roxy: (Default)
[personal profile] roxy
Title: East of the Sun

Author: roxy
Pairings/Characters: Lex/people, eventually clex

Rating:PG-13
Word Count:1507

Summary: Lex learns about trust and love from an unlikely source.
Notes/Warnings:implied sexual abuse



Many, many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] danceswithgary for beta duty, and the beautiful cover!



A wonderful feature of the boarding house was the small blue-and-white bathroom halfway down the hallway that featured a sink big enough to wash a calf in, as well as a toilet. Clark thought it was close to heaven and spent as long as he could in it. He brushed his teeth forever, and washed himself thoroughly from head to toe, leaving nothing out. He emptied the sink three times, refilled it with fresh water, and rejoiced in being clean again. He combed his hair straight back from his forehead, liking the effect a lot. He frowned at it. As always, the ends rebelled and tried to curl. Some kind of pomade, that's what he needed…what was that brand Whit used, it smelled so nice…he frowned even deeper and chased that thought away.

He sighed. Of course, thinking of Whit led to thinking of home, thinking of family. He wondered what Hannah was doing right now…most likely saying her prayers and tucking Beans under the covers. Tonight was Friday, so she'd probably listened to Doc Savage earlier. He smiled, remembering how she'd nicknamed the loft 'The Fortress of Solitude' after Doc Savage's hideout. He wondered how his mom and dad were getting along without his help. Dad's workload had doubled, that much was certain. He tried to quell his feeling of guilt by telling himself that they were better off without him. Without his appetite, without his needing things, maybe they were even saving money. He sure hoped so. They'd be able to get some nice gifts for each other this year…he wiped his eyes and felt silly, but Christmas without his parents…it was going to be a hard day to get through. At least he had Reggie.

@@@@@@

Back in their room, Clark emptied his bag, put what few items he had in the small dresser, and hung his and Reggie's jackets on the back of a chair. Reggie admitted that he was feeling under the weather, and Clark thought that he was looking paler than usual. His usually smooth voice sounded rough. After a brief argument, he got Reggie to accept the bed. He spread his sleeping bag on the floor and chatted with Reggie, as he got ready for bed.

"You should stay in tomorrow; this weather isn't helping you one bit. Maybe if you feel better later on, you can find out if the landlord has a hotplate to lend us—and don't forget to unpack. Make yourself comfortable." He smiled fondly at the older man. "I'll bring you some soup or something when I get home."

"Home," Reggie repeated. "Don't you like the sound of that, Clark?"

"I do, Reggie. Clark Kent and Reginald Harley, now at home to callers." He laughed lightly and Reggie chuckled. "Say, about unpacking, there's an empty drawer for you…oh, and there's a bakery at the corner, did you see? If you're not feeling too bad tomorrow morning, we can get breakfast there, and I'm thinking about writing my parents a letter to let them know I'm alive and well...."

Reggie chuckled. "Stop and breathe, Clark! But yes, writing your parents would be a fine thing to do. I know they must be desperate for word of you. We haven't spoken about them before, or your…circumstances," Reggie said carefully. "But I'm sure, whatever you think you did wrong can’t be so awful. I don't think it's possible that you could ever do anything really bad. Or…oh, no...." Reggie stopped and a horrified pity filled his eyes. "Could it be…your parents couldn’t accept that you're special?"

"No, no, they never hid from that part of me, not really. But to keep safe, we had to hide it from other people. We just—we had a lot of secrets in my family. I guess I just didn’t want for them to have more."

"More?"

"There was this boy…a friend of mine. I thought he was a friend. I was wrong. But…he made me feel…different. Not like. You know." He stared at Reggie, hoping he wouldn't make him say more—he must know what Clark was trying to say. "Don't get me wrong, I like girls. He just…confused me."

Reggie took a deep breath. "I--I understand that. Would it help if I say at your age, many young men are confused? They have momentary flashes of an uncomfortable feeling and worry when all along it means nothing. You shouldn't worry, Clark."

"Did you…are you." Clark stopped. He had no idea how to ask. "Are you unhappy?" he asked instead.

"Unhappy? I'm not unhappy. I…just am," he laughed. "I'm not certain it's a state to strive for. Now you go to sleep, and then tomorrow write your parents. You're going to do fine, Clark, you'll make good friends and good things will come to you, believe me. Your life is soon to become so much more interesting."

