Freefall...Again
7/12/04 12:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyHere in my shiny ole' space, I'm posting an old story that I cleaned up a bit, surprisingly not that much, go me. I hope no one minds recycling whilst I finish up Rake The Moon, and my Spike story(yoohoo,MizTQ,are you terribly, terribly busy?)
I'm feeling all --creativy and stuff.
Anyhoo, I liked it, and want it here with me *hugs it*So, without further ado--
*opens window, flings it out--Free! Free!...oh dear, don't look down...*
P.S. Liz warning:Bruce/Clark
Batman knocked his head slowly and thoroughly against the wall behind him.
‘Ass hole. Pathetic asshole.’
He listened to the noise on the street below, tensed when he heard Lex’s name being called. He knocked his head one more time and laughed a little at himself. “Asshole!” he repeated aloud.
He moved forward slightly out of the shadows on the rooftop. He leaned out just a bit over the parapet to watch the frenetic activity below on the street .The premier night of a brand new club, and those people that wanted to be, and needed to be seen, were there. And of course that meant that the city’s most well known visitor was putting in an appearance. Paparazzi hopped like fleas along the roped off sidewalk yelling out his name, and flash popped right and left like a ground level storm. In the middle of a sea of mostly bare breasts and ass floated Lex Luthor, the prize of the night. Lights jumped and burst all over him as the media flew after. Lex was money, whatever he did was cash.
On the roof, his observer frowned, taking in the sight of Lex playing party-boy. Batman leaned out a little more, his cape sweeping around his shoulders like an old time horror movie villain. He snorted quietly to himself as he thought of the picture he must make and withdrew into the shadows again. His thoughts centered on the man on the street, young Machiavelli. Lex was out to take the world, for revenge, or justice, or just to kick Daddy in the nuts. Sometimes it came down to something just that basic.
Batman sighed. Lex’s path was going exactly where he’d hoped it wouldn’t, straight into darkness.
He shifted back into the shadows, leaned his head back against a wall and closed his eyes.
He listened to the babble below, and told himself that if he tried very hard, he could make out Lex’s voice. He wondered again how that quiet, serious kid with the eyes that radiated pain had turned into a man who smiled all the time and had the hard eyes of a killer. That kid was supposed to have been protected; he was supposed to have been saved. Instead he was lost, lost to the world, lost to good, and lost to Bruce.
Behind him he heard the sound of gravel being displaced and a tiny puff of air blew past his cheek.
“Well. Surprise. You’re here.”
“Batman. I’m doing my job. I’m making sure he’s not out to foment trouble. And you? Stalking again?”
“Foment? Jesus, Clark. You’re so full of shit! Who the hell talks like that! And stalking? You followed him here, to my city!” Batman laughed silently. Though he managed to avoid him more often then not, he knew Clark, *Superman*, would turn up. He always did when Lex made the rare trip to Gotham. Clark glared at him and walked to the edge of the roof. “ You shouldn’t call me that, now. At least show me some...professional courtesy”. Batman stared at him. ‘Is he serious, for God’s sake? Just how tight is this fuck wound…. yeah, because I’m just fine….’
“Un-hunh. Courtesy.” Batman replied. He watched Clark watching Lex, watched his face move through so many different expressions, most plain of them hunger, loss… he knew those emotions intimately, they were old friends. Watching them play out on Clark’s face did nothing to salve the feelings of anger and betrayal that Clark always brought up in him. Losing Lex. It was his fault. Clark whirled around and stared at Batman, his mouth dropping open to speak, closed just it just as quickly. “Ah. Said that out loud, then.” Batman moved farther into the shadows, wrapped the cape around himself. Only Clark could see him now.
“You can’t blame me! Blame a kid for not being able to change someone’s… *destiny*!” He spit the word out like it was poison and took a step toward Batman. “I tried! I tried like he--hell! Over and over. I tried…” He dragged his hands through his hair, tugged on it viciously “Both of you acted like I had some power to change him and both of you blame me! I was just a *kid*!”
