hmmmm...kid fic, you say?

[roxy]

Here's things I'm discovering as I read my way through a shit-ton of J2.

Some of this kid fic is pretty darn good, some of those kids I ended up liking pretty well. I would name names but I never remember a fucking thing--title or author. (There was this really great story not a J2 that I lost track of, with Sam and his daughter by Ruby, I think--if this sounds familiar to anyone please let me know who it is. I'm sure I'll be horribly embarrassed to find out who wrote it, but embarrassment is my middle name. Yes, it's hell filling out legal forms...)

But I digress! Kidfic, yes. Say, some of these people who write this kidfic--have they ever actually interacted with a child? Spent longer than a half hour taking care of a child? And if you actually deal with your kids the way folks deal with their kids in these stories, then shit. Ya'll are some patient motherfuckers.

Comments

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

I love my kids. I adore my kids. But this is part of a story I wrote where Snape and Harry have a baby:


Harry studied the baby closely as she lay sleeping in her crib. A trail of drool was wetting the bed linens.

"You're sure she's not possessed or anything, right?"

Snape sniffed. "My daughter is the most perfect specimen of infanthood. She simply uses the only methods available to her to convey her grievous disgust with the world."

"Really? So that whole projectile vomiting thing is normal?"

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

"Really? So that whole projectile vomiting thing is normal?"

LOL!!!

That's about right, right there. The first time my kid filled the inside of her jumper from toes to neck with poo, all I could think was "what horrible cosmic joke is *this*?????"

That was also when I discovered they only tell you the good parts about breast-feeding, not the godawfulnot so good parts.

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

"what horrible cosmic joke is *this*?????"

Hee! I remember being so... stunned... when my daughter's bowels really let loose as an infant that I wasn't sure what to do - clean her or myself. I still swear that she crapped more than she actually weighed.