Clark snickered. "I don't know how interesting it's going to be in a hotel kitchen. At least, we get one good meal a day out of it."

Reggie reached out and turned of the light. "Pleasant dreams, my dear friend, may angels watch over you," he said, just as he had every night since Clark became his friend. A faint wash of red-and-blue colored the walls from a dancing neon sign farther down the street, and the faint sounds of traffic seemed to fall and rise in matching rhythm to the light. Rain against the windows made distant music and Clark could hear people talking, movement in the hall outside their room…he was being lulled to sleep by all these sounds, and then Reggie broke the silence.

"Atonement…" he murmured.

"What?" Clark blinked upwards, trying to focus on what Reggie was saying.

He was up on one elbow, turned towards Clark. A human wouldn't have been able to see him in the dark, wouldn't have seen the expression of pain on his face, but the dark was nothing to Clark. "Atonement, amends, penance…redemption. Do you believe that good works can bring salvation? I don't. No, that's a lie. Sometimes I do. I hope. I helped you, didn't I? And didn’t hurt you? I love you Clark, you're such a good person, a good soul. I wasn't exaggerating when I called you an angel, you know. When I saw what you could do, I really did think it was over. I was relieved. But every night I went to sleep and still, every morning, woke again. Oh my God, when will it be over?"

Reggie's voice rose and fell, his thoughts seemed to ramble and twist and Clark tried to make sense of them. "Why are you saying that? Do you think you need punishment—that's what you're talking about?" Clark was upset, and Reggie was frightening him. "You're not a bad person, Reggie, you can't be."

"The surface gives no real clue to what's underneath. You should remember that." He swallowed and went on. "There is a beginning, a middle, and an end to everything. In the beginning, I was a teacher. I taught history at a private school. I fell in love with a student."

"So you fell in love…that…doesn't seem so bad."

"It doesn't, does it? Words with no context. Surface. The boy was…he was younger than you. It was bad and ended badly. Of course."

Boy? Clark felt shock and something like betrayal. "Younger than me? But not much younger, right? Right, Reggie?" The Reggie he knew couldn't…wouldn't do anything bad. Clark didn't *want* him to be able to. Horror seeped in, chilling his soul. "Did the boy understand? Did he know, or was he confused…." Like me, he almost said. Reggie was quiet for a long time before Clark realized Reggie going to do the same that he did at times--wasn't going to answer, but he had to know. "Reggie, please. What happened—?"

"…the middle of the story." Reggie shook his head and touched the side of his mouth. "His father was beyond rage when he found out." Clark watched him trace the slim C-shaped scar. "I think he was going for my eyes, or perhaps my tongue…." he spoke so low, Clark wasn't certain he was talking to him anymore. Reggie was silent for a long moment. "Go home, Clark...go home." He turned his face to the wall and was silent.

Morning came, and Reggie was still in bed, still facing the wall. Clark called his name but he didn't answer. He went to his bedside and shook his shoulder gently. "Reggie?"

"I'm awake, Clark...just tired, so tired. Do you mind going on without me, my friend?"
He turned a bit, looked up into Clark's face and winced. "Ah. When you get home, we'll talk about the rest...the end of the story."

Clark went to pet his arm, and stopped, smoothed the bedcovers instead. "Sure. We'll talk when I get home. I'll bring dinner." He wanted to smile but, looking at Reggie's expression, he couldn't. He left the room and headed out to his new job.

part 17
TBC

(no subject)

3/16/08 06:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rednihilist.livejournal.com
*sigh* Oh, I knew it couldn't be anything good that drove Reg away from his old life, but this. . . we sure do love the drama, don't we, my friend? *g* We are comrades in angst! (Hee-hee, I made a funny.)

Wonderful, painful post. In other words, a job well done!

(no subject)

3/16/08 07:00 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
heh! Of course! It had to be!

Thank you so very much!!

(no subject)

3/16/08 07:05 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dm-wyatt.livejournal.com
I'm worried for Reggie's health and state of mind. I hope he'll be okay...

*hugs*

Another wonderful chapter.

(no subject)

3/17/08 02:52 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Thank you, beloved! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

(no subject)

3/16/08 07:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] myownghost.livejournal.com
reggie really is fading, wasting away. i hope he goes with a sense of atonement, for real.

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
At least he found a friend in Clark, someone who believed in him.

(no subject)

3/16/08 08:37 pm (UTC)
danceswithgary: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] danceswithgary
Poor Clark. Poor Reggie. Just when things look like they might be getting better. *sigh* Love this so much!!!!

