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4/3/07 01:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roxyTitle:Mariposa
Fandom: SV
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating:4
Summary: AU version of Smallville. Yeah, yeah, we hear ya…
The Previous Parts are here, celebrating the circle of life...well. some sort of circle anyway...
Morning came quickly, it felt as if he’d barely closed his eyes and Clark was waking him. He stumbled into the shower, hissing a little as he moved. His body seemed to think it had suffered some sort of major assault—he was sore in places he’d never known it was possible to feel…he wasn’t sure, but he suspected one ache he was feeling was his spleen.
It took him a few minutes under the hot spray before he could stop smiling.
He was out and dressed quickly, he took a few minutes to toss a couple of items in a bag. He’d get someone to pack a proper bag later and send it on. Right now, he just wanted to get things moving before one or the other of them lost heart.
Clark wasn’t where he expected him to be. He found him in the kitchen instead of his nook in the study, apparently bent on making breakfast.
“I told the cook to take the day, I hope that was okay?” Clark asked, and poured whatever it was he had in the bowl into a pan on the stove. He nodded…it had never occurred to him that Clark could cook.
He tried to imagine Clark doing any number of boring, everyday things and he couldn’t, he couldn’t see this beautiful creature being just average, but that was—had been--Clark’s real life. Lex watched Clark silently, seriously, make pancakes, fry bacon, eggs…put them on the plates already sitting at the table. He looked up at Lex, and smiled. “Come eat,” he said, and Lex sat.
An ordinary life. A normal life. What if Clark couldn’t fit back into Smallville? Would he force himself to, or would he come back with Lex? Would he stay….?
Clark was quiet, and a little distant, and Lex began to worry that he’d made the wrong choice the night before, that even if Clark had seemed to be in control of what happened, he hadn’t really been. Lex worried that he’d overstepped some invisible boundary…he should have known better--he, of all people, should have been able to see some sign that Clark was just responding the way he thought he had to…Lex watched Clark eat and tried to figure out how to fix another mistake.
Clark stopped chewing and stared at Lex. He swallowed and shook his head with a little smile. “It’s not you, relax. You’re worrying so hard the air around you is turning blue. It’s me—I’m nervous, I guess.”
Lex stabbed at a bit of egg, relief making him smile. “But there’s nothing to be nervous about. They want you; they’re dying to see you again. I still think you should call them, Clark. I think just dropping in--”
Clark shook his head. “I have to just go. I have to just…be there. I thought about running there, you know, just going. But I want you there too. It’s kind of selfish I know but…if they don’t want me any more, I need you there.”
He nodded. “All right Clark. You have to do it your way. I understand.
They finished eating, smiling at each other now, Clark was *there* with him, and it felt nice. Just the two of them…nice.
“Well. Thank you for a delicious breakfast, Clark. I’ll get my bag and yours too, if you like. Are you ready to go?”
“Don’t need a bag.” Clark picked up the red jacket thrown over the back of his chair and slipped it on. “I’m ready now.”
“That’s it?” Lex asked. He looked at Clark prepared to go back home with nothing but a cheap cotton jacket and nothing that he came with and for some reason, he couldn’t keep his eyes from flooding with embarrassing tears… “that’s all?”
Clark nodded. He slid his hands in his pockets and said, “Can we go?”
*******
“Okay Clark, we split the radio—you get ninety minutes and I get ninety minutes. I believe that’s fair—though as driver I call the first half of the drive.” Clark laughed and climbed in, but part of his mind was racing, racing with al the thoughts he’d tried to quiet the last forty-eight hours….
Three hours. Three hours were all that had separated him from his family for a year, longer. One hundred and eighty minutes away from another life.
For miles and miles Clark said nothing, just listened to the low rumble of the radio, the sing of tires on asphalt…if he wanted to, he could listen to Lex’s heart beat, like he’d done all last night. He could hear more but he didn’t let himself. Not yet. He felt Lex’s eyes on him from time to time but he didn’t speak, didn’t ask him if he was okay or anything and that was good. Lex was smart like that, Clark thought. He knew what you needed when you needed it. Most of the time, he grinned and remembered Lex’s little mini-melt down in the kitchen. He worried too much sometime. Trying to see all sides of everything, all the time. It must be exhausting, poor Lex.
He sighed, and Lex stirred next to him, reached out a hand and squeezed his knee. Clark laid his own over it, and smiled when he felt Lex purr a little at his touch. Soon, soon…
They flew on; traffic was light this early in the morning. They were nearly in Smallville before they saw many vehicles, mostly trucks, older model cars…. it was quiet; the sun was beginning to rise and the gray morning air lightened slowly to rose and yellow, the air beginning to warm. As the sun finally broke through the cloud cover, Clark felt—alive. Felt possibilities—maybe this was going to be good, maybe it would turn out okay. They did want him, sure they did. New kid or not, they still loved him, he was positive.
He realized that his eyes were squeezed tight, and the grip Lex had on his knee would have made a normal man gasp. “I’m okay,” he muttered.
“You sure?”
“Yeah—yeah, I’m—STOP!”
Gravel rattled and pinged off the sides of the car as the Porsche slewed to a screaming stop on the shoulder, a long plume of dust flying out behind them like dragon’s breath.
Lex was staring at him open mouthed, panic making him paler. “WHAT?”
“Stop, stop, stop…” Clark muttered and yanked the seat belt off, pushing open the door as he did, scrambled outside….
The sun was just topping the edge of the edge of the Smallville sign. It looked pretty recently re-painted; the colors were brighter than—before. He walked up to it, and ran his fingers over it and swore he felt dents in the wood, little dents from thrown stones. Crazy. Everyone threw stones at the sign, the damn thing was so corny, it begged to be stoned…his finger sank into a dent in the ‘M’ in Smallville and he leaned his head against the sign and cried.
*****
Lex watched Clark from the car. He had the feeling that what was going on here was no business of his and to offer comfort right now would be an intrusion—every bit of him was desperate to run out to Clark, but…no. This was private. He sighed and scrunched down a little in his seat. There was no competing against a memory.
Fucking Saint Whitney, he thought. I better get to love you too….
*****
After a bit, Clark leaned back from the sign, ran his hand over it. “God, I loved you so much,” he whispered and wiped his face. “I still do. I know that right now, you’d be happy for me. I’m in love again. Even though nobody could ever do for me what you did, he’s a good man. He cares, like you did. And he’s going to help me be like you, even though he doesn’t know it yet.” Clark snorted out a damp little laugh. “He’s slow on the uptake. Like you. Anyway, I’m home.” He sniffed hard, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Reluctantly drew his hand away from the sign. “I’m home again.”
Lex was watching him as he came up to the car. He had that greyhound look, the one were he wanted to know everything but wouldn’t ask. Clark thought how cute it was that Lex actually imagined that he was unreadable…he leaned over and kissed Lex’s cheek, let his fingers linger there. He inhaled deeply, and said, “I’m sorry.”
Lex put the car in drive, and carefully pulled back onto the road. “Don’t ever be sorry for love.”
Clark waited but Lex didn’t speak again, and the music of the road filled the car. They were minutes away and driving steadily closer.
Wheat. Corn. The roads. The houses, the town, the buildings, the center of town, and the movie house, the Beanery… he thought it would look cleaner, fresher than Metropolis, less gritty and defeated but it didn’t. He thought the faces would look less drawn but they didn’t. He sighed. He’d expected…magic. The sun shone no less here than on the road into town but he felt it less, it seemed.
