Stand By Me 19
2/16/05 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyGetting close, we are! Soon my little chickadees! Soon! *cackles for no real reason*
Ahhh. let's say it together my friends and smile! The Previous Parts are here!
The church was packed with members and people who knew the boy, teachers from school, a counselor, the music teacher and some students there to show respect. Clark almost growled. If they’d shown some respect when he was alive….
Two elderly ladies that Kevin had helped out and been friends with were also there, weeping openly. It seemed to Clark they were taking Kevin’s death harder then Kevin’s own parents. His father stood dry-eyed, stiff as a soldier and his mother sat hunched in the pew, head down and a handkerchief pressed tight to her face. The service danced around his suicide, danced around his sexuality. No one actually came out and said he deserved to die, but Clark felt it simmering under the words of the people around him. He could see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices. They’d wait until they got behind closed doors and then tear Kevin into shreds.
Memories of his friend filled his mind. He saw Kevin laughing at something he’d written; saw him walking down the hall at school with his head down trying to avoid eyes. He saw Kevin sitting alone in a booth at the soda fountain. He saw Kevin watching the basketball team practice, longing in his eyes, meeting Clark’s eyes and—smiling, finally having found a friend.
How did he not see this coming? What happened? Was it his fault-- being so wrapped up in his own problems the last few days that he locked out Kevin? His eyes swept the church looking for Lex and he felt a ghost of relief he wasn’t there, relief that turned to hurt. He sighed deeply, that familiar ache growing bigger and more painful all tangled and caught up in his sorrow for Kevin, and the guilt he felt.
A tear fell to the dark wood of the pew, rolling on its heavily waxed surface. He watched it flow along the round edge and drop to the worn wood floor, sinking in instantly.
Gone.
He shuddered, and Chloe made a tiny nose, reminding him she stood at his side. She reached over and squeezed his hand. Dad looked over and frowned a little and patted his arm and Clark felt comforted not at all.
A chill breeze blew through the trees, and Chloe pulled her wool jacket a little closer about her, shivered as she pulled her hat down lower and stepped closer to Clark.
He looked at Kevin’s parents standing by the open grave. They watched the coffin being lowered, a few words were spoken and – that was it. A life was tidily put away—soon to be forgotten by most, a life erased and dust blown over the footsteps. Only a modest granite marker, still to come, would mark the passage of his time on earth.
Kevin Taylor, a very short, unhappy life.
His parents walked swiftly away from the gravesite, leaving the tiny group without acknowledging their presence at all. These were not people his parents knew, they were people Kevin knew, and suspect because of it.
The old ladies were there at the grave side also, leaning heavily into each other, patting at their eyes with embroidered hankies and when Clark and Chloe passed them, they stopped them to tell them what a good boy Kevin was, how kind, how helpful, so selfless—wasn’t it awful to lose someone so lovely? They’d miss him. Clark nodded and agreed and made a mental note to check on them from time to time. He owed Kevin that.
The two friends walked slowly along the road leading back to town. It was crisp enough to make Chloe’s cheeks and nose pink, and Clark stopped her to button up her jacket. She rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.
“You know, I can button my jacket myself—I’m not a helpless princess. And speaking of princess, guess who’s fighting all the time? Yep. Your friends and mine, the King and Queen of Smallville High. The perfect couple.”
“You mean Whit—Lana…?”
She pointed at him. “Wow, give the man a cigar! Yes, Whitney and Lana, I hear they fight and argue all the time--sounds like one of them’s getting ready to ankle, Clark.”
She nudged him in the ribs. “Looks like it’s time for you to swoop in and woo fair damsel, buddy-boy.” She winked. “I think Whit’s finally fumbled. He even tried to sweet talk me, can you believe it?” Chloe turned a little pinker and Clark wondered how successful Whitney was.
“And speaking of Whitney,” she continued, “did you know he’d been mentioned in the suicide note?”
“What note? Kevin left a note and you’re just telling me now?” Clark yelled at Chloe and she shrank back.
