writing, drawing, and drugs and sex...

[roxy]

We call that the hook. *grins*



You know, as glad as I am that I'm no longer contemplating suicide once a month, thanks to no longer taking Paxil(or as it's also known, the DEVIL) I confess, I miss the flip side. That scarily good good GOOD mood I'd be in for a couple of days after. Geez, I miss it. I miss writing and thinking "HOLY SHIT! I'm a fucking GENIUS!!!" So much more satisfying than, "Hot damn, I don't suck all that much!"

When I compare writing to drawing, I'm much more satisfied with what I've written than anything I've ever drawn. Weird that. In fact, I can't point to any drawing I've ever done and call it good. The most I can say is okay. Maybe the color worked, or the line, or a shadow--
On the other hand, there are a couple of stories I've written I think are pretty good,and one or two I think are damn good.
That's right, I said it. I feel stupid now, but I'm not taking it back.

So the other night, I had a dream about a girl with a penis!! I know it!! Normally, I'd be all ick. But this dream was so odd. In this dream, I was at dinner with the Fam and flirting with my waitperson (as usual--I always flirt with the waitperson) who happened to be a cute girl (she looked sort of like Aisha Tyler—who personally I like but not enough to kiss, so that was odd) and way too young but in the dream I was younger too. Ah, black hair. I remember you... anyhoo, I somehow ended up in the garden of this restaurant with her and we were kissing and goodness, it was such a nice kiss. It really lingered--you know how you can feel your lips all warm from it for hours? It was like that. Nice. And then she said, look, and I looked down and there--my word. What a surprise. Nice looking dick, though. Sadly, I had to refuse. Married, after all.

So ther ewe have it, Sex, drugs-sort of. No rock and roll. sorry. *G*

Comments

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

paxil gave you "suicidal ideation," as they call it? did i already tell you that my son attempted suicide while on it? this was a couple of years before they started posting warnings about giving it to kids. that was a scary night. :/

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

No, you didn't--Paxil really is the devil and the way they handled that was truly evil. I can't begin to imagine how horrible that must have been.

With me, I figured it had to be the Paxil talking, because I'm not the kind of person that sees suicide as an option--not since I was an emo teenager way back when dinosaurs stumbled the earth. Mind you, I've never heard of anyone else having the monthly meltdown I used to have, but now I'm just normal crazy so I guess I was right.

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

i'm glad you're just normal crazy now. i think many of us end up learning to deal with the normal craziness. (my son did, and i do too.)