Lex tapped his elbow. “Hey, coming home isn’t easy. But this *is* your home. I know what you’re feeling. Your family is here. They’re waiting. They’ve been waiting everyday since you left for you to come back to them, believe me.”
Clark nodded, and held onto that thought Mom and Dad, and his sister Corinne. Kala. They were at the end of the road. Waiting.
They were out of town and on the road to the farm. The fields were so many shades of green, like he remembered and they passed fields of flowers and rail fences and cows, who looked at them with total lack of interest. Clark smiled. Cows.
Rooks lined up on the fence posts they passed, looking with a little more interest as sunlight flared from chrome on the car body.
Still flying, flying…” Turn here, Clark said, and the Porsche smoothly made the turn as if it’d been doing it forever. “Up that way—see the sign?” Clark’s heart was pounding, pounding…his mouth was dry, and his stomach was tight—he pressed a hand to his chest to—to hold his heart in.
“Okay,” he muttered, “okay…here it is.”
Lex stopped in the driveway and unbuckled his belt. He rolled down the window, and the sound of farm life filled Clark’s ears again. The smell of the farm filled his nose.
“This is your home? It’s--”
Clark grinned a little. “Tiny? Awfully yellow? Smelly?”
Lex smiled. “I was going to say beautiful. Charming. Like you. Now get out of my car.”
Clark took a deep shaky breath and got out. Stood up, walked on his drive way for the firs time since…the first time since he’d lost everything.
He went back to the car. “I can’t. Take me back, please.”
Lex looked up at him; his eyes were full of sympathy. He clasped Clark’s hand, and said, “Babe, you’re crushing my door.” Clark snatched his hand away, aghast at the clear prints of four fingers in the silver metal. “Clark,” Lex said, “Get up that driveway before I kick your ass up it.”
Clark took a deep breath and nodded. Right. Now was the time, now was right…he turned and gravel crunched and rolled under his feet, he counted his steps. Sun beat on his shoulders; a breeze stirred the leaves overhead. Somewhere a bird trilled up and down the scale, dogs barked. The muffled low of cows the scent of the barnyard drifted out to him. He heard a light voice say, “Mommy…”
He was bent over in the drive, tears running hot down his face. He could hear Lex jump out of the car behind him, and he straightened and looked up and he was looking up into his dad’s eyes….
His dad looked confused. He looked at the Porsche, looked at Clark. His eye brows rose. “Clark?” It was oddly conversational, as if Clark had gone downtown to get a gallon of milk and come back a little late. Suddenly, his face went bone white and he staggered forward. “Clark, Clark, Clark….”
Clark was in his dad’s arms and they tightened on him in a way that would have been painful a few weeks ago—“Oh God, son, oh my God”—his dad was crying, Clark had never heard his dad cry like that, like it hurt, like it gagged him to do so, it scared him, and suddenly a shriek split the air, a baby was crying and than his mom was hanging off him, screaming his name, kissing him all over his face, crying--he was crying so hard.
It was over, he was home. He filled himself with his mom and dad, their scent, their feel; it was like being in a dream, or waking at the end of a nightmare….
He filled himself with his mom and dad, their scent, their feel; it was like being in a dream, or waking at the end of a nightmare….
“Mommy?” A tiny voice asked uncertainly, trembling on the edge of tears. His sister.
“Oh baby,” His mom stretched her hand out to the tiny person standing on the drive, staring wide eyed with fear at him. “Come here, honey, it’s Clark, your brother, remember? The pictures you have? This is him.” Clark watched her face slowly crumble, and he felt a little wash of sadness—she was afraid of him. Her fingers twisted the little pink buttons on her white sweater…she backed away, the breeze lifting her blonde curls, and when she frowned, she looked just like his dad, the same outrageously blue eyes, they pierced him just like Dad’s....
Clark dropped down onto the drive and said, “Hi, it’s me, Clark. Your big brother. I’m so happy to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here before, but I am now. I hope we’re going to be friends.” He winced--that was probably the stupidest thing he could say, he thought, and hoped he hadn’t blown it.
She looked wary, but came closer when Clark held his hands out, and she let him hug her. She pulled back, little hands on his shoulders and studied his face, and he saw that her eyes were shaped like his mom’s, her face was the same elegant oval, overlaid with a baby’s softness… “I think we’ll be best friends,” he whispered. She gave him a lightning quick kiss on his cheek and pulled completely away to run behind his mom, but she peeked the whole while they talked.
Clark grinned; she was beautiful kid, just like he knew she would be. Her serious blue eyes winked at him from behind his mom’s legs, her little hand was fisted tightly in the material of her jeans. His mom was saying, “We have pictures of you on her wall, and she has a book filled with pictures, and some of your old drawings…it’s her favorite book.” she smiled down at Kala.
His dad wiped his nose; his voice was rough when he spoke. “We’re a family again. This is the happiest day we’ve had since Kala was born. We missed you terribly son. We tried so hard…” he stopped, and swallowed, and his mom went on. “We never stopped looking for you Clark.”
“I know. Lex found the stuff you put out about me—oh! Lex!” He looked at the empty spot on the drive—none of them had even heard the car drive off. “Lex, I’ve got to stop him!” He started to move and his mom almost leaped on him, grabbing his hand.
“No, don’t go, don’t go away again.”
“Son…”
“I promise I’ll be right back, I swear…only long enough to bring him back. Only that long.” Clark hated the fear on his parents face, hated that he did that—but he needed to bring Lex back. He needed him as much as he needed to be home. “Promise.”
He turned to run, run, and suddenly he was—flying, his feet flying over the ground, he didn’t even know that he could do that. It felt good, his muscles stretched and sang—this was something they’d been longing for, it seemed—God, it was wonderful, incredible, almost as good as sex and as soon as he had the thought a shivery little warmth settled low in his gut—it just felt so incredibly good to run all out like this, to break free from the earth. He was happy in a silent frozen world that belonged only to him. He raced past crows frozen in flight , leaped over a newspaper, bent and standing on end and scattered here and there around the sidewalk like pop-art statuary…he had to giggle, just a little, this was so cool--his own private world.
He was almost reluctant to leave the sanctuary of his frozen world, but he dropped back into normal speed at the bridge that he’d first seen Lex Luthor on. Perfectly, Lex was on the bridge, the Porsche a sliver flash as he sped out of town, but no way he could go faster than Clark Kent. Clark sped ahead and came to a stop in front of the car. The Porsche shrieked to a stop. For a moment the air was dead silent—the tic and creak of cooling metal the only sound, and then slowly building, from inside the staled car came a volley of curses, louder and louder as Lex climbed out of the car until Lex was inches from him, and really. Really. Angry.
“The fuck, Clark! I almost hit you!”
“It’s okay, you wouldn’t have hurt me--” Clark started.
“Me, you goof! What about me?”
Clark stared open mouthed, he could feel the crawl of fire up his neck and into his face and he grabbed Lex. “I’m so stupid! I wasn’t thinking--but you left me! After you promised!”
“Clark…Clark. Look, you’re home, they want you, it’s your happy ending, don’t you know that? You don't need me to remind you of bad times.”
“Oh Lex, you drive me *crazy*! You’re going to stay--and then you run away--you hide…Lex, you’re staying here with me, please. I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I *need* you more than anything else. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Lex nodded.
“Do you feel *anything* like I do? Do you love me too?”
“Yes, fuck yes.”
“Than get back in the car and drive me back home and this time, meet my folks—and my baby sister.” He smiled, and Lex sighed.
