In my spam today

[roxy]

ENLARGE YOUR MANHOOD 2-4 INCHES PERMANENTLY

Why can't they promise to make me taller? How hard could that be if they're gonna give me a dick? One I did not ask for, by the way. Also, could those strange foreign girls stop trying to make dates with me--especially that one who's gone from kind of clumsily flirtatious to shrilly demanding? Take a breath, bitch.

So, how was *your* day? I'm good--I have four days to finish my first draft, which looks like from here to be about 4000 more words to call it good. Ahahahaha! *so fucked omg*

Comments

[peepingdru.livejournal.com]

I would LOVE a willy....Life is sooooooooooooooo much easier me thinks....from peeing to sex....::PPPP

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Well there *is* the "taking a whiz in the wilderness and *not* peeing on your shoes" whole thing that would make it worth it....

[tipsy-kitty.livejournal.com]

Oh, pshaw, I figured out how to pee in the woods years ago. It's all about ballast. Willy Schmilly :)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

okay, you made me laugh out loud and everyone just whipped around and stared at me. :D

[rednihilist.livejournal.com]

First, HAHAHAHA! (Although, I don't know, I think when propositioning a stranger in a foreign language, it's best just to go full-out and shout that shit. I mean, in for a penny, in for a pound [or well over a hundred pounds, in this instance], and who doesn't like a girl with some lungs on her? Breathy is so last year. Screamers all the way, baby. Plus, no shame. If a girl's screeching she wants sexy-times with you, then she's probably not a tease, at least. Volume=resolve. It is known. *wink*)

Second, what is this negative attitude I am hearing? 4,000 is doable, hon! You can do eeeet! C'mon, c'mon! Write it! Rah rah rah! *shakes pom poms*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I think when propositioning a stranger in a foreign language, it's best just to go full-out and shout that shit

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!! Like that right?

If a girl's screeching she wants sexy-times with you, then she's probably not a tease, at least.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

[tabaqui]

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhaahahahhaahhahaa.
*cough*

Fuck that, man. I don't want a dick unless it's detachable. Sometimes you have one, most times you don't, 'cause, frankly - most of the dicks i know are...dicks.
*snerk*

I never get foreign chicks wanting to bang me. Just wanting my bank account number. Lame!

*fic fic fic fic fic fic fic fic fic!!!!*
You Can Do Eeeeeeet!!
*twirls you*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Detachable dick!! What a great idea!!! There must be some way...oh, wait a minute...I think, I think...isn't that a DILDO???

[tabaqui]

Yeah, but, you can't *feel* anything with that. What would the point be if it were just a lump of plastic? I want *living flesh*. Just pop it in the 'fridge or something.

*dies laughing*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!

*scratches desperately at brain*

NOOOOOOOOO, ONCE THOUGHT, CAN NOT BE UNTHOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

[tabaqui]

Oh, Ms Thang, you know it gave you a little tingle.

:)

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*flinch flinch*

Meeeeeeeeep....

[gingersnap1224.livejournal.com]

Perhaps those foriegn girls could get dates with the African Princes waiting for their inhetitance and leave us alone.

Go Big Bang! You can do it!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*SCREAMS LAUGHING*

yeah, Bang, woooo. *cries*

[stir-of-echoes.livejournal.com]

Ugh! I wouldn't want a dick unless it meant I wouldn't have to partially undress every time I needed to use the bathroom, that's a handy benefit I'll give them that.

And yay! fic *pompoms you* you can do it, you can *shakes pompoms*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

heeeee! There is that! *GGGG*

I'm going to do it tonight--2000 my goal! *shakes those pom-poms hard*

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

Adrianna that bitch, we haven't even met and already she's cheating on me!!!!!

[(Anonymous)]

I think having a dick would be very useful! I'd certainly get paid more! Bwahh haha! the foreign girls not so much! thanks for the laugh! Good luck on the story ! You can do it!

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

*GRIN*

Thanks so much! I've got my fingers crossed! ;)