at the pained expression on the boy's beautiful face, it was obvious whatever had happened to Clark was probably worse than he was admitting to. Alex was entirely too familiar with that kind of hurt, carrying pain that couldn’t be shared, ever…. "You're a good man, Clark, and that guy was a skunk, a louse and a coward. You were the decent guy there, willing to be his friend even though you didn’t share his feelings."
Clark put his cup down, raised his head and looked right into Alex's eyes. "I didn’t say that."
Alex felt like he'd stepped off a cliff and was dropping through air like a cartoon character...Clark went on, "He never gave me a chance. Never asked what I really felt."
Alex tried to speak, but his mouth was dry as cotton. He nodded and desperately drank tea.
"So, when I asked you about Chloe, I guess what I really wanted to ask you about was being gay. That's the word, right?"
"It's…" His throat seized up again, and his voice was a dry rattle. "It's one of them, yeah…"
"So, maybe you and Pete can explain it to me?"
"Pete? Pete…I…suppose." How did Pete fit into this, Alex wondered? "Hey, listen--I have to split, but I promise we'll talk about all of--of this. Real soon."
"Oh! All right…tomorrow's Christmas, I guess I'll see you the day after--at rehearsal, right?"
"I—sure. Of course." Clark looked a little less animated at the lack-luster response and Alex glanced away, feeling like a crumb.
At the door he held his hand out to Clark. "Thanks for coming to breakfast with me and the tea and…thanks." Clark smiled and his hand over Alex's was big, the palm so soft, it was hard to believe he ever worked and lived on a farm. Suddenly he was aware he'd been stroking his thumb over and over Clark's hand. He jerked a little and Clark's hand tightened for a second and his eyes looked deep and dark. Alex opened his mouth to say something, anything to defuse the moment. Clark's eyes were on his mouth, and he looked confused, nervous. In the second it took Alex to blink, he felt warm breath skate his lips, heard himself mutter, "Oh god." And he wasn't sure if it was prayer or a plea for Clark not to come to his senses. Shit. Alex felt his heart stop, stutter. He'd lost his mind; he'd finally gone barking nuts. His lips were barely touching the kids but they were touching. That made it a kiss, no matter how you sliced it. He felt a chill on his mouth as Clark gasped in shock.
Fuck. Fuck.
part 28
TBC soon!
Author: roxy
Pairings/Characters: Lex/quite a few people, eventually clex of course
Rating:PG
Word Count:1336
Summary: Lex learns about trust and love from an unlikely source.
Notes/Warnings: my version of the swing era. Sure, it's weird—it's me!
Many, many thanks to
danceswithgary, any boo-boos are entirely mine!They strolled together back to Clark's boarding house, and Alex was surprised how comfortable they were together, and wondered how he could have thought Clark felt uneasy around him, so when Clark asked him up, he hesitated, but just a moment, before saying yes. He was surprised again when Clark unlocked his door and ushered Alex in. Clark was nothing at all like the mental picture he'd built of him—as Clark himself had pointed out.
The little room was not what he'd expected, not at all the room of a guy barely graduated out of his teen age years. What he had expected was piles of filthy clothes and food turning to cement on dirty plates but it was neat as a pin, everything in its spotless place. The single window was open a crack, and room was a little cool, there was a slight scent of cinnamon and a hint of another smell he couldn’t identify but put him in mind of a summer day. The kid had done his best—there were a few colorful magazine covers pinned to the wall, Gable, Cooper, Dietrich…a table stood against the wall opposite his bed, flanked by mismatched chairs, and a bright cloth covered the scarred table top. He didn’t think that Clark smoked but there were a few cigarette burns in the cloth—maybe he'd buy him a new one.
Clark was pulling a chair out for him, and reaching for his coat so Alex gave it with a smile. "Tea?" Clark asked and he positively beamed when Alex said yes. From a tiny cupboard the hot plate sat on, he brought out a couple of bright mugs. "The Odeon over on 54th street gives them out at matinees. It's mostly me and a bunch of housewives," he laughed. "I don’t mind, in fact, it's kind of fun-- they're all real nice to me." Alex nodded, suddenly livid with jealousy of a bunch of women in aprons and pincurls.
Clark brought the mugs filled with hot water to the table, with teabags in each, and set a small plate piled neatly with sugar cubes in front of him. Jealousy melted—Clark was treating him like a special guest. It shouldn't make him so pleased, but it did. Clark bent to get a little box of cookies from the bottom of the cupboard and that shouldn't make him hard…but it did.
In an effort to shift his attention upward Alex said, "So…tell me a little about yourself. I think today is the first day it's just been you and me together."