Clark flung his arms out, frustration writ over his features. His hand made contact with the wall and turned brick into shrapnel. Pieces exploded outward and one skittered across the cowl before slicing a shallow groove under Batman’s lower lip. He slapped his hand to his face, shocked.
“Fuck! Clark! What the hell!”
He couldn’t believe that Clark had lost control like that. He wasn’t surprised by the emotional outburst, he knew Clark danced on a pretty thin edge when it came to the ki… Lex, when it came to Lex, but he’d always had control over the physical. Blood was beginning to pool up on the edge of the cowl, but before he could wipe it away, Clark was there. He leaned into Batman’s space, staring down into his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry I-- I don’t know how to stop… when I see him, if I let myself really see him, I get so…” His voice trailed off, as he seemed to regain focus. He wiped blood off Batman’s chin, staring at his stained fingers. He looked at them as though they held the answer to some terrible puzzle. Batman looked past him, fought for control. He hated Clark so much in this moment, the heat of it poured through him like liquid fire.
“You lost him, Clark. You lost him.”
Clark’s expression jumped from sorrow to fury. He slammed Batman against the wall hard enough to push the air from his lungs. His hands came up to grab at Clark’s shoulders as he struggled for breath. Clark tilted his head as he watched him drag air back and started to speak in a low voice, so low Batman had to strain to hear him over his own gasping.
“I know you felt that you fixed him. I know you think I broke him, but he was always broken. You were just kids who propped each other up as best you could. I think you blame me because he loves… loved me and couldn’t love you.”
“Clark, you’re the dumbest fuck who ever lived,” Batman spit out. "You think this is about something as petty as jealousy? This is about a man who can destroy a world, who should be working to save a world! You lied to him and you broke him more, then you left him fucked up and alone!” Batman vibrated with the need to smash Clark, to run, to scream and scream for Lex. “You son of a bitch, you’re the one who did this!”
The words were full of venom, designed to hurt, but what Clark saw in the man’s eyes spoke of pain, pain so deep and wide that it took an act of greatest courage to keep moving, to keep caring. He grabbed him in that unbreakable grip and pulled Batman’s head towards his.
*******
Clark closed his eyes, and felt himself spinning away into the darkness that surrounded him. All he knew was that he needed a lifeline, something to hold on to keep from sinking further. When he didn’t feel resistance, he pulled him closer and touched his lips to the edge of the cowl, barely making contact with the skin there. “Please, I’m sorry,” he breathed out. Please, I’m tired; I’m alone all the time, wanting it to be different. I’m so tired. He stilled, waiting for Batman to push him away.
*******
The sound of Clark’s voice ripped into his ribcage and cracked him open. He sounded like a kid. He reminded Batman of teenaged Lex, fighting so desperately hard to be a real boy. He had to touch him then, as anger leached out and a tremor went through him and he touched Clark, Clark who kissed him so carefully at first, and then as though he’d been dying of the need to do it forever. He grabbed Clark’s hair; twisting the dark stands around his fingers he jerked him deeper into the kiss. It turned wet, desperate, bruising; nothing of the painful sweet longing that had drawn him into the kiss. Batman opened his eyes and watched the younger man. Clark’s eyebrows were drawn together hard and he whined deep down in his throat. His eyes jerked this way and that under his lids, and he guessed that Clark was seeing the same images that flitted in his mind.
Lex.
Warmth and a metallic taste bloomed on his tongue as the cut reopened. Clark tried to pull back but Batman bit down on his lip and wouldn’t let go. He could feel Clark relax against him, felt the lip he held still in his teeth tighten as Clark smiled. He let go, and Clark rolled the upper half of his body away from Batman, looking in to his face searching for something there. Whatever he saw seemed to relax him even more. He slid his hands down Batman’s sides to his hips.” What next, Bruce?”
“I fuck you.”
“Oh. God. Good.” Clark sagged just the tiniest bit and then pushed back hard against him, pulling at the cowl.
“Leave it.”
