I' m Feeling Guilty...
10/20/04 01:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxy...about the angsty stuff which is not going to lighten up any time soon, so, to make you feel better, I've decided to do something nice for you!
*leaps out in clown costume* Ah? Hanh? Better? hmmm.
*juggles knife, hand grenade, pin for hand grenade and jello jiggler* Ah? Ah? Better?
*shrugs, tosses knife, handgrenade and pin over shoulder, eats jiggler.*
Hmmm.*Explosion makes clown pants flap in breeze.*
Wait! I have it! how about..cookies!!??
I mean ...PORN?
How about some Target porn?
and if you squinch your eyes and look real careful, you might just see a little Roxy-Sue.
“Lex. Please stop criticizing the merchandise, okay? I know it’s not Harrods or Harold’s or whatever, but I like shopping here, and you’re kind of killing my buzz.”
“Your buzz, Clark? Are you watching AMC again?” He picked up a two- pack of towels from the shelf and winced.
“Clark, these towels could abrade the hide of an elephant. I can’t believe you would actually put this against your skin.”
He ambled farther down the shelves, and he felt Clark make a face at him behind his back.
“Clark, Clark,” he said as he bent over to inspect a set of sheets. “Don’t make faces, it’s not mature.”
Clark let his gaze linger on Lex’s ass and Lex moved it just a bit to the left, and of course Clark had to examine the new view.
“Clark, people are going to notice that you’re checking out my ass.”
Clark grinned and caught up with Lex, plopped a bundle of washcloths and a toothbrush holder in Lex’s arms. “That’s what’s great about Target, Lex. It’s where gay America shops. Here, carry my toothbrush holder.”
Lex sighed and looked over the washcloths the texture of burlap, and dyed in horrible acidic colors and the-- toothbrush holder? If that’s what it was, why was it in the shape of some hideously bloated cat…?
Clark smiled full force into his eyes. “It’s Garfield, cute, hunh?
No. Not at all, but at this moment, he’d kill anyone who’d try to take this ghastly cat from him if it made Clark smile like that.
Clark took him by the shoulders and steered him through an opening in the wall towards--
“The men’s department, Lex. I need some new jeans."
“Clark! I promise you I can buy you jeans, you don’t need to get them…here," he said with a sweeping dismissive gesture of the cat.
Clark frowned. “Give me back my toothbrush holder, and yes, I do have to buy my jeans here. You’re not buying my clothes. It’s not about me anyway, it’s about you and what you want me to look like.” He stomped away towards the piles of folded jeans and Lex followed on his heels.
“I just want you to look nice!”
“Oh, so now I don’t look nice, Mr. Luthor’s out and about town with his hideous companion, Quasimodo?” Clark yanked jeans off the pile and stuffed them under his arm.” Gee, I’m sorry to embarrass you by looking like everyone else in this town!” Clark’s voice had steadily risen as he hissed at Lex so that by the time he got to” town”, heads swiveled their way and glares shot toward them and yes, they were directed at him.
Quelle surprise.
Clark yanked a couple of shirts off the racks and knocked a few to the floor.
Lex bent and picked them up, shuddered as he re-hung them. Horrible.
“Clark!” Ok. Clark was really angry. He’d have to do something about that.
He followed after Clark, watched him go into what passed for fitting rooms and looked for a chair or sofa to sit down on.
The attendant watched him turn slow circles, searching.
“Help you?”
“Is there a chair, or--"
“No.”
Lex smiled at her, considered buying Target Corporation and firing her in a loud and public way.
“Clark, are you in there?”
“Yes.” Terse, barely above a mumble, but Lex heard the hurt in it, and headed back to the fitting room.
“How many items?”
Lex looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“How many items?” the attendant said in a bored tone.
Lex held out his empty arms, and cocked an eyebrow at her.
She stared back. Waited.
“Fine. No items, does that make you happy? Have I confirmed what your eyes can see? Now, unless there’s something further, I’d like to go back and see about my friend.”
