roxy. All Fall Down

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

Part 8

This is it, this is all she wrote. It’s been interesting, and gosh—yacky! This really got away from me, but my word, it was fun! Especially the Lana bits, poor girl.
Thank you so much for joining me here!

All Fall Down—formerly CrazyAssLana Fic.

> Lex was on his way to Clark’s room, nerves making his heart beat a little faster. He turned the corner at the top of the stairs and nearly ran into Toby.

“Oh, hey Top…what’s the word?” He grinned and shouldered the backpack that he’d dropped.

Lex sighed. “I think that should be my question for you. Why aren’t you with Clark and his parents?”

“Everything’s copasetic,” he shrugged. “The parents are up there.”

“And again, why aren’t you with him?” Lex asked and was actually glad that he had Toby to be angry with.

Toby just shrugged. “He doesn’t need me—and cool as it is to hang out and piss out your hooch into your pool, I gotta go. There’s not shit I can do for your partner anymore—it’s up to his folks and you.”

Lex wanted to protest, but he knew if Toby said it was so, it was so. He nodded and called his driver, and made arrangement for Toby to head back to Metropolis. “Right. You’re ready to go.”

Toby rubbed Lex’s shoulder sympathetically. “Now, I could leave you something good to get through this--” he peered at Lex, and shook his head “but I don’t think you’re gonna need it. That cat needs somebody at his back-- straight up. I can tell his folks aren’t gonna flake and that’s cool. Gotta say, I’m a little worried about you though.”

Lex drew back and looked down his nose at Toby. “Oh?”

Toby laughed. “Knew that’d piss ya off. I mean, don’t take on too much. You got a shit load of people who’ll help. All you gotta do is let them, dig?”

They went out to the garage, a little breeze trying to lift the ponytail that hung down Toby’s back. He turned down Lex’s offer of help with his bags, he carried the small backpack and doctor’s bag was the only other luggage he had, he made a point of traveling light.

At the garage, where Lex’s driver waited to take Toby back to Metropolis, Toby stopped and pulled a thin wrinkled joint out from behind his ear. “A little buddah is always good for what ails the human spirit.” He grinned and lit up. “Don’t fuck around, Top,” he said through a cloud of smoke. “Reach out—those people around you? They’re what we call friends—fuck, I think they’re family.”

Lex watched the car pull away and thought about what Toby said.
Maybe he was right. Maybe.
*****

Martha was waiting for him when he came back to the house.

“Clark is awake.” Lex felt fear crawl up his throat—she had tears in her eyes. Under her tan, she looked grayish, worn out from fear and worry and not nearly enough sleep. Her eyes looked haunted, and Lex feared for the worst.

Lex took a quick breath and struggled to speak normally. “What—what is it?” don’t tell me He took her hand and she collapsed against him. “He won’t speak to me!” she wailed into his chest. “He acts like we’re not there!”

Hot tears soaked his shirt, her hands were twisted in the fabric, and he did the only thing he could think of to do—he held her and promised her over and over until it took on the soothing tone of a lullaby, promised her that Lana would suffer, that Clark would recover, and he would devote his life to him.

When Martha’s sobs quieted, Lex slowly, gently unclasped her hands and tilted her face up to his. “Toby wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t healing properly. He may be scary but he is a competent doctor.”

Martha looked lost. “I don’t think it has anything to do with his body—it’s…” She shuddered and misery poured off of her in waves, filling him with doubt and a growing whisper of despair. He shoved it down and pat Martha’s hand. “Go down to the kitchen, tell Cook to get some coffee or something for you, okay? I’m going up now. I’ll send Jonathan down to sit with you…it’s probably pointless to ask you this, but please try to relax?”

Martha snorted briefly and a shadow of a smile graced on her lips. “All right Lex—I’ll try.” He smiled at her and watched her walk away, the smile dying as soon as she turned.
******

He was standing in the doorway, looking at Clark. It was miraculous how much he’d changed. He was still thin, still horribly pale, but the greenish cast to his skin had vanished, the open sores around his wrists and ankles, the abrasions and lacerations were gone—there was barely a bruise left. But he looked—empty. Closed and shuttered—gone.

Jonathan rose from his seat at Clark’s side when he saw him and motioned Lex to come close. “I’ve been talking to him non-stop. He doesn’t answer. I’m not even sure if he hears me.”

Lex shuddered. God—did they save him just to lose him?

“I—I think if you sit with him, it may help, maybe if he hears your voice, it’ll make him…I don’t know—wake up, respond….”

Lex shook his head violently. “No, not me. He loves you. You’re his parents, I’m just—maybe Pete, or Chloe—his friends…”

Jonathan looked furious. He took a step towards Lex and Lex flinched when he grabbed his shoulders in a stronger grip then he would have expected from the man.

“Screw that Lex— *you’re * the one who moved heaven and earth to find him—to save him. You’re protecting him now—he wants you near. I feel it.” He walked away, over his shoulder he said, “I’m going to sit with Martha, tell her I love her, let her know she’s got me to depend on no matter what. You understand?” He went through the door and closed it behind him.

