Ok, I foolishly decided that since (1)I made it all the way through the angstfest that was "The Ghost of Somebody by his side" without crying and (2) that I was forewarned that this story wasn't going to end happily, I should just woman up and read this thing through.
I foolishly forgot that I created this icon for a reason. Dammit, woman, did you have to completely rip out my heart and run it through a meat grinder? I mean, I got to this and I just started crying so hard I couldn't see the screen anymore: His eyes burned with the pain of wanting to cry, when no tears were possible. He lifted the gun and took a second. He had nothing to turn to, no soul to ask protection for. The best he could hope for was oblivion and he hoped for it with all his might—and then, he wished with everything he had, with every stolen moment of this life, that Sam be well, be safe. Be loved.
How in hell did you make me feel so bad for what was essentially a hellbeast/Dean clone? And yet, like Sam, I really really didn't want him to have to go (even if that meant totally cheating on real!Dean). I mean, the whole process of Sam having to heal him from his memories of hell and darkness was so damn powerful. Poor broken not!Dean.
As usual, you did an amazing job making me like your OCs--Raphael and Danny, especially. (Wow, that scene where Dean was menacing Danny gave me the shivers!) And the whole concept of Sam's business was so clever and appropriate. I also really loved how well you handled the balance between Sam's continual sense of loss over Dean and yet his commitment to living his life as Dean would have wanted, in the beginning of the story.
Finally, I love how you just populate the story with random gods, goddesses and tricksters popping out of the woodwork--that was fun, especially Esu. (I loved the hat story--I assume that is traditional? Though if you made it up you did a fantastic job of making it sound traditional.
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6/12/09 06:55 am (UTC)I foolishly forgot that I created this icon for a reason. Dammit, woman, did you have to completely rip out my heart and run it through a meat grinder? I mean, I got to this and I just started crying so hard I couldn't see the screen anymore: His eyes burned with the pain of wanting to cry, when no tears were possible. He lifted the gun and took a second. He had nothing to turn to, no soul to ask protection for. The best he could hope for was oblivion and he hoped for it with all his might—and then, he wished with everything he had, with every stolen moment of this life, that Sam be well, be safe. Be loved.
How in hell did you make me feel so bad for what was essentially a hellbeast/Dean clone? And yet, like Sam, I really really didn't want him to have to go (even if that meant totally cheating on real!Dean). I mean, the whole process of Sam having to heal him from his memories of hell and darkness was so damn powerful. Poor broken not!Dean.
As usual, you did an amazing job making me like your OCs--Raphael and Danny, especially. (Wow, that scene where Dean was menacing Danny gave me the shivers!) And the whole concept of Sam's business was so clever and appropriate. I also really loved how well you handled the balance between Sam's continual sense of loss over Dean and yet his commitment to living his life as Dean would have wanted, in the beginning of the story.
Finally, I love how you just populate the story with random gods, goddesses and tricksters popping out of the woodwork--that was fun, especially Esu. (I loved the hat story--I assume that is traditional? Though if you made it up you did a fantastic job of making it sound traditional.