“I—I m sorry—I didn’t think—well, of course you were friends with him…” She looked frightened and Clark immediately felt guilty for losing his temper with her. "I meant to tell you, but I--I forgot, sorry."
“Why do you know about it?” Clark asked and tried to control his irritation.
“Agnes—she’s in my Latin class—her brother works at the funeral home—They found the note in his pocket.”
Clark grabbed Chloe by her arm, hard. “What did it say, Chloe?”
“Ow—he said--he just apologized to his parents and to you and to Whitney—Clark let go of my arm!”
“What—Whitney? Why? Clark was startled.
Chloe stared at him—“I don’t know, didn’t you know they were friends?”
“Not as far as I knew.” Clark said thoughtfully. “He never said…Kevin I mean…”
Chloe said, “I thought Kevin told you everything.” She looked at him thoughtfully as she rubbed her arm, a measuring look in her eyes.
“So did I.” Clark mused.
He took his leave of Chloe as quickly as was polite, and trotted back out to the grave yard. He found a quiet spot and closed his eyes. He blocked out the sound of birds overhead, the sound of the breeze tossing leaves around, the sound of his breath in his chest, blocked out the sound of his own heart and concentrated on a sound become familiar and precious to him. Whitney’s heartbeat—fast, erratic…he sped towards it, and it changed as he listened and he heard—crying? Was Whitney crying? Not possible—
The sound led him towards the lake, and he knew he’d find him at the dock. Clark stopped a short distance from where Whitney sat and walked the rest of the way, as much to try and figure out what to say to the boy as to look –normal.
Some sound, something had tipped him off to his arrival, Whitney was just too casual when he approached. He was leaning against a tree, hands behind his head and eyes closed. He looked up at Clark and Clark saw his face was dry, but his eyes were red and a little swollen.
He grinned up at Clark. “Where have you been lately? And what are you dressed up for?”
Clark dropped down into the dirt next to him, heedless of his Sunday suit. “Don’t fuck around with me. Whitney. What did you do to Kevin?”
For a moment Whitney was stunned speechless—and then his face darkened. “What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to Kevin.” He scrambled to his feet and tried to walk away from Clark, but everywhere he turned, Clark was there, and Clark was furious.
“Stop lying to me! What did you do to Kevin? Why did he apologize to you?” he reached out to grab Whitney’s shoulder, but dropped his hand to hold his wrist in a loose grip instead. “He left a note. He apologized to me, and to you in the note. Why did he do that, Whit?”
“He did what?” Whitney shook. When he spoke, it was more to himself then Clark. “He---He did what he wanted to—I just…he did what he wanted.” He tried to pull away from Clark, but Clark wouldn’t let go.
“Whitney, I love you but you’re a selfish bastard and in serious need of--of Jesus. Or a conscience or at least a fucking sense of responsibility!” He let go of Whitney then, he was so angry at that point he was shouting, and he didn’t trust himself to hold onto him. “Look what you’ve done!”
Whitney paled a bit and backed away from Clark. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Now you need to leave me alone, okay. Go away, please.”
He looked flustered when Clark didn’t back down, and Clark folded his arms and sighed heavily. Whitney…
“You do something to people; I can feel it. Yes, I know.” He said to Whitney’s panicked look, “I don’t think you mean to hurt them, but somehow you do something to people. And what ever it is you do, you did to Kevin.”
“I didn’t do anything! Don’t blame me if he was stupid enough to kill himself!” Whitney yelled as tears ran down his face.
“God, Whit! Don’t say that! If I thought you meant it…I care about you—I care a lot, but what you do…you have to know it’s wrong. Is that what you did to Lex—Lana…” Clark shook his head. “You can’t run someone’s life. You can’t take free will from them. The people you play with are real—they hurt, you know. You hurt people and walk away like it was no big deal.”
Whitney flinched at Clark’s words.
