(no subject)
3/3/05 02:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyHere's a little something for my beloved ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
justabi because it's been so long, and you and me like these goofy things.
There are other goofy things here, if you haven't read these before it will make marginally more sense to check out the first one at least...
Lex opened the box his father had sent him from wherever it was he was currently infesting—or more accurately, Yoshi was opening the box while Lex sipped an excellent cup of coffee in the hall.
“It’s open!" Yoshi called. Bastard
Lex sauntered into the room and bent over to look at the box on the floor, remembering distinctly that box had been on the table. He could *feel* eyes on his nether regions.
“Thank you Yoshi—that will do.”
“Maybe for you,” Yoshi muttered and flounced from the room.
Well what an incredibly ugly—what is it? Lex wondered. He opened the gold –edged note card he’d found tucked in the packing material
Lex,
I thought of you when I saw this and it would give me great pleasure to see it in your room on my return.
Your Loving
Dad.
Lex grimaced. Lately, his dad had gone out of his way to send him crap from every place he visited—a kind of Tag Sale show of affection, he guessed. If he wanted to demonstrate paternal fondness, why didn’t he just send money? Or a suicide note?
He lifted the thing out of the box. It was… perhaps a lamp—perfectly horrible, bright red and gaudy and hung with shiny dangly bits…he had to be doing this on purpose, sending him shit from around the world as his idea of a joke. Lex sighed. Fine. This can join the monkey head ice bucket on his closet floor.
He carried it into the bedroom, set it on the bedside table and waited for Clark to arrive, whose dangly bits may not have been as shiny, but were definitely more attractive. Lex turned on the lamp, imparting a cheesy porn ambiance to the bedroom. Everything seemed to glow in the jewel red light—even the tacky crystals on the lamps seemed to glow by themselves, but nothing outshone the look in Clarks eyes when he entered the red washed room. Lex didn’t even know Clark could grin like that—he’d never really noticed before how sharp and white his teeth were….
#####
Lex was still muzzy and sleepy from a night of extremely strenuous sex, when a heavy hand shook him awake.
“Regain consciousness human, and prepare to serve your Master
Lex was immediately awake and aware. Master? Fantastic! Clark was finally coming around! Now all he needed was for Henri to bring the cuffs and chains up from the trunk of the Bentley…Ah. The Bentley. Zero miles on the odometer, thousands of miles on the backseat...that Henri. He could be so clever. Lex wondered briefly if there was any chance of talking Clark into… decided he better not press his luck.
Clark yanked the covers off and Lex felt parts come to life he was certain they’d worn out the night before.
“Rise! Your ambulatory parts also, human!”
Lex leaped to his feet. “Yes, Master, ready to do your bidding, Clark--I mean, Master.”
“Puny human, call me Kal-El! Now, drop to your knees.”
Lex knew this part and dropped to his knees and did Kal-El’s bidding even though he hadn’t actually bid him to do this—
“Whaaa?…whooo—wooaahh….”
Kal-El had a goofy grin on his perfect mug and looked down at his slave. “We will do that many, many times Human.” And proceeded to make it so.
When Lex was so worn out he couldn’t speak, Kal El called in the staff.
“You will do my bidding!” he roared. They were mildly surprised. BGB had no clothes on—nice, very nice—The Bastard was in bed with only the whites of his eyes and the family jewels showing—also nice, very nice.
BGB made it clear what his bidding was—he grabbed Hans Dieter in a fierce embrace, ripped the clothes from his shaking body and proceeded to have his way with him. The others stared at each other in horror—Hans Dieter was getting it first??? They ripped their own clothes off and waited semi-patiently to do bidding too. Whatever strange thing had happened here, it was plain—it was going to be a good day.
In fact, it was a day the staff would not soon forget—Lex wouldn’t forget it--Clark *hoped* he would forget it. If it hadn’t been for the human pyramid collapsing and knocking the gaudy red-k bejeweled boudoir lamp out the of the window, who knows what would have happened, what other indignities the Alien Overlord would have subjected Lex and his staff to--darn it.
Without the effects of the lamp to convince him he was Kal-El, Supreme Ruler of Earth, Clark reverted to Somewhat Nerdy Boy, a shell-shocked and aghast Nerdy Boy. He explained to Lex that the red dangly bits on the god-awful lamp had to have been red kryptonite, and amid tears and Clark’s vows to make it up to him he told Lex that it had a horrible though thank The Powers That Be, temporary effect on him. Lex graciously accepted his apology.
A short time later, grateful for the gentle cooling breeze of a lovely spring afternoon, under the orders of the master and in complete agreement with said orders; the staff limped and wobbled about, scouring the landscape.