Clark smiled a little. "But you know everything about me that's important to know. I came from a little farming town, my folks were dairy farmers. Umm, I have a younger sister—"
"I have a younger brother."
"Really?" Clark looked pleased. "It's great being a big brother, isn’t it? I'm just…sorry I couldn’t stay home."
"Did you get into some trouble?" Alex asked, and immediately apologized. "None of my business, sorry."
"No…it's okay. I don't mind telling you what happened. I had some trouble involving school. Classmates. I thought it would be better for everyone if I left town."
Alex studied the man across from him. He'd know damn well that Clark wasn't twenty as he'd claimed the first time they'd met but the kid was even younger than he'd guessed. Left town… Somehow, He couldn’t picture Clark being so troublesome he'd have to leave his home….
Clark swallowed and grimaced at his tea, added more sugar. He continued speaking. "It started with a guy." Alex tried to hide his flinch of surprise at Clark's words. "This guy…he liked me." He glanced at Alex and widened his eyes significantly. "liked me liked me. And he got caught being…grabby with me and acted like it was my fault, like I'd grabbed *him* instead. Because he was afraid of being found out, I got tarred with his brush." He looked sad, but Alex could see some anger there, too.
Alex grimaced. "Well, Clark…it can be hard to live this way, surrounded by people who'd like nothing better than to see you dead. Not everyone is brave enough to live what they really are, Clark. Not everyone is brave enough to stand up to the world." Clark glanced at him, a bitter, knowing expression on his face and Alex shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not absolving your friend of wrong-doing; I'm just saying…it's hard."
Clark nodded. "He told me he did it because I was braver than he was, stronger--that I could handle it. And I could have, Alex, I could…but not my little sister. She didn’t deserve to be treated like trash because of me."
Alex groaned inwardly. People were horrible, mindless animals—taking their hatred out on an innocent kid? Sometimes, he hated human beings.
Clark rolled his cup between his palms and said, "The thing was…I liked him. He was a good friend, and that was something I'd never had before. I'm still sorry it turned out the way it did. I would have stayed his friend, you know."
Alex nodded, Clark's words opening a huge, knife edged hole in his chest. He wished…to find this 'friend' and kill him. Make him feel all of what he put Clark through. Looking at the pained expression on the boy's beautiful face, it was obvious whatever had happened to Clark was probably worse than he was admitting to. Alex was entirely too familiar with that kind of hurt, carrying pain that couldn’t be shared, ever…. "You're a good man, Clark, and that guy was a skunk, a louse and a coward. You were the decent guy there, willing to be his friend even though you didn’t share his feelings."
Clark put his cup down, raised his head and looked right into Alex's eyes. "I didn’t say that."
Alex felt like he'd stepped off a cliff and was dropping through air like a cartoon character...Clark went on, "He never gave me a chance. Never asked what I really felt."
Alex tried to speak, but his mouth was dry as cotton. He nodded and desperately drank tea.
"So, when I asked you about Chloe, I guess what I really wanted to ask you about was being gay. That's the word, right?"
"It's…" His throat seized up again, and his voice was a dry rattle. "It's one of them, yeah…"
"So, maybe you and Pete can explain it to me?"
"Pete? Pete…I…suppose." How did Pete fit into this, Alex wondered? "Hey, listen--I have to split, but I promise we'll talk about all of--of this. Real soon."
"Oh! All right…tomorrow's Christmas, I guess I'll see you the day after--at rehearsal, right?"
"I—sure. Of course." Clark looked a little less animated at the lack-luster response and Alex glanced away, feeling like a crumb.
At the door he held his hand out to Clark. "Thanks for coming to breakfast with me and the tea and…thanks." Clark smiled and his hand over Alex's was big, the palm so soft, it was hard to believe he ever worked and lived on a farm. Suddenly he was aware he'd been stroking his thumb over and over Clark's hand. He jerked a little and Clark's hand tightened for a second and his eyes looked deep and dark. Alex opened his mouth to say something, anything to defuse the moment. Clark's eyes were on his mouth, and he looked confused, nervous. In the second it took Alex to blink, he felt warm breath skate his lips, heard himself mutter, "Oh god." And he wasn't sure if it was prayer or a plea for Clark not to come to his senses. Shit. Alex felt his heart stop, stutter. He'd lost his mind; he'd finally gone barking nuts. His lips were barely touching the kids but they were touching. That made it a kiss, no matter how you sliced it. He felt a chill on his mouth as Clark gasped in shock.
Fuck. Fuck.
part 28
TBC soon!
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