Deal Part 2D
8/16/06 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyTitle: Deal
Fandom: SV
Pairing:Adam and Clark
Rating: 2
previous parts of Deal
Clark dashed into the kitchen and caught the phone on the third ring; sort of hoped it might be Mom and Dad. Not that he minded being alone, he liked it. Kind of.
“Hello! How’s Metropolis? Are you having a good visit--”
“Have you seen Lex?” It was that Adam. He felt brief flare of anger.
“*Hello* to you too, and no I haven’t. Why?”
“Damn…this isn’t like him—he’s hours late and he promised me—”
He hung up and Clark stared at the phone. What a rude jerk, he thought. Clark walked out of the kitchen and thought about going up to the loft, or going to his room and watching some TV…Adam sure seemed panicked. Lex *was* a super punctual kind of guy though…it was strange.
He frowned as he replayed the conversation. Promised him…promised him what? Clark made a face and told himself it didn’t matter. It was none of his business. Probably some stupid game, some sex…game. He adjusted himself and looked over his shoulder, a little flicker of hot embarrassment making him blush. None of his business at all.
He decided to hang out in his bedroom and was stretched across the bed, wolfing down chips and watching TV when the phone rang again. Maybe this time it was Mom and Dad—or Lex. He glanced at the caller id—the castle. Lex. Good. He was home. It better be Lex anyway…“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, and waited for Lex’s voice, his chuckle. The line was quiet, and then there was a weird choking noise that couldn’t be Lex—
“…Clark…”
“Adam? What’s wrong?”
“He’s dead. Lex is dead…” Clark heard the phone drop, hit something and then, heavy breathing, and the unmistakable sound of sobs.
*****
The funeral was restricted to Lex and Lionel’s closest friends. It was a pitiably small group. Clark stood with his parents, and listened to the minister, and stared at the rectangle in the ground that was going to swallow up his friend. He heard a constant annoying sound, it battered his eardrums...he looked about the area, trying to find the source—Adam. Adam crying, sobbing like a girl.
Shut up, shut up, shut up—he hated him so much. It was his fault Lex was dead. It was Adam’s fault he knew Lex was dead.
If Adam hadn’t said anything, Lex would still be alive.
He scowled at him, seriously considering burning him in his tracks. His hands shook; he wanted to hit him so bad.
Adam looked up and Clark willed him to see how much hate he had for him, wanted to see him hurt, or be afraid, but he looked so damn hopeless. So lost, and already hurting so much, Clark was kind of shocked. He didn’t really think anyone else could miss Lex as much as he did….
Oh gosh. Adam was in love with Lex. It hit Clark like a punch. He was ‘in love’ in love. He was standing behind Lionel and crying like someone was gouging his heart out.
Clark felt pulled to his suffering like a moth to flame. He walked slowly over, step by step, aware of each footfall and each breath he took and then he was next to him, and it was ugly, how hard he was mourning, there was nothing pretty or graceful or romantic about it—just awful, drippy and snotty and he looked like he’d been gutted.
“Adam.” Clark reached out to touch his hand and Adam slapped him away, and gurgled something. Clark reached out again, slowly put his arm around Adam’s shoulder, waiting for him to strike out again but he slumped and sobbed harder.
After the funeral, Adam stood alone with Clark at the graveside. He wasn’t sobbing now, but his eyes were still wet, and when they held too much, a tear would run.
Clark said quietly, “It’s okay to cry. You loved him. You were in love.”
Adam sighed. “I was in love with him. But he was in love with you.”
Clark felt his whole body blush. “No--”
“He was. But believe me, he never would have acted on it—your friendship was more important to him than anything else in his life. Don’t let it change how you felt about him. He was a good person, a loyal friend.”
Clark looked across the cemetery. Lex had loved him. Had wanted him? If he’d said, ‘Lex I know you like me,’ Lex would have…he’d had a chance and it was gone, burned up on the side of the highway, taken from him in the blink of an eye-- was he driving too fast, driving like a maniac? Clark was horrified to feel a little bubble of laughter rise in his chest—it broke free as a sob.
The car had burned with Lex inside it, like some horrible parody of a Viking funeral, he’d burned in his beloved Porsche….