Clark made a breathy noise and seemed to become smaller then he was. That single action and barely audible sigh sent an electric shock of lust through him. Batman felt like he’d fallen into a dream. Nothing seemed real, not the pounding of his heart or the rasping of his breath. He looked at Clark and saw Lex. He stared into Clark’s eyes and knew that the man on *his* mind was not the caped man before him, but that was ok. He peeled the suit back from his hips, freeing his erection. Cold air hit him for a moment and than Clark sank to his knees and sucked him in. The inhuman warmth of his mouth shocked Batman momentarily, then warmth bloomed in his gut and the familiar rhythms took him back to a place he tried to forget, not a simpler time but a place he thought of as the last time he really knew who he was. As his hips rocked up, he jerked off one glove with his teeth and reached down to touch the head that moved so slowly on him. He gasped aloud when his fingers stuttered through hair; he was so gone into the memories.
“Clark--”
At the sound of his name, Clark seemed to melt away, the suit was gone and he knelt in front of him, untouched, perfect, unmarked by life. Clark raised his head to him, and what he saw in Clark’s eyes made his stomach clench. It was plain that all his scars where on inside. A wave of nausea meshed with desire crashed through him; he flung Clark about so that he fell to his knees and elbows. The gloved hand slammed down on the small of his back. Batman leaned all his weight on that hand and shoved the fingers of his other hand into Clark. Rammed them in and out violently in a way that would have a human screaming; Clark sucked in air and shoved it out through clenched teeth. He gasped and trembled and Batman could see the sweat break out and run down his spine; all the while Clark moaned and shook as though in the throes of a fever, and then….
“Now,” he sobbed.
Batman wrenched his fingers out and yanked Clark onto his dick. He let out a yell, not pain, almost despair, a wild sound, a lost sound, a sound echoed silently by Batman in the arch of his back. It trailed off into a sob as Batman began a steady thrusting, his fingers crushing down on Clark’s hips. He was grateful that Clark could take all this and more. He needed this, needed to shed his humanity, rip off the leash for a bit.
Sweat built up under the suit as he plunged in wilder, Clark’ s head was down, snapping back and forth, He fucked into the heat that seemed to be invading his body, hotter and hotter and then it was collecting in his groin hotter and tighter and Clark was moaning higher and higher till it was nearly a scream and then it was a name.
It stabbed him in the heart, stabbed him in the gut. It paralyzed him, he couldn’t move and his world was reduced to the sound of Clark gasping and moaning out Lex’s name, the sight of Clark shaking, muscles quivering as he fisted his dick and then it was too much. He was gone, flying into it, and pulling Clark with him. His orgasm twisted and shattered and shredded him as he broke and began a freefall back to reality. Back to the world and the knowledge that you can hurt yourself a million different ways, and in the end all you have is the pain.
Clark was already dressed and standing with his head down, a picture of indecision.
“He’ll know about this, you know,” Batman commented as he did the suit back up. Clark’s head jerked up, he looked horrified for a second and then resigned. “Yes, I guess he will.”
“It doesn’t matter. Things are as they are and we’re...what we are.”
Clark looked at him, eyes searching his face. Batman could feel his lips pull into what he hoped looked like a smile. Amazingly enough, Clark seemed to have a real one for him, faint and not exactly hopeful, but it washed over his features for a moment and made Bruce’s eyes hurt.
“I’ll see you again,” Clark said and was gone.
Batman stood alone on the roof in the gray of pre-dawn Oh, hell yeah. he thought. Welcome to the world as shish kabob. He laughed to himself. Come join me, beautiful. It’s so dark, and cold and we can be alone together….
2-07-2004
I'm feeling all --creativy and stuff.
Anyhoo, I liked it, and want it here with me *hugs it*So, without further ado--
*opens window, flings it out--Free! Free!...oh dear, don't look down...*
P.S. Liz warning:Bruce/Clark
Batman knocked his head slowly and thoroughly against the wall behind him.
‘Ass hole. Pathetic asshole.’
He listened to the noise on the street below, tensed when he heard Lex’s name being called. He knocked his head one more time and laughed a little at himself. “Asshole!” he repeated aloud.
