writing is like open heart surgery on yourself

[roxy]

so ask me why I love it?

I'm a measly 1000 words into my MOL sequel. What's holding me up is this lazy not wanting to research. I've got to do music and TV and movies and places...usually much fun but I'm just kind of dragging my feet.

In the mean time, I had some kind of weird ass frickin' J2 a/b/o dream and that's not even much my flavor. Bleah. It was really odd, not a lot of visuals but strangely tactile and that hardly ever, ever happens. I don't feel things or smell stuff that often in dreams. It's mostly all visual and rampant emotions. *shakes head* It was seriously weird. I think I need to stop reading stuff that makes me gnash my teeth, too. Why do I love torturing myself this way? With the reading and the triggering tropes? Is it like my version of self-abuse only without the blood and scaring?

Watch, I'll end up trying to write my way out of it just like I tried to write my way out of a horrible rape dream I had once. Hello, Firebird, looking at you.

My birthday's coming up soon. I'm going to be 59. You know what that means? It means no one wants to hear about your sex life anymore, no matter how good it is. I'm going to start lying about my age. From now on, I'm going on 70. That way folks will be like, "Girl, fuck me you look FABULOUS!" See how that goes? If I tell folks my real age, they're like, "*wince* Ooo, damn--you sure? I woulda said 60-some. Hunh."




Oh well, let the good times roll. Toujours gai and shit. ;)

Comments

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

You're so adorable :-)

I'm going like this: write 100 words. Look at Facebook. Write 200 words. Look at lJ. Write a few hundred words. Go to superwiki and look stuff up. Write 100 words. Realize you don't know how to get from Point A to Point B. Get some vodka.

<3

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!! OMG, THAT'S JUST HOW I'M WORKING!!

Only coffee not vodka...hmmm. Maybe that's what's missing! :D

[firesign10.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!!! It was coffee this afternoon, vodka tonight. ;-)

[lexophilia.livejournal.com]

Firebird changed my life back in the day. It's one of your best.

I wish I had a billion million dollars so I could afford to pay you to write another story in your Ripley series.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Girl! You don't know what you do to me!

That story was wild. There was some seriously bad stuff going on in that fic. That story freaked me out while I was writing it--*so* much hand-holding was needed!

I still love Ripley. Is it a bad thing to admit it's one of the few stories I wrote that I reread on the regular? *blushgrin*

[gingersnap1224.livejournal.com]

I tell people I'm either 72 or 24. They both get very hilarious yet very different reactions.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!! There you go! :D

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

See? This is why you're my favorite. :)

[tabaqui]

Awwwwww!!

You're 18 to me, bb.
*smoooch*

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

Damn-you sure? I woulda said 18 to 21 that sounds about right to me :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL! Well, if I smear Vaseline on the mirror, I do look pretty dam good. :D

[peepingdru.livejournal.com]

U YOUNG THANG U!!!!!!!!!!.....;p

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

You and me, girl, you and me!!

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sometimes I tell people I'm 50. I look AMAZING for 50. I tell them the secret is to stay fat so it fills out the wrinkles. My goal is to get them all eating burgers.

BTW, come visit me in Aus for your birthday why not. I work near a pancake restaurant.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!

Ooo, I do like pancakes....

[bt-kady.livejournal.com]

Girl, I LOVE the tactile dreams I have! The only problem I have is that I always wake up right when they're getting 'interesting'. Tactile ones are the ones I can still remember YEARS after I have them.

A/B/O dream, huh? I've never had one of those, and I love that trope.

My BD is coming up in a couple months, and I'll be 51. *sigh*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

See, but you can sit back and say, "Roxy on the other hand is old as dirt." and then you will feel younger! :D

Tactile dreams are weird right? Everything is so intense in those dreams!

It was an a/b/o thing and it wasn't. I'd really like to write it but it'd just be all horribly depressing and sad and horrible. I'm ready to write some fun stuff after my BB! :)

[bt-kady.livejournal.com]

I actually love my tactile dreams. I wish some of them were real! If they were, I'd be having some really good times with Jared and Jensen!

I love reading A/B/O fic but I wouldn't be able to write it.

[day221b.livejournal.com]

Your gif is cracking me the f*** up.


I don't know if it's me getting ready to read a new fic from a favorite author or it's me having an... idea. Either way, it brought a smile to my face. <3

((and sometimes we just need a break from fic. It helps us recharge our batteries. Not even getting into the sehhhx thang. You lookin' good, girl. *said with full finger snap action* :D ))

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

LOL!

*glomps and hugs hard*

[dimeliora.livejournal.com]

For me it's Solitaire. I hadn't played that game in like, three years, and suddenly I have four Big Bangs to write for and I'm obsessed with getting my win percentage to a lousy 50%.

Also, your subconscious is playing with you. Tell it you're gonna write what you want and then smack it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. If that works teach me how to do it. :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!! Inspiration is an evil bitch, that's fir sure! :D

[write-light.livejournal.com]

Hey, Shatner's way older than you, so there's that. :D

Or how about: Jared PLUS Jensen's age is five years older than yours, so it's all cool.

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Or how about: Jared PLUS Jensen's age is five years older than yours, so it's all cool.


Ooooh, now you just got me picturing a Jared/Roxy/Jensen sandwich don't even ask me how! ;)

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

Love the Kirk gif! That's the way I felt about 60, but it's ok by now. 59 is a great age, kiddo. Still a baby.

a/b/o... Hmm, must research.

Firebird was, as I've told you before, the only story of yours I couldn't read because of the violence. And I loved The Dog! Interesting to learn it was inspired by an awful dream.

Me, I can't write fiction anymore. Got tired of my own characters, which is just sad. I need some inspiration but would rather not have a terrible dream to get it!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Still a baby, lol! Good, then I'll grab my hotpants back out of the Goodwill box. *GGG*

And you know, only you and me know what hotpants are. My kid was shocked to find out that not one of her friends knew what the heck she was talking about, hah!

Ach, that a/b/o thing can be horrifying, but I've read a few stories that were actually thinky and good. I've only read in SpN fandom, not sure what other fandoms feature this odd ass trope.

That Firebird dream was the weirdest thing. Clark and Lex were standing in the shadows listening to Lenin speak about revolution and somehow Clark isolated Lex and raped him in a really violent way, so bad that when I woke up I was scared! Horrified that I had a dream about rape and horrified that it was *Clark*. It changed a lot on it's way to the page, so to speak, but it really shocked the hell out of me. Mostly I have really, really mild dreams about kissing someone. My dream self is a little prudish. But a good kisser. :D

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

Hotpants! Red satin, I hope. :D

Fanlore.org just filled me in on what a/b/o is. Not to my taste, though I remember reading some of that in the HP fandom. (One rather startling example had Harry involved with both Remus and Sirius. I wouldn't reread it and was ambivalent even at the time.) Wonder why you dreamed about it!

Kissing dreams would be lovely. I dreamed once, many years ago, about kissing Bruce Cockburn. Still remember that one. I miss kissing more than I miss the rest of it!