hmmmm...kid fic, you say?

[roxy]

Here's things I'm discovering as I read my way through a shit-ton of J2.

Some of this kid fic is pretty darn good, some of those kids I ended up liking pretty well. I would name names but I never remember a fucking thing--title or author. (There was this really great story not a J2 that I lost track of, with Sam and his daughter by Ruby, I think--if this sounds familiar to anyone please let me know who it is. I'm sure I'll be horribly embarrassed to find out who wrote it, but embarrassment is my middle name. Yes, it's hell filling out legal forms...)

But I digress! Kidfic, yes. Say, some of these people who write this kidfic--have they ever actually interacted with a child? Spent longer than a half hour taking care of a child? And if you actually deal with your kids the way folks deal with their kids in these stories, then shit. Ya'll are some patient motherfuckers.

Comments

[selinamoonfire.livejournal.com]

LOL I think that sometimes too. I keep remembering my time being a substitute TA and think "why are these kids so nice when I babysat little monsters?"

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

Ah-ha-ha! So true. You speak (write, post) words of wisdom, and I kinda really doubt there's a whole lot of kid-interaction going on. I have nieces and nephews, and already I can tell ya they're dirty shits sometimes, man! And that's just me as Aunty. I don't even wanna know what happens when I leave and they're not on their "best" behavior anymore.

But, uh, Embarrassment? Well, it's better than Jer-Majesty or Pilot Inspektor, I guess. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!!!!!

Man, my kid tried acting up with Auntie when Mom wasn't around--*one* time. And when I got back and found out what she'd done--ass whipping number two. We didn't play, we were strictly old-school.

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

I love my kids. I adore my kids. But this is part of a story I wrote where Snape and Harry have a baby:


Harry studied the baby closely as she lay sleeping in her crib. A trail of drool was wetting the bed linens.

"You're sure she's not possessed or anything, right?"

Snape sniffed. "My daughter is the most perfect specimen of infanthood. She simply uses the only methods available to her to convey her grievous disgust with the world."

"Really? So that whole projectile vomiting thing is normal?"

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Right? Dang, you couldn't pay me enough to babysit when I was a kid and then when I had my own kid, it just confirmed my suspicions--little kids are a pain in the ass! ;)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

"Really? So that whole projectile vomiting thing is normal?"

LOL!!!

That's about right, right there. The first time my kid filled the inside of her jumper from toes to neck with poo, all I could think was "what horrible cosmic joke is *this*?????"

That was also when I discovered they only tell you the good parts about breast-feeding, not the godawfulnot so good parts.

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

I know, right? Kids are awesome and the sweetest things ever, but they're equally just soulless little demons. My dad used to say he didn't think we even had souls until we were about four years old. :)

Old school. Yes! I wait tables, and some of the parents/families that come in? They just suck at parenting their kids! I'm always shocked at how careless these people are. 'Course, it annoys and pisses me off when I have little brats running around and making messes, but I think afterward, "What the hell is wrong with those parents?!"

Whoops. Got off on a rant there. Sorry, hon!

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

"what horrible cosmic joke is *this*?????"

Hee! I remember being so... stunned... when my daughter's bowels really let loose as an infant that I wasn't sure what to do - clean her or myself. I still swear that she crapped more than she actually weighed.

[selinamoonfire.livejournal.com]

I didn't want to do it, but pesky unemployment made it necessary. I never babysat when I was a kid, but at least I could send them to the office when I was a TA.

I love your icon!

[locknkey.livejournal.com]

Ya'll are some patient motherfuckers. LOL!!!!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Shoo, girl. I did not have the patience for time out and discussions about why she shouldn't have blah-blah-blah. I admire those who do--in a kind of head-tilty, oh rilly? sort of way. *G*

respecting your rant

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

RIGHT?

Those people are doing their kids no favors by not setting them limits. They're lazy. Sure, nothing sucks more than having to be the bad guy to your kid, but that's part of the job, you know? It's hard work, making them sit, be quiet, pay attention, explain that mom&dad love you but the people sitting behind us just want you to sit the fuck down and shut the hell up. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Just 'cause I love my kid doesn't mean anyone else has to. ;)

[rockstarpeach.livejournal.com]

I was actually thinking something silimar recently.

I mean, I actually enjoy some good kidfic, but seriously, have some of these people ever even met a child? They always seem to feature four year olds who are either doing calculus, or can't even ask for a glass of juice without tripping over half the words.

[tabaqui]

HA.
Kidfic.

So very rarely is it any good. I loathe children pretty much across the board, and being forced to read about someone's weirdo fantasy of a 'perfect' child for their 'perfect' rps 'ship gives me hives.

*cough*

Anyway. Yeah. Some authors seem to think all kids are either the Von Trapps or Dennis the Menace and nothing else. Or maybe just human-looking animals, since they don't give them much in the way of brains.
*shudder*

[nerowill.livejournal.com]

*hee* And the fic!kids never pull the annoying-as-crap, uh, crap that my kids pull either. If I thought they knew what they were talking about, I'd begin to doubt my parenting skills... (Oh, wait, it's too late for that!)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

parenting skills? *snort* Mine pretty much consisted of, "Do like I say and we might all get out of this alive..." ;)


CUTE ICON!!!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I loathe children pretty much across the board,

that right there is one of the many reasons why I love you.

. Some authors seem to think all kids are either the Von Trapps or Dennis the Menace and nothing else

Right??? Crap, I even wrote kid-fic ONCE!!! and pretty much that kid was a little bratty...hey, we play to the audience! ;)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!!! Right? Like everything they know about kids comes from Nickelodeon or the Cartoon Network. :)

[tabaqui]

*twirls you in circles*