Lex couldn’t speak. He could barely think. He felt like he was trapped in a whirlpool and sinking deeper and deeper below the surface.

He walked stiffly to the side of the bed and looked down at the pale pinched face.
“Clark,” he whispered. “Hi. I’m here. Right here by the side of your bed okay? Your mom and dad are close by if you need them.” He sat, and laid his hand on Clark’s arm. It was frightening how cold he was compared to the heat that he remembered. His hair was tumbled across his forehead and hanging over his eyes, and Lex brushed it back. Clark’s eyes shot open and he stared at Lex—no recognition in his eyes, just fear—terror.

It tore Lex’s heart to see naked fear in those green eyes where there’d always been warmth and cheerfulness—sometimes a little sadness but never this dark horror.
“Clark, oh Clark. I’m so sorry, god—I’m so fucking sorry.”

Lex started when Clark’s lips parted and he spoke in a halting rusty whisper, “You can’t fool me. You’re not real.” He closed his eyes again.

“Clark—it’s me—I swear.”

Clark kept his eyes closed and shook his head a little from side to side. “No. Lying.”

Lex grabbed his arms and shook him a little. “Fuck-- Clark—it’s me! Look!”

Clark squeezed his eyes shut and muttered to himself. “Not fooling me—no more—not coming back….”

Lex wrapped his hands around Clark’s face and kissed him, a soft hesitant press of lip to lip; he kissed him and told him how much he loved him and begged him to please come back, he needed him, he couldn’t live if he went away, told him that even before he met him, he’d loved him—it had to be true because he loved him so very, very damn much. He begged him not to make him cry, he’d done enough of that for a fucking lifetime and kissed him again…

And Clark smiled.
******

Clark heard the hallucination tell him he was done fucking crying and laughed. That was a new one. The damn things were developing a sense of humor. He was about to let go, and get some real sleep, down in the warm dark soft place, a place where he could sleep all he wanted but something tugged at him, some nagging sense of something he needed to do…he felt a warm press against his lips and it didn’t scare him. It was…nice. It was really nice. He worked up the courage to open his eyes, if it was Her…god—he was going to make Her kill him, he didn’t have the strength to hang on any more….

He opened his eyes and saw Lex over him. But that couldn’t be right—Lana had killed Lex in the cellar—she’d torn his throat open, he’d seen the blood all over Lex, felt it spraying his skin. It couldn’t be Lex. Lex was dead.

“Clark—Clark, please, it’s okay to keep your eyes open, she can’t hurt you anymore. She can’t ever hurt anyone again—I promise you that.”

Clark’s hand shot out and seized Lex’s wrist in an iron grip—he gasped slightly and winced but didn’t try to pull free. Clark shifted his grip, ran his hand over Lex’s and pushed his fingers between his, “Lex—is it really you? Please be real--”

Lex nodded and climbed onto the bed next to Clark. “Yes, it’s really me, feel.” He stroked Clark’s fingers over his cheek, and pressed a quick dry kiss against them.

Clark scooted upright against the headboard, staring open-mouthed. “But you died.”

Lex grinned, the lop-sided grin that Lex flashed sometimes, the one that could mean, ‘I love you’ or ‘I hate you’—you had to watch his eyes, not his mouth. Clark could see it in his eyes. Love He whined, high-pitched and desperate and scrambled into Lex’s lap, heedless of elbows and knees ramming into Lex’s body, wrapped his arms around him and began to wail. It frightened Lex, even knowing what had happened to him—the depth of Clark’s anguish frightened him.

He held Clark--he rocked back and forth on the bed, listening to him howl, feeling his tears soaking his still damp shirt, knowing he’d be painfully bruised from head to toe in the morning as Clark shifted his grip, dug his fingers in and wouldn’t let go.

Lex didn’t give a damn.

He’d have killed anyone that tried to separate them.

His voice went hoarse from soothing Clark, his arms were numb from being trapped under Clark’s and his nose bled a little from making hard contact with Clark’s head, and he was content to sit there.

Martha came in and out of the room, smoothing Clark’s hair, talking to him, rubbing his back. He wouldn’t let go of Lex but he stopped crying and eventually Martha was able to get him to let go of Lex’s arms and finally he fell asleep, but this time, he wasn’t frowning in his sleep, and his fingers were loosely wrapped around Lex’s.
*****

The only sound at this level of the facility was that of his boot heels hitting the steel plates of the floor. Sconces every few feet on the wall lit the way. At each intersection of the corridors, a ceiling panel lit up, and died as he walked on. He began to pick up the soft whir of security cameras tracking his movements, and nodded. Good. He walked on, came to a desk manned by two uniformed guards. They looked up with a well trained lack of curiosity, and made Lex go through the same security procedures that any one else would have gone through and silently handed him a key, and directed him through a set of glass doors.

Through the double set of door, the atmosphere changed, became somewhat that of…a dormitory. Down this hall, there were many doors—some were open on pleasantly homey rooms, music played, he could hear conversation, people moved about, watched him as he went by—he recognized a few faces…one or two he’d brought here personally…—the guards in this part of the facility dressed in street cloths and smiled a lot.
The amount of security cameras doubled.