“And you know what, you hurt me. Learn to think about something else besides yourself--”
“I am! “ Whitney yelled. “I’m trying to help. You just don’t--” He stopped and stared at Clark, his mouth in a tight line, his eyes blazing. “I am trying to help. You‘ll see.”
“Don’t do this anymore Whitney—I’m…I’m going to go now. I need some time to-- to try and forgive you for what you did. And Whitney, you need to ask for forgiveness.” Clark wasn’t sure anymore if he meant for Kevin or Lex or himself. He walked away, leaving Whitney by himself on the shore of the lake.
Whitney yelled after Clark, “You think I don’t know--What the *fuck* do you think I’ve been doing! Fuck you Clark!”
He dropped back to the ground and wrapped his arms over his head. “Fuck you Clark,” he whispered. “Fuck you.”
He rocked back and forth on the ground, words pouring out through his clenched teeth. “I know you hear me, you know I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I swear to God, I’m so sorry…”
and it keeps on coming
Ahhh. let's say it together my friends and smile! The Previous Parts are here!
The church was packed with members and people who knew the boy, teachers from school, a counselor, the music teacher and some students there to show respect. Clark almost growled. If they’d shown some respect when he was alive….
Two elderly ladies that Kevin had helped out and been friends with were also there, weeping openly. It seemed to Clark they were taking Kevin’s death harder then Kevin’s own parents. His father stood dry-eyed, stiff as a soldier and his mother sat hunched in the pew, head down and a handkerchief pressed tight to her face. The service danced around his suicide, danced around his sexuality. No one actually came out and said he deserved to die, but Clark felt it simmering under the words of the people around him. He could see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices. They’d wait until they got behind closed doors and then tear Kevin into shreds.
Memories of his friend filled his mind. He saw Kevin laughing at something he’d written; saw him walking down the hall at school with his head down trying to avoid eyes. He saw Kevin sitting alone in a booth at the soda fountain. He saw Kevin watching the basketball team practice, longing in his eyes, meeting Clark’s eyes and—smiling, finally having found a friend.
How did he not see this coming? What happened? Was it his fault-- being so wrapped up in his own problems the last few days that he locked out Kevin? His eyes swept the church looking for Lex and he felt a ghost of relief he wasn’t there, relief that turned to hurt. He sighed deeply, that familiar ache growing bigger and more painful all tangled and caught up in his sorrow for Kevin, and the guilt he felt.
A tear fell to the dark wood of the pew, rolling on its heavily waxed surface. He watched it flow along the round edge and drop to the worn wood floor, sinking in instantly.
Gone.
He shuddered, and Chloe made a tiny nose, reminding him she stood at his side. She reached over and squeezed his hand. Dad looked over and frowned a little and patted his arm and Clark felt comforted not at all.
A chill breeze blew through the trees, and Chloe pulled her wool jacket a little closer about her, shivered as she pulled her hat down lower and stepped closer to Clark.
He looked at Kevin’s parents standing by the open grave. They watched the coffin being lowered, a few words were spoken and – that was it. A life was tidily put away—soon to be forgotten by most, a life erased and dust blown over the footsteps. Only a modest granite marker, still to come, would mark the passage of his time on earth.
Kevin Taylor, a very short, unhappy life.
His parents walked swiftly away from the gravesite, leaving the tiny group without acknowledging their presence at all. These were not people his parents knew, they were people Kevin knew, and suspect because of it.
The old ladies were there at the grave side also, leaning heavily into each other, patting at their eyes with embroidered hankies and when Clark and Chloe passed them, they stopped them to tell them what a good boy Kevin was, how kind, how helpful, so selfless—wasn’t it awful to lose someone so lovely? They’d miss him. Clark nodded and agreed and made a mental note to check on them from time to time. He owed Kevin that.
The two friends walked slowly along the road leading back to town. It was crisp enough to make Chloe’s cheeks and nose pink, and Clark stopped her to button up her jacket. She rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently.
“You know, I can button my jacket myself—I’m not a helpless princess. And speaking of princess, guess who’s fighting all the time? Yep. Your friends and mine, the King and Queen of Smallville High. The perfect couple.”