Now he wanted to buy and ruin Target Corporation,draw and quarter the idiot who hired her and possibly put out a hit on her family.
She snorted and dismissed him from her universe.
Lex went back, nerves vibrating. Challenged by some …retail churl. It set his teeth on edge.
“Clark? Which pen are you in?”
“Lex!” Clark opened the stall door and frowned at him, and Lex had to admit, as he let his eyes slide over Clark’s half dressed form, the jeans weren’t bad.
“Aah…they’re hanging a little low, aren’t they?”
“They’re supposed to,” Clark replied with a hint of pout still in his voice.
Damn. Lex stepped forward, pushed Clark into the stall and covered his mouth with his hand as he shut and locked the door.
“Lex?” Clark mumbled under his palm, sending a pleasant buzz through Lex. Before he could come to his senses, he plunged his hand into the loose waistband of the jeans.
“Mmpff!” Clark’s eyes shot open and he stared at Lex in shock, but Lex grinned and pumped his hand and Clark’s eyes drooped again. He thrust his hips forward and groaned into the Lex’s hand.
Lex pulled his hand out again and Clark glared at him and mumbled a protest that died when Lex licked his palm wet, slowly and thoroughly and Clark whimpered and slammed his eyes shut when Lex pushed it back down the jeans and stroked him. Clark whined and moaned and tried to keep from slamming against the stall wall, and frantically signaled to Lex to pull the pants down lower.
Right! Let’s not pay for them if we don’t have to. He watched the head of Clark’s dick flash in and out of his fist and thought, hmmm. Could be a bit of a mess when he comes, dropped to his knees and sucked. Hard.
Clark shoved his shirt in his mouth to muffle the sounds and spilled down Lex’s throat, chewing and moaning into the fabric, and finally dropped his head back with a gasp.
Lex hummed in pleasure and sucked and licked Clark clean.
Clark slowly pulled himself off the wall and looked at Lex like he was the last chocolate in the box.
“Sit,” he whispered sternly and indicated the bench behind Lex. Lex raised an eyebrow and pointed at his watch, Clark raised both eyebrows and pointed at Lex’s crotch.
Lex sat.
Clark unzipped Lex’s pants and freed his erection, and swiped his hot tongue over the weeping head. Lex’s hand shot out and frantically grabbed for-
“Shirt?” Clark whispered. Lex nodded his head frantically, this wasn’t going to take long, his dick twitched and jerked and then he realized.
There’s a mirror in here.
He turned his head, and saw Clark on his knees, mouth stretched around his dick and hands clutching at his thighs and Lex thought,
Oh my god …I love shopping.
He watched Clark sink down on him until his nose was pressed into Lex’s groin, his hair falling forward and tickling his stomach.Oh. My god.
The sight of Clark’s head in his lap, and his hands on Lex’s bare thighs made Lex thrust up hard, and Clark held him down, his head nudged Lex’s shirttails out of the way, and his elbows pushed his expensive designer pants around his ankles, into the dust on the floor. And Lex did not give a flying fuck.
The sight made him shiver all over, his nostrils flared as he tried to breathe and shove more shirt in his mouth simultaneously. His eyes were glued on the mirror image of Clark, Clark’s mouth sucking wetly on him, Clark’s hands turning his knees out, opening his legs wider, Clark’s finger sliding under him, rubbing, pressing slowly until his finger popped into him, and he lifted his eyes and saw his own face in the mirror, and he looked like, like –
A man getting the most incredible blowjob of his life from his boy friend in pretty much a public place.
Which led to a hip lifting, back arching violent orgasm, and barely muffled screams into a soaking wet t-shirt.
When he was back in his brain again and capable of rational thought, he vowed to buy Clark a new shirt whether he liked it or not, because he was fairly certain he’d bitten a hole in this one.
Clark rocked back on his heels and grinned up at him.