One of the guards seemed to wander idly in his direction, smiled at him in a polite, professional way. “Good afternoon, Mr. Luthor.” He walked with Lex down the corridor, exchanging inconsequential small talk until they were again at a section that was quiet and empty.
The guard inserted a key into a slot next to a set of elevator doors and stepped aside.

“Thank you, Stan.” Lex inserted his own key after and walked into the car as the doors opened, turned to face the guard and smiled as the doors slid shut.

He experienced a strange moment of disorientation as the car moved sideways and after a few moments came to a stop. He pressed his fingertips against the wall below a set of buttons and a panel popped open, revealing a single button that he pressed. The car descended.

The doors opened on an empty dim level. No guards, no personnel were in sight, but the walls fairly bristled with cameras.

There was a quiet hiss behind him, but he didn’t react. The sound was familiar. A cart rolled forward from behind him, the motion similar to a mars rover. A set of cameras weaved back and forth at each corner of the cart, and it rolled silently along towards a thick steel door set in a metal cube squatting in the center of the dark floor.
He could hear screams coming from the metal cube from where he stood. He smiled—a half-smile that wasn’t reflected in his eyes.

A slot in door rolled open as the remotely controlled cart made contact with it, just wide enough for an arm to slip in. A tray holding food slid forward and into the slot. Lex pressed a button that activated the intercom. “How are we today, Miss Lang?”

“Let me out you cocksucker and I’ll show you. Give me some food!”

“Everything you need to maintain health is in that stew.”

“You know that’s not what I mean—feed me you freak! Feed me damn it--I can’t live like this.” On one of the several screens positioned around the level the cell inhabited, he watched her throw herself frantically against the walls, the door, howling and spitting… her head was shaved and she was shoeless, wearing a gray jumpsuit.

“Let me out!”

“Oh come now, let’s not be ridiculous—I’m not ever going to let you out. But if you behave, maybe I’ll allow you a pet—a rat, perhaps? A rat and…a set of pliers?”

“Please!” she screamed, “I need it! I need food! I’ll do anything—anything you want! Pleeeease….”

He watched her throw the stew across the narrow cell; tear at herself for a few moments…he turned to leave when she began licking spilled stew off the wall… At the elevator doors, he lets his feeling of hatred flood him, destroying the iron calm he’d maintained while he talked to her. She screamed, a blood-curdling shriek of frustration and naked desire that cut off sharply as the insulated steel doors of the elevator whisked shut.

Bitch. He was going to make sure she lived forever down there in the dark, healthy and cared for, and everyday suffering a mind shattering hunger and a need that he was going to make sure she was never able to satisfy again.
******

On Clark’s birthday, Lex came to the loft with a half dozen white roses poking their heads out of a book bag.

Clark laughed. “You’re giving me flowers for my birthday?”

“Not just flowers,” Lex smiled. “ Met U too.”

Clark paled. “—you bought Met U?”

Lex choked and laughed. “No—no Clark. I think buying a university for a—a friend is a little over the top, even for me. I just paid your tuition, that’s all.”

Clark’s face dropped, his expression closed. “Lex. I—you know I’m not—I can’t…” His voice got weaker and weaker until it stuttered to a stop, and he stared down at the floor, misery flowing out of him.

“I’m not letting you go alone, Clark. I already talked to your parents. We’re not pushing you, okay? When you think you can do it—it’s ready for you. It will be waiting." just like I am, he thought sadly, but smiled brightly at Clark.

Clark looked at him with a forlorn expression. “God, I hate that…it…it…has to wait. Lex. I’m so sorry, I know how much more you want—for me, and I--”

Lex crossed the floor quickly, pressed his fingers lightly against Clark’s mouth. Clark touched them, held them against his cheek and closed his eyes. Lex stroked the tips of his fingers over the soft, soft skin there, and made a wish. Someday…some day, it would be different. Some day, Clark would be able to have all of him. He could wait.

Clark opened his eyes, he looked miserable, mouthed soundlessly, I’m sorry.

“It’s okay. Tomorrow is another day. We’ll just take them as they come, one by one by one. You’re working so hard, Clark, trying so hard.” He took Clark’s hand in his and they headed down the stairs, back to the farmhouse. “You know we’re so proud of you, Mom and Dad, and me.”

Clark looked at him from the corner of his eye and smiled. “Yeah?”

Lex snorted. “Yeah, and you’re just fishing for compliments now.”

Clark nodded and laughed. “Yeah, pretty much—wow! Look!” He pointed up to the sky and they watched a spectacular sunset, watched the huge orange ball of the sun drop, throw out golden rays to pierce the purple and navy clouds.

Lex watched the clear green eyes sparkle with wonder at the beauty of the sunset, and knew that underneath it all, it was still wonder at freedom, and reclaiming himself.

Lex thought death blood torture pain screaming and screaming and.
He touched Clark’s hand and said, “I love you.”

9-07-2005

eta: sorry folks, i pretty much screwed this up good--forgot a whole chunk of story at the front end! This should make a leeetle more sense now! *blushgrin*

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