Okay!! Ooh, man. I LOVED. First, we had Benny calling Dean, his AA sponsor. And omg, poor Benny. He's out of his own time, he just lost a family member he was so very close to *and* he fell of the wagon, and he's calling Dean and it's so obvious he just needs that connection.....
And Dean wants to help him but he just cannot divide himself anymore, he *can't*, and his wee, sad face when he said goodbye....
And Sam said 'Jessica'. He *still* mourns her, fuck, that broke my heart, and he's trying so hard to have his 'normal' and 'safe' but he knows he can't, and that pisses him off, and he's angry at himself, and jealous of Dean&Benny, and guilty, and hey, he's rockin' the PTSD pretty hard, you know? Just like Dean. And they're *trying*, but dear gods, they are so tired....
And now, poor Castiel. He wants to atone, and to be forgiven, but he's being jerked around and fucked over and he's going to remember and have his heart broken all over again and these BOYS. So much emotion and so much pain and it's really very much like *life*, only with added extra monsters. I love that Dean chose Sam without making Sam feel guilty, and Sam chose Dean, ditto, and they're not *fixed* or terribly happy, but they're together and i luff them so.....
missyjack had a wonderful post-show review you should read. *smooch*
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1/18/13 04:12 am (UTC)And Dean wants to help him but he just cannot divide himself anymore, he *can't*, and his wee, sad face when he said goodbye....
And Sam said 'Jessica'. He *still* mourns her, fuck, that broke my heart, and he's trying so hard to have his 'normal' and 'safe' but he knows he can't, and that pisses him off, and he's angry at himself, and jealous of Dean&Benny, and guilty, and hey, he's rockin' the PTSD pretty hard, you know? Just like Dean. And they're *trying*, but dear gods, they are so tired....
And now, poor Castiel. He wants to atone, and to be forgiven, but he's being jerked around and fucked over and he's going to remember and have his heart broken all over again and these BOYS. So much emotion and so much pain and it's really very much like *life*, only with added extra monsters. I love that Dean chose Sam without making Sam feel guilty, and Sam chose Dean, ditto, and they're not *fixed* or terribly happy, but they're together and i luff them so.....
*smooch*