well, merry christmas to you too.

I'm sure you heard about the scandal involving my employer, that whole thing revolving around theft of information and whatnot. Of course, being the deeply caring place it is, we were sent a script to give customers who called in a panic. Not real information, mind you--a script, which I attempted to render sensible in my position as fitting room attendant and stand by phone answerer when the real operators are, I don't know, smoking, taking a shit. In other words, I knew about as much as the average aloe plant. This I did all day yesterday, apologizing, trying to smooth over folks fears--you know, doing what the Corp wanted.

Imagine my surprise when a customer called this afternoon, apparently specifically to call *me* personally out as a liar because I gave her information that *yesterday* was good as far as I knew but of course this story unfolds in bits and pieces as time goes on--things change. Anyhoo, it was revealed to me that I am a lying liar who lies, maliciously and with intent to pull the wool over the eyes of hapless individuals of fine moral character. I tried to explain but she cut me off and invited me to go to hell, three different times, with escalating volume and inventive departures. I laughed, thanked her and wished her a good day and she hung up on me. I bet she misses the days when you could slam a phone down with vigor and make a person go deaf. I know I do....

People, folks, friends...our phone has called ID. Redial. You know...your mother was sorely tempted. but she's grown-folks so she let that bitch go. It wouldn't have been worth my job though there would have been some deep satisfaction, I'm sayin'.

What have we learned from this, dear my friends? That the internet wasn't the creator of anonymous asshattery. That being unseen on the phone will make you act like a motherfucking, moronic, loser asshole. I get that folks were scared and rightly so, but what the fuck is your local store going to do? Not much. Still, I was damn proud of myself for saying "Thank you," to this bitch instead of "fuck you." Personal growth, my friends. :)