Not happy.

[roxy]

I'm so down about my BB that it's screwing up everything. I just can't feel crappy that I'm having trouble with it, no, I've got to translate that into "I'm a crappy person." I'm *not* sending this hot mess to anyone until I get some sense that it's salvageable. Though if any of you could give me an ending, that'd be great--hah.

I'm giving myself a couple of days to pull this shit together and if I don't feel like I'm going somewhere by Friday, I guess I'll drop out. I'm not a fast writer anymore--if I can't get an ending roughed out by the end of the week, I'll never have anything by May 1st. I was rolling along pretty well throughout the weekend, about 3000 words--not great, but not bad--and then it fell apart when I realized I had no idea where it was headed. Which isn't terminal if you're posting a WIP but not if you're trying to make a deadline. :(

I'm just bitching here because I need to get this out, and I can't at home. You know how they are about my hobby. Not entirely non-supportive, but they're much happier if I never mention it at all. So, I just kind of wander around all bitey-lip and swearing I'm fine because it always feels silly to get so emotional about something that's only important to me and a few folks in a faraway land who might possibly be unicorns, for all I know. *sigh* Thanks for letting me babble. I'm going to print out all the fucking ugly pages and look over them at work tomorrow. And if anyone asks me what I'm doing I'm going to straight up tell them, "Wondering how I can get these brothers to fuck each other...any ideas?"

Comments

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

I admire you for even attempting it because I know damn well that I couldn't do it. All those words, ideas, plot premises and character motivations, beginning, middles and endings that all have to tie together neatly and make sense on a deadline to boot. I'd run screaming because I know I wouldn't be able to deliver. I admire those who can greatly and appreciate all their time and effort just so we can get the pleasure we do from it.

It's tough, it's bloody hard when it all has to be wrapped up neatly and you can't just finish it with a TBC so you know, don't be too hard on yourself and if you want to rant I'm always listening.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I do appreciate the offer! I just have to really look at this thing hard. I'm forever taking these long leaps into stories that are much too damn big for me, hah!