“See? Shopping at discount stores can be a lot of fun, Lex.”
Le smiled and said, “ And now, we have to go back out there.”
Clark blushed bright red and grinned a little weakly. ”Oh. Yeah.”
Lex stood and zipped, pulled himself together while Clark dressed, and settled his most arrogant look on his face.
“It’s all about the attitude, Clark.” And swept out of the dressing room, Clark in tow.
The attendant looked up, and said,” There better not be a mess in that fitting room.”
Lex thought, a hit on her family, then search out every cousin, aunt, distant relative and have them all tortured unmercifully while she watches, maybe a judicious application of physical force right there—
And she smiled at him
Oh.Or a raise.
”Ya’ll have a nice day. Come…back any time.”
Lex looked at Clark who looked at Lex and they made a break for it. Lex looked back to see the attendant grinning at them.
A hundred lifetimes could pass and he was never coming back to this store again. Never.
and many thanks to my little![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fromward who planted this in my mind!
*leaps out in clown costume* Ah? Hanh? Better? hmmm.
*juggles knife, hand grenade, pin for hand grenade and jello jiggler* Ah? Ah? Better?
*shrugs, tosses knife, handgrenade and pin over shoulder, eats jiggler.*
Hmmm.*Explosion makes clown pants flap in breeze.*
Wait! I have it! how about..cookies!!??
I mean ...PORN?
How about some Target porn?
and if you squinch your eyes and look real careful, you might just see a little Roxy-Sue.
“Lex. Please stop criticizing the merchandise, okay? I know it’s not Harrods or Harold’s or whatever, but I like shopping here, and you’re kind of killing my buzz.”
“Your buzz, Clark? Are you watching AMC again?” He picked up a two- pack of towels from the shelf and winced.
“Clark, these towels could abrade the hide of an elephant. I can’t believe you would actually put this against your skin.”
He ambled farther down the shelves, and he felt Clark make a face at him behind his back.
“Clark, Clark,” he said as he bent over to inspect a set of sheets. “Don’t make faces, it’s not mature.”
Clark let his gaze linger on Lex’s ass and Lex moved it just a bit to the left, and of course Clark had to examine the new view.
“Clark, people are going to notice that you’re checking out my ass.”
Clark grinned and caught up with Lex, plopped a bundle of washcloths and a toothbrush holder in Lex’s arms. “That’s what’s great about Target, Lex. It’s where gay America shops. Here, carry my toothbrush holder.”
Lex sighed and looked over the washcloths the texture of burlap, and dyed in horrible acidic colors and the-- toothbrush holder? If that’s what it was, why was it in the shape of some hideously bloated cat…?
Clark smiled full force into his eyes. “It’s Garfield, cute, hunh?
No. Not at all, but at this moment, he’d kill anyone who’d try to take this ghastly cat from him if it made Clark smile like that.
Clark took him by the shoulders and steered him through an opening in the wall towards--
“The men’s department, Lex. I need some new jeans."
“Clark! I promise you I can buy you jeans, you don’t need to get them…here," he said with a sweeping dismissive gesture of the cat.
Clark frowned. “Give me back my toothbrush holder, and yes, I do have to buy my jeans here. You’re not buying my clothes. It’s not about me anyway, it’s about you and what you want me to look like.” He stomped away towards the piles of folded jeans and Lex followed on his heels.
“I just want you to look nice!”
“Oh, so now I don’t look nice, Mr. Luthor’s out and about town with his hideous companion, Quasimodo?” Clark yanked jeans off the pile and stuffed them under his arm.” Gee, I’m sorry to embarrass you by looking like everyone else in this town!” Clark’s voice had steadily risen as he hissed at Lex so that by the time he got to” town”, heads swiveled their way and glares shot toward them and yes, they were directed at him.
Quelle surprise.
Clark yanked a couple of shirts off the racks and knocked a few to the floor.