“God. All right let’s do this…yes, let’s do this.”
******
His parents were still in the drive way when he came back, his mom holding the baby, and his dad behind her, arms around the both of them, and when they saw the car, relief made them sag against each other. Clark pulled Lex out of the car, and dragged him over to his dad and mom. “Lex Luthor, meet Jonathan and Martha Kent. My parents.”
Lex shook hands, and Clark picked up Kala. “And this is my sister. Say hi to Lex, Kala.”
Lex stuck his hand out and she reached out, a little unsure what to do, so she kissed it. Clark could see the ice in Lex’s eyes melt, and he smiled, sweeter than Clark had ever seen….
“Clark. Clark.” His mom was shaking; his dad really looked like he was going to pass out this time. He stared at Clark, his mouth quivering …oh. Oh shit.
“Mom, Dad, about what you just saw…something happened to me not too long ago--”
“Your powers are back,” his dad interrupted.
“My--what? I mean, you…know?”
They looked so conflicted, as if they weren’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing… "When you were a baby, before you were taken…you were different. And then you weren’t and we thought…we thought it was for the best. So you could fit in.”
Clark gaped at his folks, totally at a loss for words. Lex touched his arm. “Remember, I thought that you learned awfully quickly how to control your abilities—this explains it. You already knew, you just didn’t know you knew.”
Clark shot Lex a look, but before he could speak, his mom grabbed him and hugged him hard. “Son, we’ll talk about it later, let’s go in, dinner’s ready and your sister is hungry, okay?”
He looked down at Kala who’d managed to inch her way to stand next to Lex. “Oh, I’m sorry, Kala, we’ll go in to dinner now. Do you want to walk with Lex?”
She nodded solemnly and Lex just as solemnly took her hand and they walked together into the house, Clark trailing his family. Looking. Just—looking.
Dream. Dream…
He knew it wasn’t a dream, but still, it felt…unreal. Hyper real. Too everything, too—much. Maybe it was him, maybe it was the—abilities, Lex liked to call them.
He was walking up the porch stairs, feeling the rough wood under hand, walking into the kitchen and the familiar smell made his eyes ache. It was all the same. And different. Maybe the bright new look he’d searched for on the road was here.
No one wanted to talk yet, not really talk about any of it and Clark was fine with that. He didn’t know what to say, how to start to explain what had happened…his folks were afraid to ask, and he took advantage of that.
Dinner was weird—normal as hell and freaky too. Lex was so polite, a real gentleman and his mom was bowled over, completely taken with him. It was strange to see some one urging Lex to eat, worrying that he was too thin—looking at Lex it was obvious, but he’d never seemed that way at home—Metropolis, he meant Metropolis, not home—he was used to Lex kind of begging him to eat. Maybe because he’d been so wrapped up in himself, he didn’t notice that Lex was as thin as….he’d been. Clark looked down at himself, surprised how big his wrists were, how thick the muscles of his arm were…like another person. He glanced at Lex, and Lex was watching him, eyes so intense—he smiled and looked away when he noticed Clark noticing him.
Anyway, the food was really good. Just like he remembered. He ate as much as he could and it must have been the right thing to do. His mom was beaming. Kala was sneaking looks at him, and it made him smile. She was cute, she seemed really bright, and it was obvious how much his parents doted on her. The kitchen was full of toys and bright cups and cute little plates…they had a different kind of life now, his folks. Kala tilted her head and seemed to examine him as intently as he’d examined her and then turned her attention to Lex. When she looked back at Clark, she smiled. She had a beautiful smile, just like his mom’s.
He took a sip of his coffee and watched Lex nibble around a piece of pie and slide a bite off his fork between his teeth slowly and Clark felt a deep stab of arousal, followed by a wave of guilt. He shouldn’t feel that way in his mother’s kitchen. Should he? He watched Lex swallow, and wondered when he’d be able to get him alone. He blushed…looked up and saw his dad glance at his mom, and blushed harder.
He felt a little confused…he felt a little short of breath. Sitting in his parent’s kitchen, he really, truly felt like an alien.
******
After dinner, Lex left for the castle. “It’s all ready for me, Clark. I called ahead. And it’s late and you need to be alone with your parents. I’ll call in the morning, okay? He glanced towards the house, and pulled Clark close, and kissed him, and Clark shuddered, moaned. “Please Lex, stay with me tonight, please.”
Lex shook his head. “Take it slow, babe. Your parents have to get used to you being here, let alone you and your….lover.”
“Lover. Yeah. “ He smiled, and let his hand drift over Lex’s lapel, a little touch but one that made both of them flare with heat…you’re mine... “Okay. But call me first thing tomorrow. My phone will be next to me. All the time.”
He watched Lex drive away. He didn’t even need to look to know that his parents were watching from the window. He didn’t know if they’d seen the kiss but he might as well tell them about Lex and him. He had so much to tell them. He didn’t know how to start.
*****
“Mom…where do I sleep? I wasn’t sure if—I didn’t know…”
“Clark, you room is ready for you. It’s been ready for you. Your—your pillow is in Kala’s room.”
“My pillow?--Oh. Good. I left it for her. I’m glad she still has it.”
“It’s her favorite thing—besides the bear you sent her--” his mom stopped, her eyes filled with tears and Clark felt like shit.
“I’m sorry. Mom. I’m really sorry.”
“I know hon, I know. You go to bed now, sweetheart, we have all the time in the world to talk about what happened, okay?”
Clark nodded sadly. He knew that wasn’t true, no matter how much people wanted it to be, but it wouldn’t hurt to agree with her. Make her feel better.
He sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at the floor. He was so tired…his room was just the same. Nothing changed. It smelled of lemon polish and clothes detergent. Nice and simple. Not like smoke and come and alcohol…not like sandalwood and cinnamon, like ho—Lex’s apartment. He sat on the edge of the bed, and wished—he wasn’t sure what for.
Looking in the chest of drawers, he found clean underwear, and pajamas. They were the ones his mom bought a few years ago for Christmas, a joke. They had cowboys on them, like a little kid’s jammies and he’d laughed. He laughed again, and held them to his cheek. They were so soft. And clean.
He walked down the hall to the bathroom, he heard his mom reading Kala a bedtime story in a soft murmur, and Kala’s answering giggles and questions…
The bathroom was tiny. He’d never noticed before that it was so tiny. It reminded him of Eric’s bathroom. Only that bathroom held no rubber duckies, or whales or…what was that, a lobster? In Eric’s bathroom he’d had his own hook for his towel…he turned on the shower. He remembered that it took a little while to get hot. In Lex’s bathroom, there was a separate room for the sink and a separate area for the toilet and you could pee and flush without freezing the person showering. In Eric’s bathroom you had to wait. Clark stepped into the tub and carefully put Kala’s bath sponge on top of the toilet tank. He stepped under the scalding spray and experienced a slightly warm sensation. Relaxing. Nice.
In the Twin’s bathroom, there’d been a bolt in the wall for a chain.
He shuddered, felt sick…once he’d spent all night there, standing almost on tiptoe, so the choke chain wouldn’t tighten around his neck, he remembered being so cold, his knees shaking…Clark was washing, and crying—figured the sound of the water made it safe to do so. Eric--Eric put out clean towels for him every morning…once, Jake bought him a shower gel he’d said would smell nice on him and it’d smelled like the ocean, it was nice…Lucas liked to watch him bathe and when he did, he just smiled and smiled…Clark was shaking, the washcloth slid down his stomach and covered the butterfly.
