le bitch, le kvetch
12/6/12 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxySee my icon? I want to be doing that. A *LOT*.
Writer's block is like...constipation. That you're doing to yourself. When you get so overthinky about a story that it becomes impossible to type. When you open a doc and stare and stare and suck down coffee and stare some more. When the only writing gets done on your head and it's the same damn scene over and over and over.
I wish you guys lived next door so I could bring my stuff over and whine and cry and make you write bits of it for me.
So, yanked out of the middle of this thing, with no background and no set up, here goes.
unexplained bitlet
JT slumped against the passenger side of the car and sighed. He shifted the paper tray of chili cheese tots from hand to hand, until Josh sighed himself and snatched them out of JT's hands. "Hey!"
"Oh please, I'm not wasting food because you're a whiny-baby homo."
"Jeez fuck, Josh, if I didn't think you could kick my ass, I'd so kick your ass, you bigoted asshole."
"Whatever, you fuckin' love me. When you're not obsessing over that idiot brother of mine."
Normally, JT would laugh something like that off, but tonight, it just hit him in a twisted way, and he felt his eyes fill.
"Oh shit—JT, man, please don’t cry, I don't mean it, you know I don't. I'm sorry; I promise I'll never say something like that again—"
"That's not—well, yeah, thanks, 'cause I kinda hate that shit, dude, but no, it's not that."
"It’s the JR thing, isn't it? I'm sorry about that too. It must really…just suck so much. You know, I'd be all over you and him. Crap, I'd pick you over his…girl any day."
"Oh, well. She's really a pretty nice person. Sort of. I don’t know, she seems to make JR happy."
"You've said that about the last three girls he's dated."
"Yeah, see? Girls he's dated. Which indicates that I've got no damn chance at all."
"JT…" Josh shook his head. "I can't help feeling that he's trying too damn hard. I think—"
"Fuck. Give it a rest Josh, please?"
Josh sighed, and shoved a forkful of JT's tots in his mouth. They finished that off, and ice-cream, and then Josh drove JT back home. JT thanked him before heading up to bed. He sat on his bed for an hour or two, working on sketches, trying not to admit that he was actually waiting for JR to call until he finally gave up. Rage shook him for a moment—JR never thought about him unless there was some trouble or shit…all was forgotten when JR's ringtone bleated on the nightstand.
"Hey, J." JR's voice sounded worn and tired.
"I thought you were out with Danni."
"Yeah…I was. I just wanted to say hey. Missed you today."
JT's fucking loser heart soared like a bird. He tried not to grin, "Yeah? Well, I missed you too—no, wait, no I didn't. Josh took me to the movies and stuffed me with coke and junk food so, not so much." He waited for JR to laugh, but there was only silence on the line…"JR?"
"Unh, nothing, J. I just kind of spaced for a second…so you had a good time…with Josh?"
"Well, he's no Jensen but yeah, we had a pretty good time. I like talking to Josh. He's kinda like my big brother too."
"Oh. Well, I'm kind of tired so I'm going to go. I'll see you 'round."
And just like that JR hung up. JT stared at the phone, listened to the empty sound of the dial tone on the line…"Well, fuck. Screw that."
JT shoved his arms into the sleeves of his faded old hoody, the one that still smelled like paint, and slipped out the front door, knowing darn well his mother heard him leave, but knowing too that she knew perfectly well where he was going.
end
do you want to read more? I just want to write an old-fashioned AU, is that so wrong? *sobs* This isn't even helpful because it's not this part I'm stuck on. I think I need to toss my original idea and just go with a high-school fic. I wanted to do a fic based on Frequency but...it's really hard! And I've confused myself. And I've had a headache for three days and my neck hurts and my tummy keeps going "Bleeeegh..."
I need hugs, lots of them. Or maybe some calming medication. Or a instructional Gibbs-slap. :(
Writer's block is like...constipation. That you're doing to yourself. When you get so overthinky about a story that it becomes impossible to type. When you open a doc and stare and stare and suck down coffee and stare some more. When the only writing gets done on your head and it's the same damn scene over and over and over.
I wish you guys lived next door so I could bring my stuff over and whine and cry and make you write bits of it for me.
So, yanked out of the middle of this thing, with no background and no set up, here goes.
unexplained bitlet
JT slumped against the passenger side of the car and sighed. He shifted the paper tray of chili cheese tots from hand to hand, until Josh sighed himself and snatched them out of JT's hands. "Hey!"
"Oh please, I'm not wasting food because you're a whiny-baby homo."
"Jeez fuck, Josh, if I didn't think you could kick my ass, I'd so kick your ass, you bigoted asshole."
"Whatever, you fuckin' love me. When you're not obsessing over that idiot brother of mine."
Normally, JT would laugh something like that off, but tonight, it just hit him in a twisted way, and he felt his eyes fill.
"Oh shit—JT, man, please don’t cry, I don't mean it, you know I don't. I'm sorry; I promise I'll never say something like that again—"
"That's not—well, yeah, thanks, 'cause I kinda hate that shit, dude, but no, it's not that."
"It’s the JR thing, isn't it? I'm sorry about that too. It must really…just suck so much. You know, I'd be all over you and him. Crap, I'd pick you over his…girl any day."
"Oh, well. She's really a pretty nice person. Sort of. I don’t know, she seems to make JR happy."
"You've said that about the last three girls he's dated."
"Yeah, see? Girls he's dated. Which indicates that I've got no damn chance at all."
"JT…" Josh shook his head. "I can't help feeling that he's trying too damn hard. I think—"
"Fuck. Give it a rest Josh, please?"
Josh sighed, and shoved a forkful of JT's tots in his mouth. They finished that off, and ice-cream, and then Josh drove JT back home. JT thanked him before heading up to bed. He sat on his bed for an hour or two, working on sketches, trying not to admit that he was actually waiting for JR to call until he finally gave up. Rage shook him for a moment—JR never thought about him unless there was some trouble or shit…all was forgotten when JR's ringtone bleated on the nightstand.
"Hey, J." JR's voice sounded worn and tired.
"I thought you were out with Danni."
"Yeah…I was. I just wanted to say hey. Missed you today."
JT's fucking loser heart soared like a bird. He tried not to grin, "Yeah? Well, I missed you too—no, wait, no I didn't. Josh took me to the movies and stuffed me with coke and junk food so, not so much." He waited for JR to laugh, but there was only silence on the line…"JR?"
"Unh, nothing, J. I just kind of spaced for a second…so you had a good time…with Josh?"
"Well, he's no Jensen but yeah, we had a pretty good time. I like talking to Josh. He's kinda like my big brother too."
"Oh. Well, I'm kind of tired so I'm going to go. I'll see you 'round."
And just like that JR hung up. JT stared at the phone, listened to the empty sound of the dial tone on the line…"Well, fuck. Screw that."
JT shoved his arms into the sleeves of his faded old hoody, the one that still smelled like paint, and slipped out the front door, knowing darn well his mother heard him leave, but knowing too that she knew perfectly well where he was going.
end
do you want to read more? I just want to write an old-fashioned AU, is that so wrong? *sobs* This isn't even helpful because it's not this part I'm stuck on. I think I need to toss my original idea and just go with a high-school fic. I wanted to do a fic based on Frequency but...it's really hard! And I've confused myself. And I've had a headache for three days and my neck hurts and my tummy keeps going "Bleeeegh..."
I need hugs, lots of them. Or maybe some calming medication. Or a instructional Gibbs-slap. :(