Stand By Me 21
2/18/05 10:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyParts 1 through 20 are here
Clark found himself standing at the church doors, no idea why he was there again.
He opened the door, and quietly stepped inside. He stood just inside the doors with his eyes closed, trying not to call out for Lex. He walked to the last row of pews, his footsteps echoing strangely in the total silence. The pew creaked loudly, the old wood settling dryly with his weight. He hung his head and waited for—what, he wasn’t sure. Enlightenment? A sign from above?
When he was little, he wanted to do everything right. The world was evenly divided into good things--here and bad things-- there. It was so easy to believe, proof was all around him, in the sun that warmed him, in the grass that tickled him, in the bugs that amazed him, even in the creamy taste of his oatmeal…it was so good because God *made* it good.
And then…you start getting older, and thinking more and…things happen to you and people happen to you…and before you know it, you’d all alone in your mind and there’s an ach in the middle of you—A tear rolled down Clark's cheek and he slapped it away. He’d cried enough this day…he felt almost envious of Kevin. He’d never have to deal with any of this again. He was sleeping peacefully and would never ever have this heart break again.
A creak of the floorboards snapped him back to himself, and a smell of roses and wax and old paper filled his nose and his skin suddenly felt too sensitive.
“Clark?” A tentative touch on his shoulder made him collapse. He slumped against the back of the pew in front of him. “Lex, Lex…” he whispered against the backs of his hands.
Lex slid next to him. “Clark—I’m sorry, so sorry I wasn’t here, I didn’t think you’d want to see me after the way I behaved.”
Clark pressed his eyes tightly shut “No, I didn’t want to see you—because you know what I am. Lex, I’m a freak, a monster—I should be dead, not Kevin.”
Lex’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “Don’t say that! Just knowing the miracle of you—it’s my lifeline Clark. *Please* don’t say things like that. I need you.” His voice was so intense; it almost vibrated in the air. Clark looked at Lex, startled speechless. "You--”
“We have a connection—destiny—a...something...from the minute we met. Don’t act surprised, you know it too. I love you. And Whitney…” He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it up off his forehead. “God. Look—we’re stuck with him.” Clark snorted and Lex grinned a little.
“You know that too. You love him--I can see it. He loves you and he and I kind of—I don’t know what you’d call it. But I guess he’s ours. He shook his head. “Jesus. We’ll find a way to make it work--*he’ll* make it work.”
Clark grinned and quickly covered his mouth, looking at Lex in shock only slightly exaggerated. “Lex—out of everything that’s wrong here, that kind of takes the cake you know—and we’re talking about it in *here*,”he whispered. “It’s very wrong.” He glanced around the room and looked at Lex from under his eyelashes.
Lex blushed. Did the boy have any idea what he looked like when he did that? He felt even warmer imagining that expression on his face when he was holding him. “I had no idea you could even think like that, let alone joke about it.” His hand slid over the seat to rest against Clark’s leg. He felt loose and so—light, as if any minute he was going to float away. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the heat radiating from Clark’s leg, the image of Clark in his arms, moving against him, made his heart beat faster.
“Yeah well, things change.” Even though Clark spoke the words with a little smile, his eyes were dark, and his words a held a sharp edge of bitterness. Lex felt something in Clark was gone forever and he felt a twinge of regret for that loss. There was pain in his eyes that hadn’t been before, he thought maybe it was the pain of Kevin’s death. He considered touching him to read him, but he’d forced it on him once--he couldn’t do it again. Better to wait for Clark to talk to him.
######
Clark wanted to speak, he just didn't know *how* to begin. He felt some regret at how things had turned out. He didn't like to think that Whitney knew how special Lex was and he still didn’t…and it was just something he’d have to get over. God knew the *boy* wasn’t thinking about it anymore. I bet Whit's probably going along his merry way right this moment—whistling while he worked, like one of those cartoon dwarves, fat little bluebirds flying around his head, and handsome princes begging him to fu--dang!
Clark glanced at Lex and hoped he couldn’t see what was going on in his mind at the moment. Lex seemed to take it as a request to explain himself. He sighed and said, “I’m sorry Clark, if I’d thought there was any possibility that you felt the same about me I'd never have done anything with Whitney…you know--I had you on a pedestal because you're so good and so very kind...I guess I thought of you as some kind of angel, sort of –untouchable and pure and--and then Whitney was there and I was feeling weak and alone and—and frankly Clark, Whitney is a—an unstoppable force of nature.”
“I know—he’s like a tornado. He just sweeps in and turns everything you ever knew upside down and twists you around and makes you think it’s a great idea. There should be Whit shelters—soon as you see him, just run!”
They grinned at each other and Lex just waited—if there was anything that happened, it was going to be Clark’s call, not his. And once again, Clark read his mind and pulled Lex closer, he leaned his head against Lex’s, gently pulling the long strands of red away from his forehead.
Lex’s eyes closed, and then he opened them again and smiled into Clark’s eyes. Clark inhaled the scent that rose from Lex’s skin, and Lex pressed closer, until Clark’s lips were pressed against his neck.
“Lex—we’re in church.”
“I know.” he said, and kissed Clark.
It was just what Clark wanted—slow, gentle, tasting—like discovering a new country. Lex’s hand moved and Clark tensed a little but he just wrapped it around the nape of Clark’s neck to bring him closer. He broke the kiss and whispered in his ear—I want you. So much.”
Clark nodded, “I want you. So much,” He echoed and pressed Lex’s hand against his cock. “Feel what you do to me,” he pressed his hand against Lex, kneading him lightly.
“Kiss me more please?” And Lex kissed him, and tasted him, his skin, his mouth, his neck and Clark rode the wave of heat and sensation welling up in him.
Part one of this bit... stay tuned although it does get some what naughtier so you may not want to....