Butterfly.
He could burn it off, he could probably burn his own skin, it would only hurt for a little while. He could try to scrape it off…he was leaning against the tiles and shivering and sobbing.
He was safe. No one was ever going to hurt him again.
He put his hand over the butterfly, and Lucas was licking it, tracing the wings with his tongue. Clark sighed, his dick jerked a little under his hand, filled a little. Lucas always wanted to see it, he’d make Clark keep everything on but take his pants off, and stare at it, he’d been fascinated by it, constantly wanting to touch it, maybe because of what it meant…maybe because those people had done it to Lex too. Clark didn’t know…he moved his hand over his dick and watched himself grow, the butterfly stretch and grow…Lex knew, he had his own…Bobbie had liked tagging her pets. There under Lex’s arm, where the skin was so thin, so tender, under his arm so no one could see…just like Clark’s, it was just for her…Clark sighed and tightened his grip, slid his thumb over the head peeking out--the one on his dick had been the real mark, not the tattoo on his shoulder. The real one was the one that hadn’t come off.
He bit his lip, and stroked harder, doggedly working towards orgasm, just wanting the release…Lex knew, he read the wings, the black lines of the monarch’s wings that spelled out Mariposa. Under Lex’s arm, Bobbie scored the words that told him he was hers…mon chiot Clark gasped and came quietly, only the way his arm shook and the way his stomach jerked told how strong an orgasm it was
******
He was walking around the house. He couldn’t sleep. It was so quiet in the house. Too quiet…Lucas slept with the TV on, every single night…Lex liked music playing in the background, and there’d been noise from the street all the time in Metropolis.
Here there were crickets.
He couldn’t sleep in the silence…he walked into the kitchen, filled a glass from the tap and gulped it down as he rummaged in the fridge, leaning his head against the top of the open door. Different. All the food was different—he slammed the door shut and punched his thigh hard as he could.
What the fuck was wrong with him? This was it—what he wanted—to be home and safe and with his mom and dad. Fuck. He wiped hot tears from his face and slipped out the front door.
He looked up into the night sky and his eyes caught the loft… was that a light? His stomach tightened, but when he looked closer and saw it was just a reflection from the security lights of one of the outbuildings, he let out a long breath. Yeah. He exhaled--sharp, quick-- and gave in. He knew where he wanted to be. He had to get there quickly. Took another deep breath and --
He squeezed through the fence and zipped across the driveway, he broke the lock on the front door, but he figured it didn’t matter, he’d be with Lex and Lex was safe with him. Besides, any idiot crook breaking into the castle deserved what they got.
He faltered when he entered the cavernous foyer, it was…he’d never been in a place like this. It didn’t look like a home, it looked like a museum—and somewhere in this warren of rooms was Lex…he shook his head—‘you’ve got powers fool, use them.’ He closed his eyes and sniffed.
There it was…he inhaled, and savored the smell, the taste of Lex on his tongue, so familiar it made him hard right away. He listened, and heard Lex’s heart, the beat he could pick out of a crowd anywhere.
Seconds later, he was outside the door of the room Lex had chosen to sleep in. He opened the door quietly and carefully, slipped soundlessly inside.
Of course Lex was sitting up and staring at him. He didn’t say a word, just held the covers up and Clark kicked off his shoes and climbed in gratefully. “I’m not staying,” he said.
“I assumed that was the idea when you didn’t take your clothes off. You’ll have to call your parents anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because they’ll worry.”
“But I’ll be home in a few hours. I’m not going anywhere.”
Lex sighed. “Clark…you parents aren’t; going to believe that, not for a long time. Be kind to them and let them know you haven’t run again.”
But I won’t. I’m not going to run--this is where I want to be.” He pushed into Lex’s side and slid down a little like he always did, so that Lex could pull him under his chin. He thought about it…and realized the 'this' he wanted to be at was with Lex. “Okay. I’ll call them. In a minute. First I just want to horrify you with cuddling.”
“Clark, you should call them before you get comfortable--”
“Lex. I *said* I would. Can’t we just enjoy being close for a little? For my sake? I really need it. I’m feeling kind of lost…”
“All right, Clark.” He was quiet for a minute and then said, “I can guess how you feel…when I first got home--”
He grimaced and was quiet, and Clark waited, prodded him a little when it looked like he wasn’t going to speak. “Tell me Lex. Can you tell me what happened? With the Galletti’s?”
Lex exhaled, and looked totally relaxed, a faint smile on his mouth. Clark could feel—hear---how his heart raced though, smell the sharp tang of sweat—fear. “What happened to me was pretty much what happened to you. They’d find someone they want and break them. Play with them. I didn’t know I was sold for a year. Collateral. As time passed, I came to think of it as a sort of fostering, like…feudal families, you know? When I was very young, it helped a bit, until I was older, and realized that it was just…abuse.” Lex stopped speaking and Clark held him.
“I’m going to call my folks, and I’ll be right back.” Lex nodded and Clark took his phone and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Mom? Sorry, were you awake—oh. I’m really sorry, but you guys were sleeping when I left—I’m at Lex’s. I might spend the night. Okay. Yes, me too. G’night.”
Lex was looking at him. Clark frowned. “What? *You* need me right now.”
“Clark—this is all old, old stuff. Happened a long time ago. It doesn’t…I don’t even think about it.” He rubbed a spot right between his collarbones. “It’s a pale memory.”
Clark nodded. “You know what? When I look at you, I see the reason that can never happen to me again. You made me—unhurtable? Is that a word?”
He reached out to touch Lex’s ankle and he slid it casually out from under Clark’s touch. “You’re grateful.” He said it in a flat tone and smiled again and Clark rolled up the bed and shook him.
“More than that, idiot. Much, much more than that. I love you. I guess I’ll have to say it a lot. I love you. I finally found you. Love--” He poked Lex gently in the chest. “You.”
Lex smiled, a real smile, lop-sided and toothy, and Clark felt like he did the first time he walked into the sunlight after he was fixed, just that wonderful. “If you’re staying Clark, would you mind…your jeans are kind of rough….”
“Pansy.”
“Because you’re sanding my skin off with your cheap Wal-mart jeans?”
Clark grinned and rolled on top of Lex. “These are the ones you bought me, Mr. Two Hundred Dollar Jeans Make All The Difference.”
“Shut up.”
tbc...
Fandom: SV
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating:4
Summary: AU version of Smallville. Yeah, yeah, we hear ya…
The Previous Parts are here, celebrating the circle of life...well. some sort of circle anyway...
Morning came quickly, it felt as if he’d barely closed his eyes and Clark was waking him. He stumbled into the shower, hissing a little as he moved. His body seemed to think it had suffered some sort of major assault—he was sore in places he’d never known it was possible to feel…he wasn’t sure, but he suspected one ache he was feeling was his spleen.
It took him a few minutes under the hot spray before he could stop smiling.
He was out and dressed quickly, he took a few minutes to toss a couple of items in a bag. He’d get someone to pack a proper bag later and send it on. Right now, he just wanted to get things moving before one or the other of them lost heart.
Clark wasn’t where he expected him to be. He found him in the kitchen instead of his nook in the study, apparently bent on making breakfast.
“I told the cook to take the day, I hope that was okay?” Clark asked, and poured whatever it was he had in the bowl into a pan on the stove. He nodded…it had never occurred to him that Clark could cook.
