Not happy.

[roxy]

I'm so down about my BB that it's screwing up everything. I just can't feel crappy that I'm having trouble with it, no, I've got to translate that into "I'm a crappy person." I'm *not* sending this hot mess to anyone until I get some sense that it's salvageable. Though if any of you could give me an ending, that'd be great--hah.

I'm giving myself a couple of days to pull this shit together and if I don't feel like I'm going somewhere by Friday, I guess I'll drop out. I'm not a fast writer anymore--if I can't get an ending roughed out by the end of the week, I'll never have anything by May 1st. I was rolling along pretty well throughout the weekend, about 3000 words--not great, but not bad--and then it fell apart when I realized I had no idea where it was headed. Which isn't terminal if you're posting a WIP but not if you're trying to make a deadline. :(

I'm just bitching here because I need to get this out, and I can't at home. You know how they are about my hobby. Not entirely non-supportive, but they're much happier if I never mention it at all. So, I just kind of wander around all bitey-lip and swearing I'm fine because it always feels silly to get so emotional about something that's only important to me and a few folks in a faraway land who might possibly be unicorns, for all I know. *sigh* Thanks for letting me babble. I'm going to print out all the fucking ugly pages and look over them at work tomorrow. And if anyone asks me what I'm doing I'm going to straight up tell them, "Wondering how I can get these brothers to fuck each other...any ideas?"

Comments

[rockstarpeach.livejournal.com]

I would be happy to give you an ending!

Sam and Dean stand in front of the CN Tower, hold hands and rub their tummies and and chant 'Care Bear's Stare!' over and over until Crowely shrivels up into a weeping, tired little ball of withered-up demon and hands over the key to saving the world.

Or... did you want an ending specific to your fic?

What's your fic about?

(I probably shouldn't mention that I've been finished mine for about a month)

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

I admire you for even attempting it because I know damn well that I couldn't do it. All those words, ideas, plot premises and character motivations, beginning, middles and endings that all have to tie together neatly and make sense on a deadline to boot. I'd run screaming because I know I wouldn't be able to deliver. I admire those who can greatly and appreciate all their time and effort just so we can get the pleasure we do from it.

It's tough, it's bloody hard when it all has to be wrapped up neatly and you can't just finish it with a TBC so you know, don't be too hard on yourself and if you want to rant I'm always listening.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh hey, wow, thanks for making me feel better! :D

Wait a minute...I FEEL LIKE SHIT! how is this helping?

*stabs Sam and Dean*

[dimeliora.livejournal.com]

Though if any of you could give me an ending, that'd be great--hah.

Do you need someone to bounce ideas off of?

I know this feeling. In fact I had it this morning and Sammich pointed out the most incredible fix ever. So yeah, sometimes you need someone outside of your head to see your dilemma.

I feel for you though!

[rockstarpeach.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey!

I know you can do it. I've seen you do it before! And you know, they don't actually have to have sex in the end. (Yes they do).

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I do appreciate the offer! I just have to really look at this thing hard. I'm forever taking these long leaps into stories that are much too damn big for me, hah!

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

bb, please feel free to send to me, I'm happy to give you some perspective and see of I can offer any assistance/guidance.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

And you know, they don't actually have to have sex in the end. (Yes they do).

LOL! I know, I already tried to talk myself into a gen story and I was all "ew!"

*sigh* I have pulled many a fic out of my ass, that's true. And also ew, for unwelcome images. Don't think about it, it'll just make you go blind.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, it's really, really *ugly* and uncoordinated and all over the place...it's 6th grade me, come to think of it.

I'm going to try and pull all the unconnected pieces together and then I will send them to you. I know you get what I'm trying to say. Hopefully, I can fix it so everyone else can see it too.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I do, it's just I've screwed up the middle so it's this big muddled ball of fic and I can't even begin to think of an end until I straighten out these tangles. They're really weighing on my mind. The story might be less crappy than I think but once my brain heads that way, it's just really hard to stop and wrangle it back into a positive place.

The folks who've been hanging out with me here can tell you I've got a problem asking for help. Not bitching though--got no problem whining and bitching. :)

[dimeliora.livejournal.com]

Well it was recently pointed out to me that I may be a sadist, so if helping you would make you miserable, please allow me to...wow there was no way to end that sentence cleanly. None at all.

Seriously though, you ever need somebody to demand you to let them help you I'm there. You were the first person to give me guidance here. I owe you. :D

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Awwwwww...thank you, that means a lot to me.