“You mean Whit—Lana…?”
She pointed at him. “Wow, give the man a cigar! Yes, Whitney and Lana, I hear they fight and argue all the time--sounds like one of them’s getting ready to ankle, Clark.”
She nudged him in the ribs. “Looks like it’s time for you to swoop in and woo fair damsel, buddy-boy.” She winked. “I think Whit’s finally fumbled. He even tried to sweet talk me, can you believe it?” Chloe turned a little pinker and Clark wondered how successful Whitney was.
“And speaking of Whitney,” she continued, “did you know he’d been mentioned in the suicide note?”
“What note? Kevin left a note and you’re just telling me now?” Clark yelled at Chloe and she shrank back.
“I—I m sorry—I didn’t think—well, of course you were friends with him…” She looked frightened and Clark immediately felt guilty for losing his temper with her. "I meant to tell you, but I--I forgot, sorry."
“Why do you know about it?” Clark asked and tried to control his irritation.
“Agnes—she’s in my Latin class—her brother works at the funeral home—They found the note in his pocket.”
Clark grabbed Chloe by her arm, hard. “What did it say, Chloe?”
“Ow—he said--he just apologized to his parents and to you and to Whitney—Clark let go of my arm!”
“What—Whitney? Why? Clark was startled.
Chloe stared at him—“I don’t know, didn’t you know they were friends?”
“Not as far as I knew.” Clark said thoughtfully. “He never said…Kevin I mean…”
Chloe said, “I thought Kevin told you everything.” She looked at him thoughtfully as she rubbed her arm, a measuring look in her eyes.
“So did I.” Clark mused.
He took his leave of Chloe as quickly as was polite, and trotted back out to the grave yard. He found a quiet spot and closed his eyes. He blocked out the sound of birds overhead, the sound of the breeze tossing leaves around, the sound of his breath in his chest, blocked out the sound of his own heart and concentrated on a sound become familiar and precious to him. Whitney’s heartbeat—fast, erratic…he sped towards it, and it changed as he listened and he heard—crying? Was Whitney crying? Not possible—
The sound led him towards the lake, and he knew he’d find him at the dock. Clark stopped a short distance from where Whitney sat and walked the rest of the way, as much to try and figure out what to say to the boy as to look –normal.
Some sound, something had tipped him off to his arrival, Whitney was just too casual when he approached. He was leaning against a tree, hands behind his head and eyes closed. He looked up at Clark and Clark saw his face was dry, but his eyes were red and a little swollen.
He grinned up at Clark. “Where have you been lately? And what are you dressed up for?”
Clark dropped down into the dirt next to him, heedless of his Sunday suit. “Don’t fuck around with me. Whitney. What did you do to Kevin?”
For a moment Whitney was stunned speechless—and then his face darkened. “What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to Kevin.” He scrambled to his feet and tried to walk away from Clark, but everywhere he turned, Clark was there, and Clark was furious.
“Stop lying to me! What did you do to Kevin? Why did he apologize to you?” he reached out to grab Whitney’s shoulder, but dropped his hand to hold his wrist in a loose grip instead. “He left a note. He apologized to me, and to you in the note. Why did he do that, Whit?”
“He did what?” Whitney shook. When he spoke, it was more to himself then Clark. “He---He did what he wanted to—I just…he did what he wanted.” He tried to pull away from Clark, but Clark wouldn’t let go.
“Whitney, I love you but you’re a selfish bastard and in serious need of--of Jesus. Or a conscience or at least a fucking sense of responsibility!” He let go of Whitney then, he was so angry at that point he was shouting, and he didn’t trust himself to hold onto him. “Look what you’ve done!”
Whitney paled a bit and backed away from Clark. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Now you need to leave me alone, okay. Go away, please.”