He tried to imagine Clark doing any number of boring, everyday things and he couldn’t, he couldn’t see this beautiful creature being just average, but that was—had been--Clark’s real life. Lex watched Clark silently, seriously, make pancakes, fry bacon, eggs…put them on the plates already sitting at the table. He looked up at Lex, and smiled. “Come eat,” he said, and Lex sat.
An ordinary life. A normal life. What if Clark couldn’t fit back into Smallville? Would he force himself to, or would he come back with Lex? Would he stay….?
Clark was quiet, and a little distant, and Lex began to worry that he’d made the wrong choice the night before, that even if Clark had seemed to be in control of what happened, he hadn’t really been. Lex worried that he’d overstepped some invisible boundary…he should have known better--he, of all people, should have been able to see some sign that Clark was just responding the way he thought he had to…Lex watched Clark eat and tried to figure out how to fix another mistake.
Clark stopped chewing and stared at Lex. He swallowed and shook his head with a little smile. “It’s not you, relax. You’re worrying so hard the air around you is turning blue. It’s me—I’m nervous, I guess.”
Lex stabbed at a bit of egg, relief making him smile. “But there’s nothing to be nervous about. They want you; they’re dying to see you again. I still think you should call them, Clark. I think just dropping in--”
Clark shook his head. “I have to just go. I have to just…be there. I thought about running there, you know, just going. But I want you there too. It’s kind of selfish I know but…if they don’t want me any more, I need you there.”
He nodded. “All right Clark. You have to do it your way. I understand.
They finished eating, smiling at each other now, Clark was *there* with him, and it felt nice. Just the two of them…nice.
“Well. Thank you for a delicious breakfast, Clark. I’ll get my bag and yours too, if you like. Are you ready to go?”
“Don’t need a bag.” Clark picked up the red jacket thrown over the back of his chair and slipped it on. “I’m ready now.”
“That’s it?” Lex asked. He looked at Clark prepared to go back home with nothing but a cheap cotton jacket and nothing that he came with and for some reason, he couldn’t keep his eyes from flooding with embarrassing tears… “that’s all?”
Clark nodded. He slid his hands in his pockets and said, “Can we go?”
*******
“Okay Clark, we split the radio—you get ninety minutes and I get ninety minutes. I believe that’s fair—though as driver I call the first half of the drive.” Clark laughed and climbed in, but part of his mind was racing, racing with al the thoughts he’d tried to quiet the last forty-eight hours….
Three hours. Three hours were all that had separated him from his family for a year, longer. One hundred and eighty minutes away from another life.
For miles and miles Clark said nothing, just listened to the low rumble of the radio, the sing of tires on asphalt…if he wanted to, he could listen to Lex’s heart beat, like he’d done all last night. He could hear more but he didn’t let himself. Not yet. He felt Lex’s eyes on him from time to time but he didn’t speak, didn’t ask him if he was okay or anything and that was good. Lex was smart like that, Clark thought. He knew what you needed when you needed it. Most of the time, he grinned and remembered Lex’s little mini-melt down in the kitchen. He worried too much sometime. Trying to see all sides of everything, all the time. It must be exhausting, poor Lex.
He sighed, and Lex stirred next to him, reached out a hand and squeezed his knee. Clark laid his own over it, and smiled when he felt Lex purr a little at his touch. Soon, soon…
They flew on; traffic was light this early in the morning. They were nearly in Smallville before they saw many vehicles, mostly trucks, older model cars…. it was quiet; the sun was beginning to rise and the gray morning air lightened slowly to rose and yellow, the air beginning to warm. As the sun finally broke through the cloud cover, Clark felt—alive. Felt possibilities—maybe this was going to be good, maybe it would turn out okay. They did want him, sure they did. New kid or not, they still loved him, he was positive.
He realized that his eyes were squeezed tight, and the grip Lex had on his knee would have made a normal man gasp. “I’m okay,” he muttered.
“You sure?”
“Yeah—yeah, I’m—STOP!”
Gravel rattled and pinged off the sides of the car as the Porsche slewed to a screaming stop on the shoulder, a long plume of dust flying out behind them like dragon’s breath.
Lex was staring at him open mouthed, panic making him paler. “WHAT?”
“Stop, stop, stop…” Clark muttered and yanked the seat belt off, pushing open the door as he did, scrambled outside….
The sun was just topping the edge of the edge of the Smallville sign. It looked pretty recently re-painted; the colors were brighter than—before. He walked up to it, and ran his fingers over it and swore he felt dents in the wood, little dents from thrown stones. Crazy. Everyone threw stones at the sign, the damn thing was so corny, it begged to be stoned…his finger sank into a dent in the ‘M’ in Smallville and he leaned his head against the sign and cried.
*****
Lex watched Clark from the car. He had the feeling that what was going on here was no business of his and to offer comfort right now would be an intrusion—every bit of him was desperate to run out to Clark, but…no. This was private. He sighed and scrunched down a little in his seat. There was no competing against a memory.
Fucking Saint Whitney, he thought. I better get to love you too….
*****
After a bit, Clark leaned back from the sign, ran his hand over it. “God, I loved you so much,” he whispered and wiped his face. “I still do. I know that right now, you’d be happy for me. I’m in love again. Even though nobody could ever do for me what you did, he’s a good man. He cares, like you did. And he’s going to help me be like you, even though he doesn’t know it yet.” Clark snorted out a damp little laugh. “He’s slow on the uptake. Like you. Anyway, I’m home.” He sniffed hard, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Reluctantly drew his hand away from the sign. “I’m home again.”
Lex was watching him as he came up to the car. He had that greyhound look, the one were he wanted to know everything but wouldn’t ask. Clark thought how cute it was that Lex actually imagined that he was unreadable…he leaned over and kissed Lex’s cheek, let his fingers linger there. He inhaled deeply, and said, “I’m sorry.”
Lex put the car in drive, and carefully pulled back onto the road. “Don’t ever be sorry for love.”
Clark waited but Lex didn’t speak again, and the music of the road filled the car. They were minutes away and driving steadily closer.
Wheat. Corn. The roads. The houses, the town, the buildings, the center of town, and the movie house, the Beanery… he thought it would look cleaner, fresher than Metropolis, less gritty and defeated but it didn’t. He thought the faces would look less drawn but they didn’t. He sighed. He’d expected…magic. The sun shone no less here than on the road into town but he felt it less, it seemed.
Lex tapped his elbow. “Hey, coming home isn’t easy. But this *is* your home. I know what you’re feeling. Your family is here. They’re waiting. They’ve been waiting everyday since you left for you to come back to them, believe me.”
Clark nodded, and held onto that thought Mom and Dad, and his sister Corinne. Kala. They were at the end of the road. Waiting.
They were out of town and on the road to the farm. The fields were so many shades of green, like he remembered and they passed fields of flowers and rail fences and cows, who looked at them with total lack of interest. Clark smiled. Cows.
Rooks lined up on the fence posts they passed, looking with a little more interest as sunlight flared from chrome on the car body.
Still flying, flying…” Turn here, Clark said, and the Porsche smoothly made the turn as if it’d been doing it forever. “Up that way—see the sign?” Clark’s heart was pounding, pounding…his mouth was dry, and his stomach was tight—he pressed a hand to his chest to—to hold his heart in.
“Okay,” he muttered, “okay…here it is.”
Lex stopped in the driveway and unbuckled his belt. He rolled down the window, and the sound of farm life filled Clark’s ears again. The smell of the farm filled his nose.
“This is your home? It’s--”
Clark grinned a little. “Tiny? Awfully yellow? Smelly?”
