(no subject)

[roxy]

So, let me see if I can explain my absence--and yeah, for me, it's been pretty much an absence because I post nearly every day, even if it's just to chat about the horrible pimple I've developed on my wattle, which, true, but not the reason I'm posting tonight.



We've been on a rollercoaster ride with my dad. The ups and downs have been trying, to say the least. I'm trying to decide what to do--plan his future, I guess. We spoke tonight about what he wants. He's a little scattered, but not that much. He understood what I asked, and made suggestions. He worries too much. He's not a hundred per cent sure I can handle this but...who else has he got? What I should have done is given all the info to Mr. R and sent him in to talk to Dad. *g*

Dad's been in and out of the hospital twice since the last time I mentioned him here. I've had a meeting with the folks at the assisted living facility where he's been the last 8 years. They want him back, but I'm not sure they can handle his needs. He can't get up on his own, so he can't make it to the bathroom, even with assistance. Which means he needs to be cleaned and changed in bed and he has diarrhea frequently. He's got a feeding tube, no food at all by mouth. That means he needs to be monitored, and the feeding tube cleaned and really, he needs 24 hour assistance. They're not normally set up for that but they assure me, it would work. Except on holidays, or if someone calls out, or...stuff. So. I'm still thinking. At any rate, it's not easy.

The lady who runs the assisted living facility seems to think that I'm not letting myself really look at the situation as it really is. Maybe. I'm just waffling back and forth and no one can really tell you what to do, least of all Dad. I have no idea how to have this conversation with him. I can't. I really, really, don't know what to do. My brother comes up in two weeks. Maybe by then, I'll know, if not, maybe he can help me decide what to do. Oy.


Maybe later on, I'll post a little snippet of what I've been working on, kinda sorta. A sentence here, a word there--eh.

ETA: thanks you guys--you make me feel so much better. I really appreciate it! *hugs you all*

Comments

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

Just, {{{hugs}}}

[valentinemichel.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ms. Roxy.

*hugs you tight*

[garryowen.livejournal.com]

Aw, Roxy. Tough decisions. I hope you can find good care for your dad. It's so hard being old.

*hug*

[ellyfanfic.livejournal.com]

((((Hugs))))

[goth-clark.livejournal.com]

{{{HUGS}}}

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

*lots and lots of hugs*

[me-ya-ri.livejournal.com]

*Great big hugs*

[danceswithgary]

Really tough situation. My sympathy. *HUGS*

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tight*

[dm-wyatt.livejournal.com]

Aw...

I know this is tough for you.

*HUGS*

Hang in there, sweetie.

[rhiannonhero.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. I wish I knew what to say. My heart goes out to you.

[ladydreamer.livejournal.com]

So hard. :/ *hugs!*

[rosy5000.livejournal.com]

*hugs and cuddles you* Even the idea that one day I'll have to deal with problems like this with my parents scares me. I'm just happy I have 6 siblings to help with any decisions. *huggles* ♥

[coneyislandbaby]

*hugs my Roxy*

[ferdalump.livejournal.com]

Awww, I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. I know EXACTLY what you are dealing with and I know how hard and stressful/emotional/draining it can be. I was raised by my grandparents and my grandfather had severely ailing health. And I'm not sure if you recall that my last job was at a health care facility for the elderly. I actually handled admissions and dealt with families and the children often who were struggling with what you are, and it is a very tough decision to make. There is never an easy answer and sometimes you just have to go with what feels right in your heart. I'm sure the lady means well, but she probably also has a quota, too--so don't let her get in your head too much. At the end of the day it is your father and only you know how it feels to take this next step with his care. I hope your brother is a help to you, and please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Right now I'll send snuggles and prayers. :) :) :)

***BIG HUGS FOR YOU***

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

That's so tough when one gets old. *sigh* It's really not easy deciding what to do.
Having a person to care for 24/7 alone is *exhausting* and so very expensive if one gets extra help. Maybe if he goes to the living facility (especially if the want him back), perhaps occasional help could be arranged on the holidays?

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon! *hughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughughug*

:D *squeeze and an extra side of snuggle*

[fleegull.livejournal.com]

It's not an easy road with a sick parent, I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you, your dad and your family.

[xinsidemyskinx.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

[suzvoy.livejournal.com]

*clings so, so tight*

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

What about a home carer? Is that possible? There's no real solution to any of this.

I've been complaining all day as I have to spend my one day off a week running my mother around - she's obsessed with her feet and with going to the hairdresser every week. At least she's not pooping herself (just wetting, and that's an easy clean). I should stop complaining, could be worse, right?

[myownghost.livejournal.com]

it's so hard when our parents get to this stage. i hope it works out with the assisted living place, since it sounds like he's been happy there, and happiness is worth so much.

sorry i was late to respond. i've been away, but even so, i noticed you weren't posting. <3

[lapetite-kiki.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

[nerowill.livejournal.com]

*hugs* This stuff is devastatingly hard. I wish I had same sage advise, but in lack of that I'll just be sending thoughts of good will in your direction. *extra hug*

[tasabian.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. This must be an incredibly stressful situation. I hope you are also taking care of yourself while you cope with this.

It's nice that the assisted living facility is so eager to have your Dad come back. I bet your Dad is a charmer. Like father, like daughter.