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
I swear, you are the very best! *HUGHUG*

(no subject)

3/16/08 08:40 pm (UTC)
tabaqui: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] tabaqui
Oh, poor boy, poor man....
*hugs them*

Don't go home, Clark - just be happy.
*sniffle*

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
awwww!
*huggles you*

(no subject)

3/16/08 09:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] me-ya-ri.livejournal.com
Oh, poor Reggie... And poor Clark. I can just see that Reggie's not long for the world and Clark's going to be so distraught about it when Reggie's finally gone.

Hope to see the next part soon!

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
It will be difficult for him for a bit! The next part is coming *very* soon! ;)

(no subject)

3/16/08 10:56 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jakrar.livejournal.com
Wow -- beautifully poignant chapter. *pets Clark, whose illusions are again being shattered* So Reggie thought that Clark was the Angel of Death, sent to bring him peace at last? Poor man. I have a feeling he might not last long enough even to tell Clark the end of his story. *has wild thought* It wasn't Alex that Reggie fell for, was it? Not that Alex would be hard to love, but he was older than that when Lionel threw him out, right? *wibbles* Can't wait to read more!

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:09 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Goodness, wouldn't that be a wild coincidence, hmm?

But not even Lionel could be that cruel, tsk.

*koff*

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jakrar.livejournal.com
Goodness, wouldn't that be a wild coincidence, hmm?

*eyes you narrowly* In fandom, wild coincidence abounds.

But not even Lionel could be that cruel, tsk.

*snorts and scares the cat*

(no subject)

3/17/08 04:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
*hands on pudgy hips* Now when have I ever indulged in wild co...oh dear *koff*

Saaaay, what's that over there!?!?! *RUNS*

(no subject)

3/17/08 05:35 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] jakrar.livejournal.com
*grins evilly and ponders giving chase*

(no subject)

3/17/08 12:01 am (UTC)
ext_29545: by [info]keeraa (shy shower clark)
Posted by [identity profile] opusnone.livejournal.com
I must admit I too immediately thought of Alex being the boy in Reggie's past. Can't be, right?

The relationship between Reggie and Clark continues to charm. It's wonderful how Reggie is able to give Clark a positive perspective not only on his abilities, but also on Clark's "confusion"

A simply lovely chapter.

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
thank you so much! I don't think you know yet how much I enjoy victorian style drama. ;)

(no subject)

3/17/08 12:25 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com
Oh Reggie. It's not your fault for falling in love, you gentle soul; you can't choose who you love or else Lex would have such an easier life in just about every fanfic. Love the update!

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
How true!
thank you so much!!

(no subject)

3/17/08 04:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] dragynville.livejournal.com
I'm always cheered up to see more of this story, but now I'm going to be all atwitter to know what happens next. ;D

(no subject)

3/17/08 04:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Aww, that makes me smile all over--and good news! The next update will be *very* soon!

(no subject)

3/17/08 03:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] talitha78.livejournal.com
Sad, but lovely chapter.

(no subject)

3/18/08 12:42 pm (UTC)
ender24: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] ender24
ahhh, damnnn *hugs reggie*, you fix him, right !! god, dont let him die, and let clark loose a friend, he so desperately needs!

(no subject)

3/18/08 03:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
but that would make life too easy for Clark--can't have that! *G*

(no subject)

3/18/08 03:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Thanks so much my dear. The next chapter is a little more upbeat. *smiles*

(no subject)

3/18/08 03:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] epeters.livejournal.com
You are good. I just caught up with Chapter 16 last night and I see #17 is up today. Yeah!

So Reggie is an interesting character. I like the hobo related theme. He kind of reminds me of a cross between George from Of Mice and Men and Ratzo from Midnight Cowboy. lol

I think I can see how Clark and Lex are going to connect but I'm content to wait and see how you'll surprise me.

(no subject)

3/18/08 03:49 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Oh, I'm sure they're going to meet pretty much as you imagine! *G*

Reggie was interesting to write, the whole hobo thing is so interesting the story could have been all about that!

(no subject)

3/18/08 03:52 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
it get's better! *shnuggles all over you*

GETS!! Gosh.
Edited 3/18/08 03:53 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

4/7/08 03:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] helioshyperion.livejournal.com
Hmm...I'm not sure how I feel about Reggie now. Onward.

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