Lex smiled. “I was going to say beautiful. Charming. Like you. Now get out of my car.”
Clark took a deep shaky breath and got out. Stood up, walked on his drive way for the firs time since…the first time since he’d lost everything.
He went back to the car. “I can’t. Take me back, please.”
Lex looked up at him; his eyes were full of sympathy. He clasped Clark’s hand, and said, “Babe, you’re crushing my door.” Clark snatched his hand away, aghast at the clear prints of four fingers in the silver metal. “Clark,” Lex said, “Get up that driveway before I kick your ass up it.”
Clark took a deep breath and nodded. Right. Now was the time, now was right…he turned and gravel crunched and rolled under his feet, he counted his steps. Sun beat on his shoulders; a breeze stirred the leaves overhead. Somewhere a bird trilled up and down the scale, dogs barked. The muffled low of cows the scent of the barnyard drifted out to him. He heard a light voice say, “Mommy…”
He was bent over in the drive, tears running hot down his face. He could hear Lex jump out of the car behind him, and he straightened and looked up and he was looking up into his dad’s eyes….
His dad looked confused. He looked at the Porsche, looked at Clark. His eye brows rose. “Clark?” It was oddly conversational, as if Clark had gone downtown to get a gallon of milk and come back a little late. Suddenly, his face went bone white and he staggered forward. “Clark, Clark, Clark….”
Clark was in his dad’s arms and they tightened on him in a way that would have been painful a few weeks ago—“Oh God, son, oh my God”—his dad was crying, Clark had never heard his dad cry like that, like it hurt, like it gagged him to do so, it scared him, and suddenly a shriek split the air, a baby was crying and than his mom was hanging off him, screaming his name, kissing him all over his face, crying--he was crying so hard.
It was over, he was home. He filled himself with his mom and dad, their scent, their feel; it was like being in a dream, or waking at the end of a nightmare….
He filled himself with his mom and dad, their scent, their feel; it was like being in a dream, or waking at the end of a nightmare….
“Mommy?” A tiny voice asked uncertainly, trembling on the edge of tears. His sister.
“Oh baby,” His mom stretched her hand out to the tiny person standing on the drive, staring wide eyed with fear at him. “Come here, honey, it’s Clark, your brother, remember? The pictures you have? This is him.” Clark watched her face slowly crumble, and he felt a little wash of sadness—she was afraid of him. Her fingers twisted the little pink buttons on her white sweater…she backed away, the breeze lifting her blonde curls, and when she frowned, she looked just like his dad, the same outrageously blue eyes, they pierced him just like Dad’s....
Clark dropped down onto the drive and said, “Hi, it’s me, Clark. Your big brother. I’m so happy to see you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here before, but I am now. I hope we’re going to be friends.” He winced--that was probably the stupidest thing he could say, he thought, and hoped he hadn’t blown it.
She looked wary, but came closer when Clark held his hands out, and she let him hug her. She pulled back, little hands on his shoulders and studied his face, and he saw that her eyes were shaped like his mom’s, her face was the same elegant oval, overlaid with a baby’s softness… “I think we’ll be best friends,” he whispered. She gave him a lightning quick kiss on his cheek and pulled completely away to run behind his mom, but she peeked the whole while they talked.
Clark grinned; she was beautiful kid, just like he knew she would be. Her serious blue eyes winked at him from behind his mom’s legs, her little hand was fisted tightly in the material of her jeans. His mom was saying, “We have pictures of you on her wall, and she has a book filled with pictures, and some of your old drawings…it’s her favorite book.” she smiled down at Kala.
His dad wiped his nose; his voice was rough when he spoke. “We’re a family again. This is the happiest day we’ve had since Kala was born. We missed you terribly son. We tried so hard…” he stopped, and swallowed, and his mom went on. “We never stopped looking for you Clark.”
“I know. Lex found the stuff you put out about me—oh! Lex!” He looked at the empty spot on the drive—none of them had even heard the car drive off. “Lex, I’ve got to stop him!” He started to move and his mom almost leaped on him, grabbing his hand.
“No, don’t go, don’t go away again.”
“Son…”
“I promise I’ll be right back, I swear…only long enough to bring him back. Only that long.” Clark hated the fear on his parents face, hated that he did that—but he needed to bring Lex back. He needed him as much as he needed to be home. “Promise.”
He turned to run, run, and suddenly he was—flying, his feet flying over the ground, he didn’t even know that he could do that. It felt good, his muscles stretched and sang—this was something they’d been longing for, it seemed—God, it was wonderful, incredible, almost as good as sex and as soon as he had the thought a shivery little warmth settled low in his gut—it just felt so incredibly good to run all out like this, to break free from the earth. He was happy in a silent frozen world that belonged only to him. He raced past crows frozen in flight , leaped over a newspaper, bent and standing on end and scattered here and there around the sidewalk like pop-art statuary…he had to giggle, just a little, this was so cool--his own private world.
He was almost reluctant to leave the sanctuary of his frozen world, but he dropped back into normal speed at the bridge that he’d first seen Lex Luthor on. Perfectly, Lex was on the bridge, the Porsche a sliver flash as he sped out of town, but no way he could go faster than Clark Kent. Clark sped ahead and came to a stop in front of the car. The Porsche shrieked to a stop. For a moment the air was dead silent—the tic and creak of cooling metal the only sound, and then slowly building, from inside the staled car came a volley of curses, louder and louder as Lex climbed out of the car until Lex was inches from him, and really. Really. Angry.
“The fuck, Clark! I almost hit you!”
“It’s okay, you wouldn’t have hurt me--” Clark started.
“Me, you goof! What about me?”
Clark stared open mouthed, he could feel the crawl of fire up his neck and into his face and he grabbed Lex. “I’m so stupid! I wasn’t thinking--but you left me! After you promised!”
“Clark…Clark. Look, you’re home, they want you, it’s your happy ending, don’t you know that? You don't need me to remind you of bad times.”
“Oh Lex, you drive me *crazy*! You’re going to stay--and then you run away--you hide…Lex, you’re staying here with me, please. I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I *need* you more than anything else. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Lex nodded.
“Do you feel *anything* like I do? Do you love me too?”
“Yes, fuck yes.”
“Than get back in the car and drive me back home and this time, meet my folks—and my baby sister.” He smiled, and Lex sighed.
“God. All right let’s do this…yes, let’s do this.”
******
His parents were still in the drive way when he came back, his mom holding the baby, and his dad behind her, arms around the both of them, and when they saw the car, relief made them sag against each other. Clark pulled Lex out of the car, and dragged him over to his dad and mom. “Lex Luthor, meet Jonathan and Martha Kent. My parents.”
Lex shook hands, and Clark picked up Kala. “And this is my sister. Say hi to Lex, Kala.”
Lex stuck his hand out and she reached out, a little unsure what to do, so she kissed it. Clark could see the ice in Lex’s eyes melt, and he smiled, sweeter than Clark had ever seen….
“Clark. Clark.” His mom was shaking; his dad really looked like he was going to pass out this time. He stared at Clark, his mouth quivering …oh. Oh shit.
“Mom, Dad, about what you just saw…something happened to me not too long ago--”
“Your powers are back,” his dad interrupted.
“My--what? I mean, you…know?”
They looked so conflicted, as if they weren’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing… "When you were a baby, before you were taken…you were different. And then you weren’t and we thought…we thought it was for the best. So you could fit in.”
Clark gaped at his folks, totally at a loss for words. Lex touched his arm. “Remember, I thought that you learned awfully quickly how to control your abilities—this explains it. You already knew, you just didn’t know you knew.”