He looked flustered when Clark didn’t back down, and Clark folded his arms and sighed heavily. Whitney…
“You do something to people; I can feel it. Yes, I know.” He said to Whitney’s panicked look, “I don’t think you mean to hurt them, but somehow you do something to people. And what ever it is you do, you did to Kevin.”
“I didn’t do anything! Don’t blame me if he was stupid enough to kill himself!” Whitney yelled as tears ran down his face.
“God, Whit! Don’t say that! If I thought you meant it…I care about you—I care a lot, but what you do…you have to know it’s wrong. Is that what you did to Lex—Lana…” Clark shook his head. “You can’t run someone’s life. You can’t take free will from them. The people you play with are real—they hurt, you know. You hurt people and walk away like it was no big deal.”
Whitney flinched at Clark’s words.
“And you know what, you hurt me. Learn to think about something else besides yourself--”
“I am! “ Whitney yelled. “I’m trying to help. You just don’t--” He stopped and stared at Clark, his mouth in a tight line, his eyes blazing. “I am trying to help. You‘ll see.”
“Don’t do this anymore Whitney—I’m…I’m going to go now. I need some time to-- to try and forgive you for what you did. And Whitney, you need to ask for forgiveness.” Clark wasn’t sure anymore if he meant for Kevin or Lex or himself. He walked away, leaving Whitney by himself on the shore of the lake.
Whitney yelled after Clark, “You think I don’t know--What the *fuck* do you think I’ve been doing! Fuck you Clark!”
He dropped back to the ground and wrapped his arms over his head. “Fuck you Clark,” he whispered. “Fuck you.”
He rocked back and forth on the ground, words pouring out through his clenched teeth. “I know you hear me, you know I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I swear to God, I’m so sorry…”
and it keeps on coming
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
2/17/05 04:06 am (UTC)And it was definitely time for Clark to blow up. I'm just glad he didn't set anything on fire.
And hey! Where was Lex? I'm WORRIED about him. After Whitney's stupidity with Lionel, what the hell will be the consequences for Lex? Claaaarrrk! You need to save your Woobie!
(no subject)
2/17/05 04:26 am (UTC)So, what do you think--I have some serious work to do on the next couple of bits-- should I post what I have now and clear the boards so to speak? Or is that just too much at once?
I'm glad you approve of Whit's spanking.*G*
(no subject)
2/17/05 04:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
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2/17/05 05:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
2/17/05 04:41 am (UTC)I like that Whitney is all "I'm trying to help. You just don't--" He stopped and stared at Clark, his mouth in a tight line, his eyes blazing. "I am trying to help. You'll see." - I am trying to be worthy of you, give me a chance. It's very sweet and seriously wrong-head, but at least it's sweet first.
Clark is so outgrowing Smallville. He is going to leave and I don't know if he is ever going to come back. Because while he could possibly forgive the town for its prejudices and exclusionary society, I worry about his relationship with his parents. We haven't gotten to know much about the Kents and how they function in the Smallville society. I mean we know that the Kents are religious and don't want Clark "sinning" by using his powers. But what is their reactions to Clark's expanded consciousness, to what will be his choice of life partner(s).
Nice section.
(no subject)
2/17/05 05:02 am (UTC)The time period and small town attitudes are working against all of them. there's not much room for big happy finishes here. Small ones, yes.
(no subject)
2/17/05 05:37 am (UTC)Judged by the company you keep and all that - I try and keep good company. ;-]
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2/17/05 06:23 am (UTC)(no subject)
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2/17/05 06:30 am (UTC)Loved it.
:)
(no subject)
2/17/05 06:46 am (UTC)*wails*
2/17/05 06:37 am (UTC){{huggles}}
Re: *wails*
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2/17/05 07:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
2/17/05 08:03 am (UTC)Well written, I really enjoyed it.
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2/19/05 08:18 am (UTC)Oh, my goodness... It's all becoming angst!!
*snerk*
It's lovely, really.
:)
*bounce*
More!!
*scampers*
(no subject)
2/19/05 08:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
2/19/05 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
2/19/05 08:51 pm (UTC)