He moved forward slightly out of the shadows on the rooftop. He leaned out just a bit over the parapet to watch the frenetic activity below on the street .The premier night of a brand new club, and those people that wanted to be, and needed to be seen, were there. And of course that meant that the city’s most well known visitor was putting in an appearance. Paparazzi hopped like fleas along the roped off sidewalk yelling out his name, and flash popped right and left like a ground level storm. In the middle of a sea of mostly bare breasts and ass floated Lex Luthor, the prize of the night. Lights jumped and burst all over him as the media flew after. Lex was money, whatever he did was cash.
On the roof, his observer frowned, taking in the sight of Lex playing party-boy. Batman leaned out a little more, his cape sweeping around his shoulders like an old time horror movie villain. He snorted quietly to himself as he thought of the picture he must make and withdrew into the shadows again. His thoughts centered on the man on the street, young Machiavelli. Lex was out to take the world, for revenge, or justice, or just to kick Daddy in the nuts. Sometimes it came down to something just that basic.
Batman sighed. Lex’s path was going exactly where he’d hoped it wouldn’t, straight into darkness.
He shifted back into the shadows, leaned his head back against a wall and closed his eyes.
He listened to the babble below, and told himself that if he tried very hard, he could make out Lex’s voice. He wondered again how that quiet, serious kid with the eyes that radiated pain had turned into a man who smiled all the time and had the hard eyes of a killer. That kid was supposed to have been protected; he was supposed to have been saved. Instead he was lost, lost to the world, lost to good, and lost to Bruce.
Behind him he heard the sound of gravel being displaced and a tiny puff of air blew past his cheek.
“Well. Surprise. You’re here.”
“Batman. I’m doing my job. I’m making sure he’s not out to foment trouble. And you? Stalking again?”
“Foment? Jesus, Clark. You’re so full of shit! Who the hell talks like that! And stalking? You followed him here, to my city!” Batman laughed silently. Though he managed to avoid him more often then not, he knew Clark, *Superman*, would turn up. He always did when Lex made the rare trip to Gotham. Clark glared at him and walked to the edge of the roof. “ You shouldn’t call me that, now. At least show me some...professional courtesy”. Batman stared at him. ‘Is he serious, for God’s sake? Just how tight is this fuck wound…. yeah, because I’m just fine….’
“Un-hunh. Courtesy.” Batman replied. He watched Clark watching Lex, watched his face move through so many different expressions, most plain of them hunger, loss… he knew those emotions intimately, they were old friends. Watching them play out on Clark’s face did nothing to salve the feelings of anger and betrayal that Clark always brought up in him. Losing Lex. It was his fault. Clark whirled around and stared at Batman, his mouth dropping open to speak, closed just it just as quickly. “Ah. Said that out loud, then.” Batman moved farther into the shadows, wrapped the cape around himself. Only Clark could see him now.
“You can’t blame me! Blame a kid for not being able to change someone’s… *destiny*!” He spit the word out like it was poison and took a step toward Batman. “I tried! I tried like he--hell! Over and over. I tried…” He dragged his hands through his hair, tugged on it viciously “Both of you acted like I had some power to change him and both of you blame me! I was just a *kid*!”
Clark flung his arms out, frustration writ over his features. His hand made contact with the wall and turned brick into shrapnel. Pieces exploded outward and one skittered across the cowl before slicing a shallow groove under Batman’s lower lip. He slapped his hand to his face, shocked.
“Fuck! Clark! What the hell!”
He couldn’t believe that Clark had lost control like that. He wasn’t surprised by the emotional outburst, he knew Clark danced on a pretty thin edge when it came to the ki… Lex, when it came to Lex, but he’d always had control over the physical. Blood was beginning to pool up on the edge of the cowl, but before he could wipe it away, Clark was there. He leaned into Batman’s space, staring down into his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry I-- I don’t know how to stop… when I see him, if I let myself really see him, I get so…” His voice trailed off, as he seemed to regain focus. He wiped blood off Batman’s chin, staring at his stained fingers. He looked at them as though they held the answer to some terrible puzzle. Batman looked past him, fought for control. He hated Clark so much in this moment, the heat of it poured through him like liquid fire.
“You lost him, Clark. You lost him.”