I'm a little afraid of where this might lead us...yeah, no way to end that sentence in any kind of way that's not a little scary. ;)

[locknkey.livejournal.com]

you can totally hit me up, bb. want me to do a quick read through or brain-storm endings?

[portraitofafool.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you feel with the no one caring about what you do. I'm a professional writer on top of doing this, been working on a book for over a year and do you think anyone gives a shit? No, they do not. It sucks when you feel so alone with your words and story because sometimes a shoulder to neurotic cry on is the best thing a writer needs. Being stuck to deal with the characters, the plots--all of it--by yourself is a frustrating thing. It's why writers tend to end up batshit half the time, I think. *hugs you* I want you to know I'm here for you and if you wanna talk, PM me or email me (think I sent you my email ages ago?).

I'm happy to brainstorm an ending with you, whatever you decide, just give me a quick rundown of it in a PM (or right here if you want) and where you'd like it to go ultimately, even if it is a vague idea. I'm good at endings (otoh, I am shit at beginnings) and am happy to help you. Writers need other writers for support, I think, because we get it. The hours I have spent on the phone angsting away with a friend of mine are epic. Lol.

One more thing then I'll hush, I promise: I wanna toss this out there because I saw it up yonder-ways: A fic--yours or anyone's--doesn't need porn to be a Sam/Dean (as opposed to Sam & Dean) story. Sometimes forcing the porn is about the best way on Earth to fuck a fic up, believe me; I've been there--and I cut the porn because it was wrong for the story. Think about the story first and if sex happens then it happens, if it doesn't... then it didn't need to be there in the first place. They can kiss and maybe grope a little, but as long as they're not hanging out eating pizza and watching softcore het porn together (awkwardly) then it's still not gen. The main thing is to tell a story, I swear this to you. I don't mean that discouragingly (not a word, I don't think), I actually mean it in an encouraging manner because if it's just the porn part that's tripping you up then don't worry about it.

Also, a quick little factoid of a sort: Ending a story that long with a sex scene after everything else isn't a good idea--I am not the only one who thinks this by far. Why? Because it makes the whole story; all of the plotting, angsting, dialogue-ing and everything else that led up to the sex almost completely meaningless because it looks as though you (I am using that generally, btw) have written this entire thing with the sex being the sole purpose for the story in the first place. If that's the case then you should've just written PWP. Again, I am not saying any of that to discourage you, I want you to know it's okay to write a fic--particularly a long one--that doesn't have (or especially: end) with sex. Mine's over 79k and there's not a single sex scene in it and I promise you, it is very much a Sam/Dean fic.

Please don't give up now, you're almost there and you've still got nearly 2 weeks. I really believe you can do this. Come on, girly! *cheers*

[gingersnap1224.livejournal.com]

On behalf of all of the other unicorns, you get your butt in there and finish that story!! The unicorn nation demands a Roxy story.

I'm happy to help.

[peepingdru.livejournal.com]

I got nuffin but encouragement...and some naughty...x0x0x00x0x0x0

[lyryk.livejournal.com]

I hope it works out! Your writing is lovely, and I have complete faith that you can do it. ♥

Sometimes when I'm stuck, there are a couple of tricks I use to get the story moving ahead. 1, I look at image prompts for inspiration. Just a random google search, or even a comm such as slashtheimage. 2, I ask a friend to give me three random words, and then I use word associations to come up with settings/moods. Sometimes it's great how a scene or plot detail suggests itself once you have a context or emotion in mind. IDK if this will help, but I thought I'd share, just in case. :-)

GOOD LUCK!

[tabaqui]

Aww, bb.
*smishes you tight*

You send this fic out to whoever said 'send it to me!' and you stop listening to that inner, nasty voice that's telling you everything sucks.

It DOES NOT! You are a wonderful, incredible rainbow unicorn, flashing across the sky on magic sparkly hooves!!

I know this, because SO AM I!!

Get sparklin', bb.
*smooooooch*

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

OMG Dru ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!! Love you, bb!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

Roxy, I enjoy your writing.Slash is definitelynot for the faint of heart! I've gotten the Ooh gross comment more than once when I mentioned I like reading it! Even though I don't write cause I can't string two nonrun on sentences together ; I appreciate those who do so as writings like painting or designing . Hard work and plenty of bst blood sweat and tears. And yeah you should definitely lay that idea out there at work! Who knows you might get some good feedback! Good luck with the piece.

oh...my...

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

((O_0))


I'm not sure if I'm inspired to write or wash my face. I was going to say get a facial but that seems to be already going on...LOL!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!