Clark shot Lex a look, but before he could speak, his mom grabbed him and hugged him hard. “Son, we’ll talk about it later, let’s go in, dinner’s ready and your sister is hungry, okay?”
He looked down at Kala who’d managed to inch her way to stand next to Lex. “Oh, I’m sorry, Kala, we’ll go in to dinner now. Do you want to walk with Lex?”
She nodded solemnly and Lex just as solemnly took her hand and they walked together into the house, Clark trailing his family. Looking. Just—looking.
Dream. Dream…
He knew it wasn’t a dream, but still, it felt…unreal. Hyper real. Too everything, too—much. Maybe it was him, maybe it was the—abilities, Lex liked to call them.
He was walking up the porch stairs, feeling the rough wood under hand, walking into the kitchen and the familiar smell made his eyes ache. It was all the same. And different. Maybe the bright new look he’d searched for on the road was here.
No one wanted to talk yet, not really talk about any of it and Clark was fine with that. He didn’t know what to say, how to start to explain what had happened…his folks were afraid to ask, and he took advantage of that.
Dinner was weird—normal as hell and freaky too. Lex was so polite, a real gentleman and his mom was bowled over, completely taken with him. It was strange to see some one urging Lex to eat, worrying that he was too thin—looking at Lex it was obvious, but he’d never seemed that way at home—Metropolis, he meant Metropolis, not home—he was used to Lex kind of begging him to eat. Maybe because he’d been so wrapped up in himself, he didn’t notice that Lex was as thin as….he’d been. Clark looked down at himself, surprised how big his wrists were, how thick the muscles of his arm were…like another person. He glanced at Lex, and Lex was watching him, eyes so intense—he smiled and looked away when he noticed Clark noticing him.
Anyway, the food was really good. Just like he remembered. He ate as much as he could and it must have been the right thing to do. His mom was beaming. Kala was sneaking looks at him, and it made him smile. She was cute, she seemed really bright, and it was obvious how much his parents doted on her. The kitchen was full of toys and bright cups and cute little plates…they had a different kind of life now, his folks. Kala tilted her head and seemed to examine him as intently as he’d examined her and then turned her attention to Lex. When she looked back at Clark, she smiled. She had a beautiful smile, just like his mom’s.
He took a sip of his coffee and watched Lex nibble around a piece of pie and slide a bite off his fork between his teeth slowly and Clark felt a deep stab of arousal, followed by a wave of guilt. He shouldn’t feel that way in his mother’s kitchen. Should he? He watched Lex swallow, and wondered when he’d be able to get him alone. He blushed…looked up and saw his dad glance at his mom, and blushed harder.
He felt a little confused…he felt a little short of breath. Sitting in his parent’s kitchen, he really, truly felt like an alien.
******
After dinner, Lex left for the castle. “It’s all ready for me, Clark. I called ahead. And it’s late and you need to be alone with your parents. I’ll call in the morning, okay? He glanced towards the house, and pulled Clark close, and kissed him, and Clark shuddered, moaned. “Please Lex, stay with me tonight, please.”
Lex shook his head. “Take it slow, babe. Your parents have to get used to you being here, let alone you and your….lover.”
“Lover. Yeah. “ He smiled, and let his hand drift over Lex’s lapel, a little touch but one that made both of them flare with heat…you’re mine... “Okay. But call me first thing tomorrow. My phone will be next to me. All the time.”
He watched Lex drive away. He didn’t even need to look to know that his parents were watching from the window. He didn’t know if they’d seen the kiss but he might as well tell them about Lex and him. He had so much to tell them. He didn’t know how to start.
*****
“Mom…where do I sleep? I wasn’t sure if—I didn’t know…”
“Clark, you room is ready for you. It’s been ready for you. Your—your pillow is in Kala’s room.”
“My pillow?--Oh. Good. I left it for her. I’m glad she still has it.”
“It’s her favorite thing—besides the bear you sent her--” his mom stopped, her eyes filled with tears and Clark felt like shit.
“I’m sorry. Mom. I’m really sorry.”
“I know hon, I know. You go to bed now, sweetheart, we have all the time in the world to talk about what happened, okay?”
Clark nodded sadly. He knew that wasn’t true, no matter how much people wanted it to be, but it wouldn’t hurt to agree with her. Make her feel better.
He sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at the floor. He was so tired…his room was just the same. Nothing changed. It smelled of lemon polish and clothes detergent. Nice and simple. Not like smoke and come and alcohol…not like sandalwood and cinnamon, like ho—Lex’s apartment. He sat on the edge of the bed, and wished—he wasn’t sure what for.
Looking in the chest of drawers, he found clean underwear, and pajamas. They were the ones his mom bought a few years ago for Christmas, a joke. They had cowboys on them, like a little kid’s jammies and he’d laughed. He laughed again, and held them to his cheek. They were so soft. And clean.
He walked down the hall to the bathroom, he heard his mom reading Kala a bedtime story in a soft murmur, and Kala’s answering giggles and questions…
The bathroom was tiny. He’d never noticed before that it was so tiny. It reminded him of Eric’s bathroom. Only that bathroom held no rubber duckies, or whales or…what was that, a lobster? In Eric’s bathroom he’d had his own hook for his towel…he turned on the shower. He remembered that it took a little while to get hot. In Lex’s bathroom, there was a separate room for the sink and a separate area for the toilet and you could pee and flush without freezing the person showering. In Eric’s bathroom you had to wait. Clark stepped into the tub and carefully put Kala’s bath sponge on top of the toilet tank. He stepped under the scalding spray and experienced a slightly warm sensation. Relaxing. Nice.
In the Twin’s bathroom, there’d been a bolt in the wall for a chain.
He shuddered, felt sick…once he’d spent all night there, standing almost on tiptoe, so the choke chain wouldn’t tighten around his neck, he remembered being so cold, his knees shaking…Clark was washing, and crying—figured the sound of the water made it safe to do so. Eric--Eric put out clean towels for him every morning…once, Jake bought him a shower gel he’d said would smell nice on him and it’d smelled like the ocean, it was nice…Lucas liked to watch him bathe and when he did, he just smiled and smiled…Clark was shaking, the washcloth slid down his stomach and covered the butterfly.
Butterfly.
He could burn it off, he could probably burn his own skin, it would only hurt for a little while. He could try to scrape it off…he was leaning against the tiles and shivering and sobbing.
He was safe. No one was ever going to hurt him again.
He put his hand over the butterfly, and Lucas was licking it, tracing the wings with his tongue. Clark sighed, his dick jerked a little under his hand, filled a little. Lucas always wanted to see it, he’d make Clark keep everything on but take his pants off, and stare at it, he’d been fascinated by it, constantly wanting to touch it, maybe because of what it meant…maybe because those people had done it to Lex too. Clark didn’t know…he moved his hand over his dick and watched himself grow, the butterfly stretch and grow…Lex knew, he had his own…Bobbie had liked tagging her pets. There under Lex’s arm, where the skin was so thin, so tender, under his arm so no one could see…just like Clark’s, it was just for her…Clark sighed and tightened his grip, slid his thumb over the head peeking out--the one on his dick had been the real mark, not the tattoo on his shoulder. The real one was the one that hadn’t come off.