Clark’s expression jumped from sorrow to fury. He slammed Batman against the wall hard enough to push the air from his lungs. His hands came up to grab at Clark’s shoulders as he struggled for breath. Clark tilted his head as he watched him drag air back and started to speak in a low voice, so low Batman had to strain to hear him over his own gasping.
“I know you felt that you fixed him. I know you think I broke him, but he was always broken. You were just kids who propped each other up as best you could. I think you blame me because he loves… loved me and couldn’t love you.”
“Clark, you’re the dumbest fuck who ever lived,” Batman spit out. "You think this is about something as petty as jealousy? This is about a man who can destroy a world, who should be working to save a world! You lied to him and you broke him more, then you left him fucked up and alone!” Batman vibrated with the need to smash Clark, to run, to scream and scream for Lex. “You son of a bitch, you’re the one who did this!”
The words were full of venom, designed to hurt, but what Clark saw in the man’s eyes spoke of pain, pain so deep and wide that it took an act of greatest courage to keep moving, to keep caring. He grabbed him in that unbreakable grip and pulled Batman’s head towards his.
*******
Clark closed his eyes, and felt himself spinning away into the darkness that surrounded him. All he knew was that he needed a lifeline, something to hold on to keep from sinking further. When he didn’t feel resistance, he pulled him closer and touched his lips to the edge of the cowl, barely making contact with the skin there. “Please, I’m sorry,” he breathed out. Please, I’m tired; I’m alone all the time, wanting it to be different. I’m so tired. He stilled, waiting for Batman to push him away.
*******
The sound of Clark’s voice ripped into his ribcage and cracked him open. He sounded like a kid. He reminded Batman of teenaged Lex, fighting so desperately hard to be a real boy. He had to touch him then, as anger leached out and a tremor went through him and he touched Clark, Clark who kissed him so carefully at first, and then as though he’d been dying of the need to do it forever. He grabbed Clark’s hair; twisting the dark stands around his fingers he jerked him deeper into the kiss. It turned wet, desperate, bruising; nothing of the painful sweet longing that had drawn him into the kiss. Batman opened his eyes and watched the younger man. Clark’s eyebrows were drawn together hard and he whined deep down in his throat. His eyes jerked this way and that under his lids, and he guessed that Clark was seeing the same images that flitted in his mind.
Lex.
Warmth and a metallic taste bloomed on his tongue as the cut reopened. Clark tried to pull back but Batman bit down on his lip and wouldn’t let go. He could feel Clark relax against him, felt the lip he held still in his teeth tighten as Clark smiled. He let go, and Clark rolled the upper half of his body away from Batman, looking in to his face searching for something there. Whatever he saw seemed to relax him even more. He slid his hands down Batman’s sides to his hips.” What next, Bruce?”
“I fuck you.”
“Oh. God. Good.” Clark sagged just the tiniest bit and then pushed back hard against him, pulling at the cowl.
“Leave it.”
Clark made a breathy noise and seemed to become smaller then he was. That single action and barely audible sigh sent an electric shock of lust through him. Batman felt like he’d fallen into a dream. Nothing seemed real, not the pounding of his heart or the rasping of his breath. He looked at Clark and saw Lex. He stared into Clark’s eyes and knew that the man on *his* mind was not the caped man before him, but that was ok. He peeled the suit back from his hips, freeing his erection. Cold air hit him for a moment and than Clark sank to his knees and sucked him in. The inhuman warmth of his mouth shocked Batman momentarily, then warmth bloomed in his gut and the familiar rhythms took him back to a place he tried to forget, not a simpler time but a place he thought of as the last time he really knew who he was. As his hips rocked up, he jerked off one glove with his teeth and reached down to touch the head that moved so slowly on him. He gasped aloud when his fingers stuttered through hair; he was so gone into the memories.
“Clark--”
At the sound of his name, Clark seemed to melt away, the suit was gone and he knelt in front of him, untouched, perfect, unmarked by life. Clark raised his head to him, and what he saw in Clark’s eyes made his stomach clench. It was plain that all his scars where on inside. A wave of nausea meshed with desire crashed through him; he flung Clark about so that he fell to his knees and elbows. The gloved hand slammed down on the small of his back. Batman leaned all his weight on that hand and shoved the fingers of his other hand into Clark. Rammed them in and out violently in a way that would have a human screaming; Clark sucked in air and shoved it out through clenched teeth. He gasped and trembled and Batman could see the sweat break out and run down his spine; all the while Clark moaned and shook as though in the throes of a fever, and then….