Clark felt Adam’s hands hard on him, going from gentle to keeping him from dropping as the world swam. So this was what it felt like to be sick. This is what it’s like to want to throw up, he thought. What it’s like to want to die.
*****
Clark sprawled across the bed and stared out the window, watching the clouds shift color as the sun set. He was thankful to be in bed. All day long, he waited for sleep, longed for sleep so intensely, it was desire. The only time he felt comfortable was in bed, in his dreams. Mornings came and he wanted to cry when he woke—tired already by the thought of having to drag through another awful day…
The picture of Lex he’d taped to the mirror smiled down at him. Mom hadn’t said a word when she’d seen it. She’d just cleaned around it, and kissed him on the cheek. She hadn’t said a word when other pictures of Lex appeared, taped on the wall next to the dresser, so he could see him first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He talked to Lex, just like he always did, asked him advice, told him about little incidents that’d made him smile…and that was a rare occasion anymore. Sometimes in his dreams, they talked and laughed and Lex would advise him—in his dreams, Lex laughed a lot more than he had in life. He seemed more relaxed, even happy. And sometimes, sometimes, they kissed. They touched each other like lovers and he always woke up choked with misery from those dreams. It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t ever have to wake from them. He should stay asleep and dream that Lex and he were together forever and forever. Never apart again, because they belonged together.
Clark rolled to his side and a hot tear ran across the bridge of his nose. Why did he have to know this was true after it was impossible?
Adam called a few times. Once he called to see how he was doing. It had been a short polite conversation. Once he’d called to cry. Literally--all he’d done was cry, but Clark couldn’t bring himself to hang up. He’d sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at the wood grain and listening, just breathing. Clark hurt too much to want to share with anyone, but he felt he owed it to Lex to be kind. Adam had cried, and mumbled thanks, and hung up.
The next time he heard from him, it was to tell him that he had to come to the reading of the will. Lex’s will.
next part 2E
Fandom: SV
Pairing:Adam and Clark
Rating: 2
previous parts of Deal
Clark dashed into the kitchen and caught the phone on the third ring; sort of hoped it might be Mom and Dad. Not that he minded being alone, he liked it. Kind of.
“Hello! How’s Metropolis? Are you having a good visit--”
“Have you seen Lex?” It was that Adam. He felt brief flare of anger.
“*Hello* to you too, and no I haven’t. Why?”
“Damn…this isn’t like him—he’s hours late and he promised me—”
He hung up and Clark stared at the phone. What a rude jerk, he thought. Clark walked out of the kitchen and thought about going up to the loft, or going to his room and watching some TV…Adam sure seemed panicked. Lex *was* a super punctual kind of guy though…it was strange.
He frowned as he replayed the conversation. Promised him…promised him what? Clark made a face and told himself it didn’t matter. It was none of his business. Probably some stupid game, some sex…game. He adjusted himself and looked over his shoulder, a little flicker of hot embarrassment making him blush. None of his business at all.
He decided to hang out in his bedroom and was stretched across the bed, wolfing down chips and watching TV when the phone rang again. Maybe this time it was Mom and Dad—or Lex. He glanced at the caller id—the castle. Lex. Good. He was home. It better be Lex anyway…“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, and waited for Lex’s voice, his chuckle. The line was quiet, and then there was a weird choking noise that couldn’t be Lex—
“…Clark…”
“Adam? What’s wrong?”
“He’s dead. Lex is dead…” Clark heard the phone drop, hit something and then, heavy breathing, and the unmistakable sound of sobs.
*****
The funeral was restricted to Lex and Lionel’s closest friends. It was a pitiably small group. Clark stood with his parents, and listened to the minister, and stared at the rectangle in the ground that was going to swallow up his friend. He heard a constant annoying sound, it battered his eardrums...he looked about the area, trying to find the source—Adam. Adam crying, sobbing like a girl.
Shut up, shut up, shut up—he hated him so much. It was his fault Lex was dead. It was Adam’s fault he knew Lex was dead.
If Adam hadn’t said anything, Lex would still be alive.
He scowled at him, seriously considering burning him in his tracks. His hands shook; he wanted to hit him so bad.
Adam looked up and Clark willed him to see how much hate he had for him, wanted to see him hurt, or be afraid, but he looked so damn hopeless. So lost, and already hurting so much, Clark was kind of shocked. He didn’t really think anyone else could miss Lex as much as he did….