Lex bent and picked them up, shuddered as he re-hung them. Horrible.
“Clark!” Ok. Clark was really angry. He’d have to do something about that.
He followed after Clark, watched him go into what passed for fitting rooms and looked for a chair or sofa to sit down on.
The attendant watched him turn slow circles, searching.
“Help you?”
“Is there a chair, or--"
“No.”
Lex smiled at her, considered buying Target Corporation and firing her in a loud and public way.
“Clark, are you in there?”
“Yes.” Terse, barely above a mumble, but Lex heard the hurt in it, and headed back to the fitting room.
“How many items?”
Lex looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“How many items?” the attendant said in a bored tone.
Lex held out his empty arms, and cocked an eyebrow at her.
She stared back. Waited.
“Fine. No items, does that make you happy? Have I confirmed what your eyes can see? Now, unless there’s something further, I’d like to go back and see about my friend.”
Now he wanted to buy and ruin Target Corporation,draw and quarter the idiot who hired her and possibly put out a hit on her family.
She snorted and dismissed him from her universe.
Lex went back, nerves vibrating. Challenged by some …retail churl. It set his teeth on edge.
“Clark? Which pen are you in?”
“Lex!” Clark opened the stall door and frowned at him, and Lex had to admit, as he let his eyes slide over Clark’s half dressed form, the jeans weren’t bad.
“Aah…they’re hanging a little low, aren’t they?”
“They’re supposed to,” Clark replied with a hint of pout still in his voice.
Damn. Lex stepped forward, pushed Clark into the stall and covered his mouth with his hand as he shut and locked the door.
“Lex?” Clark mumbled under his palm, sending a pleasant buzz through Lex. Before he could come to his senses, he plunged his hand into the loose waistband of the jeans.
“Mmpff!” Clark’s eyes shot open and he stared at Lex in shock, but Lex grinned and pumped his hand and Clark’s eyes drooped again. He thrust his hips forward and groaned into the Lex’s hand.
Lex pulled his hand out again and Clark glared at him and mumbled a protest that died when Lex licked his palm wet, slowly and thoroughly and Clark whimpered and slammed his eyes shut when Lex pushed it back down the jeans and stroked him. Clark whined and moaned and tried to keep from slamming against the stall wall, and frantically signaled to Lex to pull the pants down lower.
Right! Let’s not pay for them if we don’t have to. He watched the head of Clark’s dick flash in and out of his fist and thought, hmmm. Could be a bit of a mess when he comes, dropped to his knees and sucked. Hard.
Clark shoved his shirt in his mouth to muffle the sounds and spilled down Lex’s throat, chewing and moaning into the fabric, and finally dropped his head back with a gasp.
Lex hummed in pleasure and sucked and licked Clark clean.
Clark slowly pulled himself off the wall and looked at Lex like he was the last chocolate in the box.
“Sit,” he whispered sternly and indicated the bench behind Lex. Lex raised an eyebrow and pointed at his watch, Clark raised both eyebrows and pointed at Lex’s crotch.
Lex sat.
Clark unzipped Lex’s pants and freed his erection, and swiped his hot tongue over the weeping head. Lex’s hand shot out and frantically grabbed for-
“Shirt?” Clark whispered. Lex nodded his head frantically, this wasn’t going to take long, his dick twitched and jerked and then he realized.
There’s a mirror in here.
He turned his head, and saw Clark on his knees, mouth stretched around his dick and hands clutching at his thighs and Lex thought,
Oh my god …I love shopping.
He watched Clark sink down on him until his nose was pressed into Lex’s groin, his hair falling forward and tickling his stomach.Oh. My god.
The sight of Clark’s head in his lap, and his hands on Lex’s bare thighs made Lex thrust up hard, and Clark held him down, his head nudged Lex’s shirttails out of the way, and his elbows pushed his expensive designer pants around his ankles, into the dust on the floor. And Lex did not give a flying fuck.
