I Spleen My Job!

[roxy]

Or do I mean heart…?

It's a weird life, children, this life of retail slavery. People really seem to expect some kind of cross between Stepin Fetchet and Shirley Temple--the old folks know what I'm talking about, the rest of ya'll google it. And then there are the folks who think you're a sales clerk/therapist. OMG, they're not paying me to listen to your life woes! They're barely paying me enough to pick up after your ass! And yet, there are people who you let drone on and on because you know that you're the friendliest, closest human interaction they've had all week. Maybe longer. I know, sometimes I'm a sucker. There's a way to do that and maintain some distance though, also a good thing. I'm just your fitting room friend, don't get it twisted.

There's fun to be had, like the fun of dealing with the herd mentality of young girls, who act like you've severed them at the hips when you force them into separate fitting rooms...there's dealing with young boys, who think every older woman is their mother and will clean up after them, there's dealing with grown men who think every older woman is their mother and will clean up after them, there's dealing with old guys who think every older woman is their mother and will clean up after them...dealing with people who think my name tag reads "Kizzy" instead of "Roxy", which it doesn't, I'm just pretending like ya'll don't know my real boring name.

All of that, just to share this wityall!
Ten Things You Learn At A Retail Job

Some of these things, I am really bad at. Like #3. They generally don't argue with me, and cashiers used to always call me for price checks. I have this look, I guess. And #9...I've had folks try and scream at me because we don't have the thing they want. Nuts, right? I ain't got time for that. And #10--HAH! They gave up trying to call me in yeeeeeaars ago.

Comments

[capnzebbie.livejournal.com]

You should totally make a t-shirt that says "I Spleen My Job" except with a picture of a spleen. You would make a million bucks and never have to work at Target again :)

Do people know what a spleen looks like?

Maybe it could be "I Stomach My Job" because everyone knows what a stomach looks like.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!!

We'll look up a spleen and if it's photogenic, we'll use that....if not, there's always 'I large intestine my job'...everyone knows what that look like. :)

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, a spleen looks too much like a kidney:

I contemplated just posting it here, but I don't think you can do LJ-cuts on comments and, well, spleen, so here's a link:

http://img.webmd.com/dtmcms/live/webmd/consumer_assets/site_images/media/medical/hw/h9991458_001.jpg

I kind of like "stomach," since some (maybe even most) of us do barely stomach ours.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*FLINGS HERSELF AROUND YOU*

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! *GRINGRINGRIN*

omg, you're right that spleen is boring....we could put a little hat on it though, maybe a mustache or some tap shoes...or pigtails and bows, maybe little freckles and a gingham...belt? hankie?

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

OMG. #6.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

RIGHT?????????????

It's like some horrible circle of hell that's so sucky,even the devil won't talk about it. :(

[gingersnap1224.livejournal.com]

When I worked retail, the worst for me was listening to those same horrible songs over and over and over. Back then they were these big 8 track like tape things and we would go to other stores in the mall and try and trade with them. It was like the bad muzak black market.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*FALLS DOWN LAUGHING*

I just picture folks sneaking around, pulling eight tracks out of dirty trench coats and hissing at each other out of the corner of their mouths...Psssst...I got some Abba here...you wan' Smokie Robinson, some Starland Vocal Band...Rockets in Flight, dude...."

I have my Muzack scars too. ;)

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

Oh geez, if I get Afternoon Delight stuck in my head, I'm holding you responsible! That's one of those songs I will race across a room to turn off the radio in order to avoid. That list also includes Carly Simon's execrable Nobody Does It Better (ugggghghh) and anything by Stevie Nicks.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, we are so completely in agreement--I'm willing to admit that it was cruel on my part to even reference that god-awful earworm, lol!! And yes and yes to Nobody Does it and Stevie Nicks. :)

[peepingdru.livejournal.com]

U always always crack me up.....
Sooooooooooo to me u are an elbow in my life!!!!!Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!! I'm happy to be that for you! :D

[bt-kady.livejournal.com]

Oh, God! I can so relate. 1, 3, 7 and 8 were my big ones on that list. Even now, as a librarian, I still see versions of those. I so wish businesses could hang signs that say YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T WORK HERE. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF!!! Just because the employee gets a (small) wage for working there doesn't mean they become the shopper's slave. I hear you, Rox, and I more than feel your pain.

[lexophilia.livejournal.com]

This reminded me of my days working in a shoe store. It was Shoe City...Shoe Shitty to the people that worked there. People would come in with dirty stank feet and try on shoes.

[cinderella81.livejournal.com]

ROFL!! Yeah, I worked in retail ... at the registers though. But damn, I'm glad I don't work in retail anymore ...

[tabaqui]

*smishes you*

I am always agog and astounded by the stories of the messes people leave in fitting rooms. Never, ever, EVER in my life have i done that, my mother would have read me the riot act if i'd even *thought* about dropping clothing on the floor in the corner. I might not be able to get it back in the perfectly little folded way on the hanger every time, but i do my best. The Bebe knows not to do that, too. I just cannot imagine leaving it all behind. Yeesh. Hell, half the time I carry it back to the rack it got it from.

When i was a grocery cashier, years ago, omg, i did not take shite from people. I didn't care about management, i was *not* going to be called names or abused by dumb fucks. Luckily, i have a really good hate field about me, so most people didn't pull any stupid shite. I even had 'regulars'! Heh. So funny.

I would *love* to work a retail job with you - I bet you're just the most fun *evar* on the floor. :)
*smoooch*

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

Isn't it something how men of all ages think women are mom to pick up after them? Wait, I need to go have a talk with my son... Ha. He knows I'm as big a slob as he is.

Happy Day of the Mothers to you, m'dear!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

lol! And to you too, my dear! ♥

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*GASP*

IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW ME!!!!!!!!!

'specially the excrement part....oh, and the bossy pants bit....*GGGG*

[(Anonymous)]

Roxy, Indeed I can relate!. Some weeks like last I vented my spleen, bile etc. about all the crap I put up with in my job ! i wonder about the intellect or lack thereof of management and people dumping their problems on me ! Management of course smile like the trolls they are and reassures me I can handle it! A slogan I would use on a t-shirt would be : I like my job its you that I spleen! Keep your spirits up