Oh gosh. Adam was in love with Lex. It hit Clark like a punch. He was ‘in love’ in love. He was standing behind Lionel and crying like someone was gouging his heart out.
Clark felt pulled to his suffering like a moth to flame. He walked slowly over, step by step, aware of each footfall and each breath he took and then he was next to him, and it was ugly, how hard he was mourning, there was nothing pretty or graceful or romantic about it—just awful, drippy and snotty and he looked like he’d been gutted.
“Adam.” Clark reached out to touch his hand and Adam slapped him away, and gurgled something. Clark reached out again, slowly put his arm around Adam’s shoulder, waiting for him to strike out again but he slumped and sobbed harder.
After the funeral, Adam stood alone with Clark at the graveside. He wasn’t sobbing now, but his eyes were still wet, and when they held too much, a tear would run.
Clark said quietly, “It’s okay to cry. You loved him. You were in love.”
Adam sighed. “I was in love with him. But he was in love with you.”
Clark felt his whole body blush. “No--”
“He was. But believe me, he never would have acted on it—your friendship was more important to him than anything else in his life. Don’t let it change how you felt about him. He was a good person, a loyal friend.”
Clark looked across the cemetery. Lex had loved him. Had wanted him? If he’d said, ‘Lex I know you like me,’ Lex would have…he’d had a chance and it was gone, burned up on the side of the highway, taken from him in the blink of an eye-- was he driving too fast, driving like a maniac? Clark was horrified to feel a little bubble of laughter rise in his chest—it broke free as a sob.
The car had burned with Lex inside it, like some horrible parody of a Viking funeral, he’d burned in his beloved Porsche….
Clark felt Adam’s hands hard on him, going from gentle to keeping him from dropping as the world swam. So this was what it felt like to be sick. This is what it’s like to want to throw up, he thought. What it’s like to want to die.
*****
Clark sprawled across the bed and stared out the window, watching the clouds shift color as the sun set. He was thankful to be in bed. All day long, he waited for sleep, longed for sleep so intensely, it was desire. The only time he felt comfortable was in bed, in his dreams. Mornings came and he wanted to cry when he woke—tired already by the thought of having to drag through another awful day…
The picture of Lex he’d taped to the mirror smiled down at him. Mom hadn’t said a word when she’d seen it. She’d just cleaned around it, and kissed him on the cheek. She hadn’t said a word when other pictures of Lex appeared, taped on the wall next to the dresser, so he could see him first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He talked to Lex, just like he always did, asked him advice, told him about little incidents that’d made him smile…and that was a rare occasion anymore. Sometimes in his dreams, they talked and laughed and Lex would advise him—in his dreams, Lex laughed a lot more than he had in life. He seemed more relaxed, even happy. And sometimes, sometimes, they kissed. They touched each other like lovers and he always woke up choked with misery from those dreams. It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t ever have to wake from them. He should stay asleep and dream that Lex and he were together forever and forever. Never apart again, because they belonged together.
Clark rolled to his side and a hot tear ran across the bridge of his nose. Why did he have to know this was true after it was impossible?
Adam called a few times. Once he called to see how he was doing. It had been a short polite conversation. Once he’d called to cry. Literally--all he’d done was cry, but Clark couldn’t bring himself to hang up. He’d sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at the wood grain and listening, just breathing. Clark hurt too much to want to share with anyone, but he felt he owed it to Lex to be kind. Adam had cried, and mumbled thanks, and hung up.
The next time he heard from him, it was to tell him that he had to come to the reading of the will. Lex’s will.
next part 2E
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(no subject)
8/17/06 04:38 am (UTC)Right?
Don't mind me, I'm just the one over here whimpering in the corner. Or I would be, if I weren't completely sure that Adam and Clark are going to have bonding we're-both-in-love-with-Lex sex, and meanwhile that cop is, umm, feeding Lex cookies and trying in an ineffectual way to seduce him, and NOT TORTURING HIM HORRIBLY IN ANY WAY while people think that dead body is him, and eventually will get bored and let Lex go home and join in a nice threesome with Clark and Adam.
Yes, that's exactly how the story goes, in my head.
(no subject)
8/17/06 02:01 pm (UTC)ummm...yes.
All that. only, not so much cookies involved. *G*