Someone was going to find that lamp, damn it.
justabi because it's been so long, and you and me like these goofy things.There are other goofy things here, if you haven't read these before it will make marginally more sense to check out the first one at least...
Lex opened the box his father had sent him from wherever it was he was currently infesting—or more accurately, Yoshi was opening the box while Lex sipped an excellent cup of coffee in the hall.
“It’s open!" Yoshi called. Bastard
Lex sauntered into the room and bent over to look at the box on the floor, remembering distinctly that box had been on the table. He could *feel* eyes on his nether regions.
“Thank you Yoshi—that will do.”
“Maybe for you,” Yoshi muttered and flounced from the room.
Well what an incredibly ugly—what is it? Lex wondered. He opened the gold –edged note card he’d found tucked in the packing material
Lex,
I thought of you when I saw this and it would give me great pleasure to see it in your room on my return.
Your Loving
Dad.
Lex grimaced. Lately, his dad had gone out of his way to send him crap from every place he visited—a kind of Tag Sale show of affection, he guessed. If he wanted to demonstrate paternal fondness, why didn’t he just send money? Or a suicide note?
He lifted the thing out of the box. It was… perhaps a lamp—perfectly horrible, bright red and gaudy and hung with shiny dangly bits…he had to be doing this on purpose, sending him shit from around the world as his idea of a joke. Lex sighed. Fine. This can join the monkey head ice bucket on his closet floor.
He carried it into the bedroom, set it on the bedside table and waited for Clark to arrive, whose dangly bits may not have been as shiny, but were definitely more attractive. Lex turned on the lamp, imparting a cheesy porn ambiance to the bedroom. Everything seemed to glow in the jewel red light—even the tacky crystals on the lamps seemed to glow by themselves, but nothing outshone the look in Clarks eyes when he entered the red washed room. Lex didn’t even know Clark could grin like that—he’d never really noticed before how sharp and white his teeth were….
#####
Lex was still muzzy and sleepy from a night of extremely strenuous sex, when a heavy hand shook him awake.
“Regain consciousness human, and prepare to serve your Master
Lex was immediately awake and aware. Master? Fantastic! Clark was finally coming around! Now all he needed was for Henri to bring the cuffs and chains up from the trunk of the Bentley…Ah. The Bentley. Zero miles on the odometer, thousands of miles on the backseat...that Henri. He could be so clever. Lex wondered briefly if there was any chance of talking Clark into… decided he better not press his luck.
Clark yanked the covers off and Lex felt parts come to life he was certain they’d worn out the night before.
“Rise! Your ambulatory parts also, human!”
Lex leaped to his feet. “Yes, Master, ready to do your bidding, Clark--I mean, Master.”
“Puny human, call me Kal-El! Now, drop to your knees.”
Lex knew this part and dropped to his knees and did Kal-El’s bidding even though he hadn’t actually bid him to do this—
“Whaaa?…whooo—wooaahh….”
Kal-El had a goofy grin on his perfect mug and looked down at his slave. “We will do that many, many times Human.” And proceeded to make it so.
When Lex was so worn out he couldn’t speak, Kal El called in the staff.
“You will do my bidding!” he roared. They were mildly surprised. BGB had no clothes on—nice, very nice—The Bastard was in bed with only the whites of his eyes and the family jewels showing—also nice, very nice.
BGB made it clear what his bidding was—he grabbed Hans Dieter in a fierce embrace, ripped the clothes from his shaking body and proceeded to have his way with him. The others stared at each other in horror—Hans Dieter was getting it first??? They ripped their own clothes off and waited semi-patiently to do bidding too. Whatever strange thing had happened here, it was plain—it was going to be a good day.
In fact, it was a day the staff would not soon forget—Lex wouldn’t forget it--Clark *hoped* he would forget it. If it hadn’t been for the human pyramid collapsing and knocking the gaudy red-k bejeweled boudoir lamp out the of the window, who knows what would have happened, what other indignities the Alien Overlord would have subjected Lex and his staff to--darn it.
Without the effects of the lamp to convince him he was Kal-El, Supreme Ruler of Earth, Clark reverted to Somewhat Nerdy Boy, a shell-shocked and aghast Nerdy Boy. He explained to Lex that the red dangly bits on the god-awful lamp had to have been red kryptonite, and amid tears and Clark’s vows to make it up to him he told Lex that it had a horrible though thank The Powers That Be, temporary effect on him. Lex graciously accepted his apology.
A short time later, grateful for the gentle cooling breeze of a lovely spring afternoon, under the orders of the master and in complete agreement with said orders; the staff limped and wobbled about, scouring the landscape.
Someone was going to find that lamp, damn it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
3/3/05 09:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
3/3/05 02:23 pm (UTC)And really, Conners deserved to go first, poor guy, look at what he has to put up with! *grin*