(no subject)

[roxy]

I'm feeling so good. Sitting here at my desk and writing away. Having fun.It was a very different story the other day.

I had a fight of sorts with BG. She looked at what I was writing and had a mental breakdown. Hokey Smokes, you'd have thought I murdered the Pope. I wanted to whack her so bad--she yelled and stomped off and then acted like I killed her real mother and had the nerve to cry. We didn't speak to each other for almost a whole day. I know that doesn't sound like much but for us, it's pretty bad to be that angry for so long.

and you know--I basically wanted to knock her out. I've told her and told her, this is my business, if she had private business, so did I. She's 19 and we don't have to share a brain anymore, y'know? I don't pretend to myself that she's out there pure as the driven snow, christ, I haven't lost my memory yet. But this incident let me know that maybe I shouldn't be as open about what I do...maybe I should hide. I hate to--I mean, I took my beautiful background down, I already edit my wallpapers because the girl gets upset at some of them. Shit--I had no idea how upset. *sigh*

what did I do wrong?

Comments

[thecaelum.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You didn't do anything wrong. More than anything else, sometimes realizing that your parents have sexuality at all can be very unsettling. There is a big difference between seeing yourself as proof that at some point, mom and dad did... something vague and nebulous... to realizing (via writing, in this case) that your mother does have sexuality. If she is closer to you or has certain ideas about female sexuality in general, her response could be affected by that.

I'm not familiar with your daughter or your relationship with her, but this might be a good time to have a chat with her. Nothing in-depth, more just a general sort of "You're growing up, and I appreciate you as a person" sort of opener that might lead to you guys talking about some fo the vertigo associated with realizing that parents and children are people too.

*hugs*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'd like to talk to her about this growing up thing. She's a really terrific kid, and we're close enough I think. But she's always been very close-mouthed about her personal feelings which is hard for me, because I can go on and on about what I'm feeling. I feel like I'm walking a tightrope between being intrusive and wanting to share with this kid. She's lucky I do remember so well being a kid and what it felt like. Ah well. she'll get over this and in the meantime, we're hugging and shmoozing like usual, so--*shrug* We'll see.
*hugs back* thanks darling, for being so concerned.