Ha!

[roxy]

I blacked out at work today. Yes, I blacked the fuck out and I don't mean I got faint and fell over I mean I BLACKED OUT! Like, bitch I'm going to choke you the FUCK out if you reach under my arm to grab a sweater one more time. And roll it up in a ball while I'm standing RIGHT THERE and toss it on the shelf like, "Beulah, fold that for me will you, and after that bring my lemonade out on the veranda."

This bitch trying to dig shit out from under me until finally she walked back to the other side of the table to turn sweaters like they were compost and I had the EYE on her, the one that reaches into the back of your skull and pokes you in the brain—ask the children they know what I mean. She's making sweater balls and I'm on the other side steaming. I just about levitated 200 lbs of pissed off sales clerk right into the air. One more fucking ball and I was gonna come right over the top of that shelf and Matrix that bitch. She had me walking the floor PISSED off and talking to myself. I know, I know—you need to buy stuff and I need you to buy it in order to get a paycheck but REALLY? What the fuck?

Ah, retail! A job that the people you work for act like being a sales clerk is as important as being a nurse, and the people who shop there act like the people you work for bought you off the block. Thank god I get all the coffee I want, when ever I want it. Not that it's exactly a perk we offer, *koff*….

Hanging on until the end of January when it's all over with. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

Comments

[twinsarein.livejournal.com]

Huh, I used to work in retail - a grocery store - and I don't know what you're talking about. It wasn't that bad.

Apart from the shitty hours that changed every single, fucking week, and we'd get our schedule on a Friday, for the following week starting on Sunday (we got a whole day's notice, nothing to complain about there).

Of course, there were the customers. Such as the one that would bitch and rant for five minutes if I didn't handle her bananas with the same care I would have given a case of nitroglycerin.

Other than that, it wasn't too bad. Unless you count the repetitive motion injuries that have turned my arms to shit, and have me dealing with constant, if fairly low-level pain - most of the time, except on days starting with 'T' or ending in 'y' or on days when the temps get below 60 degrees.

And then the lovely lady who bitched at me because I let her meat and vegetables and potato chips touch after they went down the conveyer belt. I've been told this is a matter of religion for Orthodox Jews, so I hope that's what she was, because otherwise I'd think she had serious issues.

So, really not that bad. We were given a matt to stand on during our shifts, after all. Maybe it was only a quarter of an inch thick, and not much protection during a six hour shift, but we had it.

And, sometimes the customers provided a good laugh. such as the one who, when I asked the standard question 'Do you have any coupons?' informed me that she had been raised Upper Middle Class, and they didn't use coupons.

So, I really don't know why you are complaining, Roxy. working in retail is a joy and delight, as long as you are willing to overlook a few minor things.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Girl! If I had to work a register longer than an hour, I'd end up arrested! I feel for the ones that can't escape. *shakes head* I don't mind smiling and being more or less pleasant for a little bit, but stupidity wipes it right out. I'll run from one end of the store to another to help out a customer, I will do all I can, but when that person acts like they're Mrs. god and I *better* do it, than I will pass them off to an idiot and let them handle it. Is it wrong of me to say some of my co-workers are idiots? because they are.

And, sometimes the customers provided a good laugh. such as the one who, when I asked the standard question 'Do you have any coupons?' informed me that she had been raised Upper Middle Class, and they didn't use coupons.

LOL!!!! I love the customers who wait until you've completed the transaction and then say, "Oh! I had coupons!" Yeah, sucks to be you, sis. They stand there like I'm going to do something about it--like what? Turn back time? People!

I remember way back in the day when I was just starting out in the exciting field of retail, one of my co-workers snapped at a woman, "Do I come to you job and tear it up?" Okay, granted, that was kind of a silly thing to say, but man--it still makes me laugh thinking of it. :)

[danceswithgary]

You have the patience of a saint. I'd never make through a week. I know, I've been fired because of my 'attitude.' *hugs*

[tabaqui]

OMFG.
I would *definitely* had said or done something epically passive-agressive but making sure she knew i was going to keeeeeeeeeeel her if she didn't straighten up.

Fuck. Me.

*pets you lots*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*HUUUUUUUUUUGS* you! See--this is why I like you! :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Girl! I KNOW! I can't say anything to them *directly* (*koff*)....