He bit his lip, and stroked harder, doggedly working towards orgasm, just wanting the release…Lex knew, he read the wings, the black lines of the monarch’s wings that spelled out Mariposa. Under Lex’s arm, Bobbie scored the words that told him he was hers…mon chiot Clark gasped and came quietly, only the way his arm shook and the way his stomach jerked told how strong an orgasm it was
******
He was walking around the house. He couldn’t sleep. It was so quiet in the house. Too quiet…Lucas slept with the TV on, every single night…Lex liked music playing in the background, and there’d been noise from the street all the time in Metropolis.
Here there were crickets.
He couldn’t sleep in the silence…he walked into the kitchen, filled a glass from the tap and gulped it down as he rummaged in the fridge, leaning his head against the top of the open door. Different. All the food was different—he slammed the door shut and punched his thigh hard as he could.
What the fuck was wrong with him? This was it—what he wanted—to be home and safe and with his mom and dad. Fuck. He wiped hot tears from his face and slipped out the front door.
He looked up into the night sky and his eyes caught the loft… was that a light? His stomach tightened, but when he looked closer and saw it was just a reflection from the security lights of one of the outbuildings, he let out a long breath. Yeah. He exhaled--sharp, quick-- and gave in. He knew where he wanted to be. He had to get there quickly. Took another deep breath and --
He squeezed through the fence and zipped across the driveway, he broke the lock on the front door, but he figured it didn’t matter, he’d be with Lex and Lex was safe with him. Besides, any idiot crook breaking into the castle deserved what they got.
He faltered when he entered the cavernous foyer, it was…he’d never been in a place like this. It didn’t look like a home, it looked like a museum—and somewhere in this warren of rooms was Lex…he shook his head—‘you’ve got powers fool, use them.’ He closed his eyes and sniffed.
There it was…he inhaled, and savored the smell, the taste of Lex on his tongue, so familiar it made him hard right away. He listened, and heard Lex’s heart, the beat he could pick out of a crowd anywhere.
Seconds later, he was outside the door of the room Lex had chosen to sleep in. He opened the door quietly and carefully, slipped soundlessly inside.
Of course Lex was sitting up and staring at him. He didn’t say a word, just held the covers up and Clark kicked off his shoes and climbed in gratefully. “I’m not staying,” he said.
“I assumed that was the idea when you didn’t take your clothes off. You’ll have to call your parents anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because they’ll worry.”
“But I’ll be home in a few hours. I’m not going anywhere.”
Lex sighed. “Clark…you parents aren’t; going to believe that, not for a long time. Be kind to them and let them know you haven’t run again.”
But I won’t. I’m not going to run--this is where I want to be.” He pushed into Lex’s side and slid down a little like he always did, so that Lex could pull him under his chin. He thought about it…and realized the 'this' he wanted to be at was with Lex. “Okay. I’ll call them. In a minute. First I just want to horrify you with cuddling.”
“Clark, you should call them before you get comfortable--”
“Lex. I *said* I would. Can’t we just enjoy being close for a little? For my sake? I really need it. I’m feeling kind of lost…”
“All right, Clark.” He was quiet for a minute and then said, “I can guess how you feel…when I first got home--”
He grimaced and was quiet, and Clark waited, prodded him a little when it looked like he wasn’t going to speak. “Tell me Lex. Can you tell me what happened? With the Galletti’s?”
Lex exhaled, and looked totally relaxed, a faint smile on his mouth. Clark could feel—hear---how his heart raced though, smell the sharp tang of sweat—fear. “What happened to me was pretty much what happened to you. They’d find someone they want and break them. Play with them. I didn’t know I was sold for a year. Collateral. As time passed, I came to think of it as a sort of fostering, like…feudal families, you know? When I was very young, it helped a bit, until I was older, and realized that it was just…abuse.” Lex stopped speaking and Clark held him.
“I’m going to call my folks, and I’ll be right back.” Lex nodded and Clark took his phone and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Mom? Sorry, were you awake—oh. I’m really sorry, but you guys were sleeping when I left—I’m at Lex’s. I might spend the night. Okay. Yes, me too. G’night.”
Lex was looking at him. Clark frowned. “What? *You* need me right now.”
“Clark—this is all old, old stuff. Happened a long time ago. It doesn’t…I don’t even think about it.” He rubbed a spot right between his collarbones. “It’s a pale memory.”
Clark nodded. “You know what? When I look at you, I see the reason that can never happen to me again. You made me—unhurtable? Is that a word?”
He reached out to touch Lex’s ankle and he slid it casually out from under Clark’s touch. “You’re grateful.” He said it in a flat tone and smiled again and Clark rolled up the bed and shook him.
“More than that, idiot. Much, much more than that. I love you. I guess I’ll have to say it a lot. I love you. I finally found you. Love--” He poked Lex gently in the chest. “You.”
Lex smiled, a real smile, lop-sided and toothy, and Clark felt like he did the first time he walked into the sunlight after he was fixed, just that wonderful. “If you’re staying Clark, would you mind…your jeans are kind of rough….”
“Pansy.”
“Because you’re sanding my skin off with your cheap Wal-mart jeans?”
Clark grinned and rolled on top of Lex. “These are the ones you bought me, Mr. Two Hundred Dollar Jeans Make All The Difference.”
“Shut up.”
tbc...
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(no subject)
4/3/07 06:30 am (UTC)Ooo by the way Clark grinned; she was beautiful kid, just like she knew he would be.
I think you got the he and she mixed up, or is that just me?
(no subject)
4/3/07 06:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 09:05 am (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 09:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 11:12 am (UTC)I love that Clark calls Lex on his sh*t - 'Geeze Lex, don't leave meet my parent, dummy. I love you!' -- Clark is going to have to hold tight to Lex now that his parents are back in his life. Lex is going to keep trying to do the right thing and leave Clark to his parents when Clark needs Lex too.
I like how Clark is dealing but not -- that is totally fair. Things are only going to get worse before they get better.
Kala is cute. I love how she is fascinated by her brother's boyfriend, and really who wouldn't be?!?
(no subject)
4/3/07 07:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 12:11 pm (UTC)Clark keeps thinking about home being where he was with Lex, he's definitely right. I just hope he doesn't have to fight too hard for it.
(no subject)
4/3/07 07:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 12:16 pm (UTC)I'm loving the new parts. You are so good!
(no subject)
4/3/07 07:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 12:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 01:45 pm (UTC)*grabby hands* More please.
(no subject)
4/3/07 07:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/4/07 12:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 02:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 02:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 02:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 07:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 03:23 pm (UTC)Oh, and Kala is awesome--I loved Clark seeing both of his parents in her.
(no subject)
4/3/07 08:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 04:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 08:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 04:23 pm (UTC)That scene in the shower, all his little flashbacks?
Creepy and so *sad* and just...
*pets him*
Such good stuff, Miss Rose!
(no subject)
4/3/07 08:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/3/07 05:39 pm (UTC)I like that Clark didn't just show up and be happy, I'm not sure that would be realistic....
He's going to have to try and work his way back into his family, the dynamic has changed. I like that Kala was so cute with Clark once she started to warm up to him.
Nice update.
(no subject)
4/3/07 08:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
4/4/07 02:29 pm (UTC)*sigh*
(no subject)
4/5/07 12:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
4/5/07 10:12 am (UTC)Under Lex’s arm, Bobbie scored the words that told him he was hers…mon chiot
Ignorant, non-French-speaking person that I am, I'm forced to look pitiful and ask for a translation. (Also, you need a period right after that quoted bit above.)
(no subject)
4/6/07 02:15 am (UTC)Thank you so much--I'm all happy here!
(no subject)
10/18/12 07:59 pm (UTC)