so, just a little question here, my friends....

[roxy]

If you thought you were sick, like potentially fatally sick, and you didn't tell the people closest to you, would that be considered lying? No reason I'm asking, just curious.

Comments

[fireheart13.livejournal.com]

It would only be lying to me if protestations of good health were made. if it wasn't discussed, then it wouldn't technically be lying. i'd think there still might be some feeling of betrayal after the fact that it wasn't/hadn't been shared - "why didn't he/she say anything?" but it wouldn't be the same as "oh i'm great!" when that wasn't true.

did that make sense?

[fufaraw]

I'm going to say, if you have medical confirmation of a terminal condition, you are under some obligation to tell the people closest to you. If you're obviously ill and they ask, you should tell them. It's really shitty not to be told, and have that sprung on you.

If you're protractedly ill, you need to have a medical diagnosis, and not just hide under the sofa and hope it goes away.

Not that I have any experience with either side of this issue, you understand.

[tabaqui]

Uh, yes? Also incredibly dumb, hurtful, and rather selfish. The people need to know, because for something like that to come out of the blue and, say, kill a person? When they had no idea? Will make it all that much worse.

So yes.

And, upon reading your other comments. Holy fucking gods, woman. If you have some kind of issue happening, knock it the fuck off and get to the doctor. Right now.

Jayzus, don't make me come up there.

[peepingdru.livejournal.com]

Fear....stops pple from telling loved ones. Fear that THE FEAR becomes real. Not lying imho b/c pple are just trying to cope. When I worked palliative care those that told family late usu said this...and they didn't want things to change and be treated differently. (((padas))))..xx

[chellexxx.livejournal.com]

Yes, you should share your fears as often as you share your happiness

My son didn't tell me or his girlfriend for a long long time he was sick. When he finally confessed, we were straight off to the doctors. He'd been suffering a very long time by that time. Idiot.

He felt better just for telling us. A problem shared ......

xxx

[jesseofthenorth.livejournal.com]

Lying by omission, right?

[phoenixnz.livejournal.com]

I agree with you Roxy. It is easier to share a problem of the spirit. Having said that, I've not told my friends what's been going on in my life and kept quiet and boy, did I get in trouble! So don't be a silly sausage, ok? If something's worrying you, tell us. We're good listeners at least.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Had a friend do that. Told her family she was recovering from a minor cancer issue, they found out after she died it was incurable pancreatic cancer. Fucked her kids up something awful. Me, too, because we all believed her when she said it was just the chemo making her sicker and sicker.

[blackrabbit42.livejournal.com]

My Grandfather did this. Went to the hospital, found out he had liver cancer, came home to die and didn't tell anyone. He lived only a few days, if I'm recalling my family history correctly. I wouldn't call it lying, but it was a shitty thing to do.

Now, it sounds like you are talking about *worrying* that you have an illness, not *knowing*. I would say that if you were worried, but didn't know, then it's OK not to share your worry with everyone. Get the facts first.

My husband is, among other things, a hypochondriac. He's been worried about everything from (I am not making this up) beard hair cancer to hand herpes. Diabetes. Triple E. Internal bleeding, hip replacement. You name it, he's been worried that he has it (or, in the case of the hip replacement, worried that he needs it). Now, it's like the boy who cried wolf. He's going to have a legitimate concern one of these days, and we're just going to laugh and write it down in the "Things R. has thought he has" journal. Then we'll feel terrible when he really does die of Alien Hand Syndrome.

:)

[dawnybee.livejournal.com]

IMO, it's not lying by omission, but it's better to share any and all information for support, advice, comfort, planning for whatever eventualities. It's not a good talk to have but it's important. It may feel like it's burdening someone but I think it's better to share he "burden" than shoulder the worry and leave people out of the loop. And that's my 2 cents. And you know what you can get for 2 cents: a day with Chad Michael Murray because he's a cheap loser.

[supernutjapan.livejournal.com]

*squishes*

Now why did that remind me of Sam in 11-1 or Dean in Season 9 or Season 3 LOL?

I'm glad you found there was nothing wrong, sweetie. So relieved. So many are sick and suffering :') But if ever anything like that happens, you should really tell the people who care about you. I think they would feel very hurt that you kept something like that from them. I mean, wouldn't you?

I'd say always check with the doctor first though, and quickly, so that if I do have such a disease it is caught early and possibly cured, and I and my family/friends don't have to worry unnecessarily ... but that's more easily said than done. I understand the dread that makes one not want to find out the truth. I'm glad you were able to go though and find out it was nothing. Really glad. *hugs you tight*

[agent-jl36.livejournal.com]

This discussion was really hard for me to read. I can be a very private, introvert person. My biggest challenge all through my life has been asking for help. Here is everyone saying "Of course you should share! It's an obligation to your loved ones!"

That freaks me out. When I freak out, I get quieter. If I'm dealing with something, I need my own time to do my thing before I can even EXPLAIN what's going on.

If someone is fatally sick, wouldn't that person also have the right to live their last days\moments as they wish? Some may choose the comfort of their friends and family to help. Some may choose to live as normally as they can. Someone like Sam may need to let Dean finish his part of the job first (that Saving People thing!) before Dean's attention gets super-focused on Sam. Also gives Sam time to come up with a plan - we all know Sam LOVES having a plan!