I thank you for your kind encouragement. ;)

[runedgirl.livejournal.com]

I just got stuck staring at Dru's comment for like five minutes. lol. *ahem* I'm chiming in to say don't give up - I'm also empathizing with you, since I'm not sure how my big bang is going to end either. I have a general idea, but I'm certainly not there yet. Remember that you only need to have a rough draft done by May 1 - I keep reminding myself of that. Sketch out the rest of the story and the ending, and you can go back and flesh out the rough parts later, whether that's with Sam and Dean tumbling into bed or holding hands or just growing old together. Just don't give up, because I selfishly want to read your story! :)

[tifaching.livejournal.com]

Complain away, BB, this is YOUR space. And don't feel that getting emotional over your writing is silly. Your stories are important to you and it doesn't matter if only a few unicorns (LOL) in other countries like them too. i"m sure that there are more than a few and possibly some griffins and satyrs are in your fanclub also. YOU are what matters. Chin up and get them fucking!

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

Dude, I'm here. WTF? Send that pup through the internets or ramble at me via email, and we'll get this shit done.

Also, totally shoot that comment at work. Fuck, yeah.

Just realized there's some adult language in here. Musta filled up my big words quota already. And you're really hardcore for doing the Bangs in the first place. I've never finished one. Just trying means you're a badass pro.

But, seriously, you need me, I'm here. Come on, Snuggles, you know you want to! :) *pat pat grope fondle pat pat*

ETA: And, BTW, the politically correct term is mono-points. "Unicorn" is our word!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!
*CLINGS AND SNOTS ALL OVER YOU*

You're the best. I'm going to whine all over you, fair warning.

I'm so sorry, I apologize profusely to all the mono-points out there.
*laughs behind my hands*

I'm about to shoot you a holler. ;)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Chin up and get them fucking!

You know, I think those are my most favorite inspirational words ever. Thank you! :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

ach, I know, but honestly, I love sex scenes in a story, I want my fic to have the Sam/Dean. But. If it's not working that way, I will just have to let it go. It wouldn't be the first time. *cries bitter tears* Not that Dean's not getting laid in this fic--I love Dean/OtherGuys so I'm making myself happy that way. I'm going to look over everything again, think real hard about this guy Sam and see what pops up, so to speak.

[bluemeridian]

...I WANNA BE A UNICORN.

*she says, getting stuck on the least consequential portion of the whole post*

(er, whoops, helps if you click the right button. I COULDN'T. HOOVES, YA KNOW. HARD TO OPERATE MOUSE.)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!

YOU SHALL BE A UNICORN WITH ME!

I raise my hoof in solidarity. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so very much!!

Image prompts--what a great idea--I like that very much! Though for this story, I think I'd be afraid of possible images...*G*

♥!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Bless your sparkly hide! We are magical, damn it. I am a magical special frickin' writing unicorn.

*HUGS*

Thank you!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

This writing thing--calls for lots of tears, I tell you, lots and lots of tears, hah! I'm tempted more and more to ask at work--someone has to have an idea! *GRIN*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I want to read *your* story!!

I was looking at this haystack of a story and wondering if I could fake a middle and an end...like, is it a rough if it's rough enough to sand wood? I don't know...

just growing old together.

That would be the best ending. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much--I swear, you are the best! ♥

[ciaan]

"Wondering how I can get these brothers to fuck each other..."

Sex pollen! Demons make them do it in a fuck or apocalypse scenario! A hot woman dares them to! Pie! The Impala! They are sent back in time and are suddenly teenagers again! Evil hats! Uh, yeah, I don't know your beginning set-up so that's about all I got.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*FALLS DOWN LAUGHING*

Okay, there's the beginning of my next couple of fics....

Pie--yes, yes, it has to be the pie! :D

[tabaqui]

*smooooooooch*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*hugsmoochhugshnuggle*

[ciaan]

Maybe Dean has his own American Pie moment?

oh...my...

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

RUN, INNOCENT LITTLE APPLE PIE, RUN!!!

Re: oh...my...

[ciaan]

I suspect that in all these years it must have been done before by someone somewhere somehow...

Though, what about Clark? He likes pie too. I did read this one fic with Kon eating pie off Tim...

(I think it was apple, but maybe cherry, I actually don't remember. It came from a professional bakery, though, because even though Martha makes the best pies, you DON'T use Grandma's pie in your sex life, no no no.)

Re: oh...my...

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

because even though Martha makes the best pies, you DON'T use Grandma's pie in your sex life, no no no.)

*spit take*

HAHAHAHAAAAA! No, that would be *very* wrong!