Clark found himself standing at the church doors, no idea why he was there again.
He opened the door, and quietly stepped inside. He stood just inside the doors with his eyes closed, trying not to call out for Lex. He walked to the last row of pews, his footsteps echoing strangely in the total silence. The pew creaked loudly, the old wood settling dryly with his weight. He hung his head and waited for—what, he wasn’t sure. Enlightenment? A sign from above?
When he was little, he wanted to do everything right. The world was evenly divided into good things--here and bad things-- there. It was so easy to believe, proof was all around him, in the sun that warmed him, in the grass that tickled him, in the bugs that amazed him, even in the creamy taste of his oatmeal…it was so good because God *made* it good.
And then…you start getting older, and thinking more and…things happen to you and people happen to you…and before you know it, you’d all alone in your mind and there’s an ach in the middle of you—A tear rolled down Clark's cheek and he slapped it away. He’d cried enough this day…he felt almost envious of Kevin. He’d never have to deal with any of this again. He was sleeping peacefully and would never ever have this heart break again.
A creak of the floorboards snapped him back to himself, and a smell of roses and wax and old paper filled his nose and his skin suddenly felt too sensitive.
“Clark?” A tentative touch on his shoulder made him collapse. He slumped against the back of the pew in front of him. “Lex, Lex…” he whispered against the backs of his hands.
Lex slid next to him. “Clark—I’m sorry, so sorry I wasn’t here, I didn’t think you’d want to see me after the way I behaved.”
Clark pressed his eyes tightly shut “No, I didn’t want to see you—because you know what I am. Lex, I’m a freak, a monster—I should be dead, not Kevin.”
Lex’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “Don’t say that! Just knowing the miracle of you—it’s my lifeline Clark. *Please* don’t say things like that. I need you.” His voice was so intense; it almost vibrated in the air. Clark looked at Lex, startled speechless. "You--”
“We have a connection—destiny—a...something...from the minute we met. Don’t act surprised, you know it too. I love you. And Whitney…” He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it up off his forehead. “God. Look—we’re stuck with him.” Clark snorted and Lex grinned a little.
“You know that too. You love him--I can see it. He loves you and he and I kind of—I don’t know what you’d call it. But I guess he’s ours. He shook his head. “Jesus. We’ll find a way to make it work--*he’ll* make it work.”
Clark grinned and quickly covered his mouth, looking at Lex in shock only slightly exaggerated. “Lex—out of everything that’s wrong here, that kind of takes the cake you know—and we’re talking about it in *here*,”he whispered. “It’s very wrong.” He glanced around the room and looked at Lex from under his eyelashes.
Lex blushed. Did the boy have any idea what he looked like when he did that? He felt even warmer imagining that expression on his face when he was holding him. “I had no idea you could even think like that, let alone joke about it.” His hand slid over the seat to rest against Clark’s leg. He felt loose and so—light, as if any minute he was going to float away. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the heat radiating from Clark’s leg, the image of Clark in his arms, moving against him, made his heart beat faster.
“Yeah well, things change.” Even though Clark spoke the words with a little smile, his eyes were dark, and his words a held a sharp edge of bitterness. Lex felt something in Clark was gone forever and he felt a twinge of regret for that loss. There was pain in his eyes that hadn’t been before, he thought maybe it was the pain of Kevin’s death. He considered touching him to read him, but he’d forced it on him once--he couldn’t do it again. Better to wait for Clark to talk to him.
######
Clark wanted to speak, he just didn't know *how* to begin. He felt some regret at how things had turned out. He didn't like to think that Whitney knew how special Lex was and he still didn’t…and it was just something he’d have to get over. God knew the *boy* wasn’t thinking about it anymore. I bet Whit's probably going along his merry way right this moment—whistling while he worked, like one of those cartoon dwarves, fat little bluebirds flying around his head, and handsome princes begging him to fu--dang!
Clark glanced at Lex and hoped he couldn’t see what was going on in his mind at the moment. Lex seemed to take it as a request to explain himself. He sighed and said, “I’m sorry Clark, if I’d thought there was any possibility that you felt the same about me I'd never have done anything with Whitney…you know--I had you on a pedestal because you're so good and so very kind...I guess I thought of you as some kind of angel, sort of –untouchable and pure and--and then Whitney was there and I was feeling weak and alone and—and frankly Clark, Whitney is a—an unstoppable force of nature.”
“I know—he’s like a tornado. He just sweeps in and turns everything you ever knew upside down and twists you around and makes you think it’s a great idea. There should be Whit shelters—soon as you see him, just run!”
They grinned at each other and Lex just waited—if there was anything that happened, it was going to be Clark’s call, not his. And once again, Clark read his mind and pulled Lex closer, he leaned his head against Lex’s, gently pulling the long strands of red away from his forehead.
Lex’s eyes closed, and then he opened them again and smiled into Clark’s eyes. Clark inhaled the scent that rose from Lex’s skin, and Lex pressed closer, until Clark’s lips were pressed against his neck.
“Lex—we’re in church.”
“I know.” he said, and kissed Clark.
It was just what Clark wanted—slow, gentle, tasting—like discovering a new country. Lex’s hand moved and Clark tensed a little but he just wrapped it around the nape of Clark’s neck to bring him closer. He broke the kiss and whispered in his ear—I want you. So much.”
Clark nodded, “I want you. So much,” He echoed and pressed Lex’s hand against his cock. “Feel what you do to me,” he pressed his hand against Lex, kneading him lightly.
“Kiss me more please?” And Lex kissed him, and tasted him, his skin, his mouth, his neck and Clark rode the wave of heat and sensation welling up in him.
Part one of this bit... stay tuned although it does get some what naughtier so you may not want to....
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2/19/05 05:44 am (UTC)