*leans into you*

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that's rough, babe. Yeesh. I've spent my summers waiting tables, which isn't the same thing, but I can sure empathize and sympathize with you about The Stupid Jackasses as I like to call them in my head. *massive bear hugs for you, hon, the kind where I literally squeeze some of the life out of you, but only the worst parts*

And galactic kudos to you for, although I imagine you're well-trained by The Man at this point, holding your tongue for the most part, vitriolic muttering aside and not verbally eviscerating that ho-ma like, from the sound of it, she totally effing deserved! I think that's the worst part of dealing with people in general stupid people -- the fact that you can't stand up for yourself. Have you seen Office Space, m'dear? After particularly rough treatment, I always seem to wind up muttering, "But, no. . . but my stapler, but I was told that. . . " and the like.

I miss the good ol' cool-down sessions of smoke breaks. Ha! I used to be such a chain smoker, and it was mainly because smoking gave me the right to ignore people whilst still getting paid. It was awesome. :(

Anywho, sorry to ramble, but I'm glad you're still all in on piece, Snuggles! *MWAH* Have yourself some nog! Nog cures all, I always say. (I should really start saying that year-round, if only cos it'd be hysterical. Am I right?)

Also, I used this icon especially for you. I don't know which manly man you want to envision yourself as, but just imagine I'm the other guy, also manfully slapping your back and pretending with all my not inconsiderable might that that isn't my erection digging into your hip, just my very large set of manly keys. *wink*

[ender24]

so sorry to hear, that you had such problems withe these idiotic customers :(

thank god, you are right, soon jingle bells is soon over :D

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

the people you work for act like being a sales clerk is as important as being a nurse, and the people who shop there act like the people you work for bought you off the block
I'm printing this bit of brilliance out and putting it on my bulletin board. Fuckers.

[xinsidemyskinx.livejournal.com]

I still work in retail and I totally get it. I often have moments where I can visualise myself fly kicking people in the head.

My going to work is often filled with homicidal thoughts. Once upon a time i was stupid enough to apply for team leader, not realising exactly what I was doing to myself. Today I had colleagues complaining they wanted chairs that i didn't have, customers complaining about whether I was planning on opening up any more tills and then managers whining about why do we have queues. To which i wanted to turn around and say because we're a fucking supermarket you simpleton.

To say that xmas is my least favourite holiday would be an understatement. I mean really you've gone around an entire store bought half the shop and then come to me and go 'be a dear can you pick me such and such because I've forgotten to pick it up' even though its like the other side of the shop.

UGH!!!!

Okay I'll stop ranting now.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I miss the good ol' cool-down sessions of smoke breaks. Ha! I used to be such a chain smoker, and it was mainly because smoking gave me the right to ignore people whilst still getting paid. It was awesome. :(

OMG, yes--I MISS smoking, especially at times like that. It was heavenly to say fuck everything and kick back with a smoke, snarling at folks whilst surrounding myself with a lovely fog...*siiiiiiiiiiigh*. The good old days.

I'm the other guy, also manfully slapping your back and pretending with all my not inconsiderable might that that isn't my erection digging into your hip, just my very large set of manly keys. *wink*

*CRIES LAUGHING* this is why I love you! :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I'm counting the minutes--let's hope I don't make one of these suckers eat those jingle bells!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*BEAMS*

Just doing my bit, little lady. And I LOVE your icon!!!

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

:D
OOH! Roxy! My card came today! Thank youuuuu. xoxo

(AND YOU CAN STEAL THAT ICON IF IT PLEASES YOU!)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

then managers whining about why do we have queues. To which i wanted to turn around and say because we're a fucking supermarket you simpleton.

*FALLS DOWN LAUGHING!!*

I can't believe that someone would ask you to run around and do their shopping for them! People! I can't imagine asking some one in a store do what folks ask me to do!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

YAYYYY!!! YOU MIGHT GET TWO BY ACCIDENT! if you do, just ignore that second one. *koff*

AND THANK YOU MY GOODNESS YES IT PLEASES ME OH SO VERY MUCH!! :)

*shmooooch!*

[bonehed.livejournal.com]

I'm laughing loud, but with you my dear!! I SWEAR I would have paid some serious coin to see you levitate over that counter and give her a good tap. la laa la merry christmas.

soon, baby, soon - it will allllllll be over for about another 350 days.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? you know I would have looked bad, too! Me and Gina Torres' husband--nasty! ;)