Top? Bottom?

[roxy]

I sent a note to sillie82 recently, because of an interesting comment in a post of mine. I thought I should share my wondering with you,'cause I'm nice like that.

The issue was warning for top/bottom. Now me, I don’t get why it matters. I like switching the best, maybe I'm just greedy. In years past, I would have really gotten steamed about being asked to warn for who tops or bottoms. Nowadays, I sort of get that it's not my judgment to make, and for some people, it's *very* important. I'm working like hell to be more open to other folks—so I'm going to try and remember to tag for that stuff.

A question to you all.

I get how you label Top Dean(or top whoever). That means of course, that Dean is fucking various characters, not being fucked. So, how do you label it if there's non-penetrative sex, but one is clearly the aggressor, for lack of a better word? Would the person instigating the sex be the top? Does it even apply in a situation like that?

What do you think? What tags would you like to see that folks don’t use enough? What tags should people stop using? I vote "this is crap I don’t even know". I do—NONCLICKY.

Comments

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Ah, there, I think what I was actually meaning but not getting that's what I meant, was content notice, which is very a very good idea! I tend to be all over the map as far as the boys are concerned, so letting folks know what to expect is a kindness I guess!

You know, I often avoid a story because I see dom!Dean or Sam, thinking it means BDSM--but it seems you're using it just to mean the less aggressive partner? Interesting! I'll have to look more in the future! :D

[dreamsofspike.livejournal.com]

I would use dom!Dean to mean that Dean was the MORE aggressive or dominant partner in that pairing - just for clarification. ;) And I don't know, maybe I'm weird and most people don't do it that way, but actually these days very few of my fics contain actual sex at all - and I still use those terms to define the dynamics.

I was looking through the comments and like a couple others said "Toppy Sam" or "Toppy Dean" is also a good option especially for when there's little to no actual sex. :P

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

yes, gosh--exactly what I meant--*more*--oy!