“Now,” he sobbed.
Batman wrenched his fingers out and yanked Clark onto his dick. He let out a yell, not pain, almost despair, a wild sound, a lost sound, a sound echoed silently by Batman in the arch of his back. It trailed off into a sob as Batman began a steady thrusting, his fingers crushing down on Clark’s hips. He was grateful that Clark could take all this and more. He needed this, needed to shed his humanity, rip off the leash for a bit.
Sweat built up under the suit as he plunged in wilder, Clark’ s head was down, snapping back and forth, He fucked into the heat that seemed to be invading his body, hotter and hotter and then it was collecting in his groin hotter and tighter and Clark was moaning higher and higher till it was nearly a scream and then it was a name.
It stabbed him in the heart, stabbed him in the gut. It paralyzed him, he couldn’t move and his world was reduced to the sound of Clark gasping and moaning out Lex’s name, the sight of Clark shaking, muscles quivering as he fisted his dick and then it was too much. He was gone, flying into it, and pulling Clark with him. His orgasm twisted and shattered and shredded him as he broke and began a freefall back to reality. Back to the world and the knowledge that you can hurt yourself a million different ways, and in the end all you have is the pain.
Clark was already dressed and standing with his head down, a picture of indecision.
“He’ll know about this, you know,” Batman commented as he did the suit back up. Clark’s head jerked up, he looked horrified for a second and then resigned. “Yes, I guess he will.”
“It doesn’t matter. Things are as they are and we’re...what we are.”
Clark looked at him, eyes searching his face. Batman could feel his lips pull into what he hoped looked like a smile. Amazingly enough, Clark seemed to have a real one for him, faint and not exactly hopeful, but it washed over his features for a moment and made Bruce’s eyes hurt.
“I’ll see you again,” Clark said and was gone.
Batman stood alone on the roof in the gray of pre-dawn Oh, hell yeah. he thought. Welcome to the world as shish kabob. He laughed to himself. Come join me, beautiful. It’s so dark, and cold and we can be alone together….
2-07-2004
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
7/12/04 05:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
7/12/04 06:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
7/12/04 09:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
7/12/04 10:36 pm (UTC)Damn.
Are they ALL so very fucked up?
Sheesh.
I know NOTHING.
I got Batman, too, even though i had no clue.
:)
Conspiracy!
Hehe.
And - one quibble - suddenly Batman is fucking Clark but - there's no mention of clothes ripping or coming off or anything that i can see.
Did i miss it?
*smooch*
(no subject)
7/12/04 10:48 pm (UTC)And ,naw,thy're not all fucked up! I have some cheerful ones!There's one under Bruce fic n memories and one I'm gonna post later...My Spanders cheerful.And my Clex is...
Bruce and Lex make me smile the most though,lol!
*Schmooches you back!*
(no subject)
7/13/04 12:05 am (UTC):)
Spander spander...
*bounce*
I want it ALL.
I need to 'memory' your memories.
xxxxxxxx
(no subject)
7/13/04 03:41 am (UTC)Poor Lex ... even if he does have the eyes of a killer now.
:^(
(no subject)
7/13/04 05:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
7/13/04 01:35 pm (UTC)And I don't feel too bad for Bruce cuz I know he'll have a string of twinks he likes to call "Robin". He'll get over it ... sometimes I wonder if he asks them to shave their heads so they'll look more like Lex!
*snicker*
(no subject)
7/13/04 01:48 pm (UTC)And I don't feel too bad for Bruce cuz I know he'll have a string of twinks he likes to call "Robin".
*tries for look of indignation, falls over laughing instead*
My Stars! You are truly The Evol, and I light a candle in celebration.
(no subject)
7/13/04 03:54 pm (UTC)LOL
(no subject)
7/13/04 10:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
5/11/05 10:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
5/12/05 12:36 am (UTC)