The sight made him shiver all over, his nostrils flared as he tried to breathe and shove more shirt in his mouth simultaneously. His eyes were glued on the mirror image of Clark, Clark’s mouth sucking wetly on him, Clark’s hands turning his knees out, opening his legs wider, Clark’s finger sliding under him, rubbing, pressing slowly until his finger popped into him, and he lifted his eyes and saw his own face in the mirror, and he looked like, like –
A man getting the most incredible blowjob of his life from his boy friend in pretty much a public place.
Which led to a hip lifting, back arching violent orgasm, and barely muffled screams into a soaking wet t-shirt.
When he was back in his brain again and capable of rational thought, he vowed to buy Clark a new shirt whether he liked it or not, because he was fairly certain he’d bitten a hole in this one.
Clark rocked back on his heels and grinned up at him.
“See? Shopping at discount stores can be a lot of fun, Lex.”
Le smiled and said, “ And now, we have to go back out there.”
Clark blushed bright red and grinned a little weakly. ”Oh. Yeah.”
Lex stood and zipped, pulled himself together while Clark dressed, and settled his most arrogant look on his face.
“It’s all about the attitude, Clark.” And swept out of the dressing room, Clark in tow.
The attendant looked up, and said,” There better not be a mess in that fitting room.”
Lex thought, a hit on her family, then search out every cousin, aunt, distant relative and have them all tortured unmercifully while she watches, maybe a judicious application of physical force right there—
And she smiled at him
Oh.Or a raise.
”Ya’ll have a nice day. Come…back any time.”
Lex looked at Clark who looked at Lex and they made a break for it. Lex looked back to see the attendant grinning at them.
A hundred lifetimes could pass and he was never coming back to this store again. Never.
and many thanks to my little
fromward who planted this in my mind!Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
10/20/04 06:40 pm (UTC)Now he wanted to buy and ruin Target Corporation,draw and quarter the idiot who hired her and possibly put out a hit on her family.
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
”Ya’ll have a nice day. Come…back any time.”
Yeah, like Roxy'd have any problems with them doing that in the changing room ;)
(no subject)
10/20/04 07:15 pm (UTC)Better now? *hugs*
(no subject)
10/21/04 05:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
10/20/04 06:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
10/20/04 07:16 pm (UTC)*falling don now*
10/20/04 07:01 pm (UTC)*VBG*
*mwah*
Re: *falling don now*
10/20/04 07:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
10/20/04 07:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
10/20/04 08:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
10/20/04 07:41 pm (UTC)And this may be the hottest thing I've read in a long time. Now I actually want to go to my nearest Super Target, go to the dressing rooms and giggle insanely.
*hugs*
(no subject)
10/20/04 08:18 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm on my way to work now...I'll be grinning. ;)
(no subject)
10/20/04 08:17 pm (UTC)Good for Clark getting his pout on when Lex is being stuck up. So cute.
“Clark? Which pen are you in?”
I don't think I will look at fitting rooms the same way again.
(no subject)
10/20/04 08:20 pm (UTC)Ah-ha! Then my work here is done. *bows*
Lex is insanely in love with Clark, isn't he? *g*
(no subject)
10/20/04 11:05 pm (UTC)”Ya’ll have a nice day. Come…back any time.” I've always heard there were hidden cameras in those rooms...apparently so!
Before he could come to his senses, he plunged his hand into the loose waistband of the jeans. And THAT, is why loose clothes are always better than tight clothes! ^__^
(no subject)
10/21/04 04:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
10/21/04 12:26 am (UTC)That was really good, and quite funny.
(no subject)
10/21/04 04:36 am (UTC)I really needed a break! *snorf*
(no subject)
10/21/04 07:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
10/21/04 01:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
10/21/04 11:16 am (UTC)I wish I could write porn.
(no subject)
10/21/04 02:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/24/08 11:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/25/08 12:00 am (UTC)It gets boring at the fitting room sometimes...